Currently we are experiencing unnecessary frustration from well-meaning (sort of) but clueless and, as it turns out, disrespectful relatives who are contently retired and are trying to give us job-seeking advice.
I ask all of my readers who are unemployed and have been for the long-term and know what it's like today to try and create some sort of a consistent, stable income for ourselves, either through traditional means and creative, new means, to come forward, write your story so that I may pass it on to these inconsiderate morons. (I say inconsiderate because I have consistently asked them not to offer up any advice--that if they are truly interested in helping they need to ask us what we need. THAT HAS NOT BEEN HEARD and I am royally fed up at this point and done w/it all.)
That being said the best thing I can do for myself is accept them for who they are (grrrr) and delete all further incoming e-mail from them. They won't end the conversation? I will.
I cannot imagine seeing any of them suffer or struggle in any way while ignoring their stated needs and instead telling them what I *think* they should be doing (even if it is something they are doing/have done). When any of them have shared personal information with me about something they are undertaking, I listen. I ask what they need. And on the occasion where I do offer up advice, I make it clear--just some information--if you can use any of it, great. If not, toss it. (Such things have usually been related to some health issue they or someone they care about are dealing with.)
I recall something one of these folks said to me a few years ago. She was talking about how it was in her day, how oh so much easier it was to afford a home, health insurance and raise a family. I succintly recall her saying "I don't know how young people do it today. Even two adults working isn't often enough. There is no way I would want to be starting out or starting over in today's world."
"There is no way I would want to be starting out or starting over in today's world". And yet this same person today can judge us because we are struggling in a world that is even more uncertain and unstable than it was when she made that comment?
What's even more of a difficult pill to swallow is that, up until we became pregnant, I RARELY HEARD FROM THEM. I usually had to call or e-mail them. There was little, if any, interest shown in our lives. But now suddenly they think they can intrude in our lives with unasked-for advice? What's this really about? Our well-being and the baby's well-being or their hidden guilt for being lousy in the helping department?
I'm fed up with being dismissed. Done with being disrespectfed. Done with being abandoned. Done with being silenced.
This is family???
No. This is what happens when you happen to share a bond through blood and/or marriage with pretentious, selfish folks who have a table full of fillet mignon and freshly squeezed lemonaid and offer you up a piece of day-old bread and some room temperature water.
I'm truly done with them all. Anyone care to claim them?