Are You A Member of OPB? All Things Considered, You May Wish To Reconsider.

Here's a list of salaries for the higher-ups as e-mailed to me by a friend. How can these folks put on these pledge drives saying "waaa we neeeeeeeed money" and yet justify paying such wages? Just another example of the elite looking to the little people and asking for a hand-out. Fuck that. Make a statement. If you're an OPB member, cancel. If enough people do that, maybe then they'll start to employ some responsibility and reinstate AUTHENTIC public radio.


Is A National Sales Tax Coming Down The Pike?

Called a "Value Added Tax" or VAT (Very Assinine Tactic, so says me), such an idea is being considered to create more revenue.

This would serve two purposes as I see it:

One, fund more war.

Two, have us paying more on the cheap crap from China and Mexico (amongst other things) whilst encouraging us to buy such products in greater quantity considering that's all the average person would be able to pay if a VAT is added to goods and services.

Although wait. The VAT is used all over Europe and the people there have health care and college education paid for. Surely the U.S. would create such social services for the people, correct?

"A White House official said a VAT is "unlikely to be in the mix" as a means to pay for health-care reform."

Nope, doesn't look like it.


And oh yes, such taxes are regressive. But what the hey, the current "everyone pay the same price regardless of your income" is regressive, so why not continue the immorality? I mean god forbid we actually tax the elite of their fair share and DO NOT ALLOW THEM TO TAKE A GOOD CHUNK BACK WITH RIDICULOUS TAX WRITE-OFFS. God forbid DC policy wanks actually get some balls and gg's and stop spending our money bailing out their Big Biz pals.

This has become so old to me. I'm so done with it all. I'm so ready for something new, different, more fair and evolved. More heart, less ego. More sharing, less control. More equality, less "good 'ole boy/girl" behavior. A world where, at the end of the day, the people are fulfilled, content, at peace. A world where, at the end of the day, we have an authentic smile on our faces and in our hearts.

I Want To Live Here.

Or someplace exactly like this.

Log home. Tucked into the trees. Lake and/or stream nearby. The only noise coming from forest creatures. Aaahhh. City living has done burned me out. I'm ready for a change!


UFO Seen In Corvallis. Again.

This is really getting a bit ridiculous. This one was seen Sunday evening around 11:35pm. Mr. N was outside having a smoke. I suddenly had this urge to go outside. As I stepped outside, I was drawn to look due north. That's when I saw it suddenly appear. This very bright (unblinking) light that was moving due east. Mr. N saw it a couple of seconds after I did.

"It's going to wink out," I said, having no idea why I knew that.

"It doesn't look like it," Mr. N said.

"It will," I said.

As it headed east, it began to dim when it suddenly stopped then winked out. Then we saw a very faint line that headed due north before disappearing. It appeared as though the object stopped, changed course and headed out of our atmosphere. Fascinating!

I felt this strange affinity for it--a connection that came from within me. It was rather odd. Time travelers? Our species in the future? Some race of beings I've once been a part of? I don't know. I just felt a longing, a connection, something I've never felt before when seeing such objects in the sky. Mr N went inside after it disappeared. I stayed outside and wept.

So much there is yet to know, so little I know of it, the longing to know more so strong.


They're mine so no plagiarizing. Coming soon to a bumper sticker near you.

Need to get a life? You can have mine.

I suffer from ADD. Adults with Dirty Dishes.

Pro Wrestling. Proof evolution is a lie.

Find myself? I'm still trying to find Waldo.

Life is like a gift. Sometimes you get that perfect toy. Sometimes you get socks.


Scientists Say Virus To Blame For High Blood Pressure

Make way for yet another vaccine. Some more to the dark side of science.

"CHICAGO (Reuters) - A common virus may be a major cause of high blood pressure, researchers said on Thursday in a finding that may bring new approach to treating a condition that affects an estimated 1 billion people worldwide. Based on a series of studies in mice, they said cytomegalovirus or CMV -- a herpes virus that affects some 60 to 99 percent of adults globally -- appears to increase inflammation in blood vessels, causing high blood pressure...the research offers the first direct proof that the virus causes persistent infection in blood vessels. Doctors typically use generic drugs such as beta blockers and ACE inhibitors to control blood pressure, a condition that affects one in every three adults in the United States...the study suggests vaccines and antiviral drugs may offer a new approach at treating hypertension."

Uh huh. And when I pass gass, gold comes out my behind.


How about we bail ship on the insanity train we've all living under. How about we find new means of living. How about we wake up to our enslavement. How about we see how we're told who we are, what we are to think/believe/eat/say/do. How about we grow and consume food that is only organic and gmo-free. How about we learn what true freedom is, embrace it for all then demand our leaders do the same.

This is just a short list, but oh so necessary to incorporate if we are to stop this madness guised as "science".

Scientists To Insert Vaccines Into GMO Corn

The dark side of science.

AMES, IOWA — Iowa State University researchers are putting flu vaccines into the genetic makeup of corn, which may someday allow pigs and humans to get a flu vaccination simply by eating corn or corn products.

"We're trying to figure out which genes from the swine influenza virus to incorporate into corn so those genes, when expressed, would produce protein," said Hank Harris, professor in animal science and one of the researchers on the project. "When the pig consumes that corn, it would serve as a vaccine."

When I first saw this headline, I thought "The Onion". You know, a joke. But then I realized it's factual, I was at a loss for words. How sick and disturbed are these scientists? Don't they understand the concept of freedom? Doesn't it enter their consciousness in any fashion how deplorably unethical it is to submit a population to vaccinations without their knowledge?

Oh that's right, they don't question such things. They're not allowed to. Every ounce of the questioning ethical philosopher has been educated right out of them.


Deceased Relatives and Dream Visitations

Have you ever had a dream where a deceased relative (or friend, animal companion, etc.) visited you? I've had many throughout my life. Tonight, I recalled one I had last year, where my grandpa visited me. At the time, I had been experiencing a bothersome emotional state, where I realized I was angry with my grandpa for his part in raising my mother to dismiss "negative" emotional states. My mom's great when you're happy. But sad, angry, depressed and other such "negative" states? Forget it. This has made it difficult to bond with her, difficult to share certain experiences, difficult at times to even trust her. In trying to forgive my mother, I took a look at her childhood in an attempt to figure out where she learned this in order that I may empathize through this understanding. In my search, I realized it was largely due to her parents. Well, being my grandmother is still alive and is not the type to discuss such things, I decided to do some cosmic venting to my grandpa who died when I was a teenager. I yelled out to him: "I'm so angry with you for not showing mom that it's OK to be angry or sad or upset or depressed or afraid! This had a real effect on me, causing me a lot of unnecessary pain!" I really let myself go with the feelings I was experiencing. After this little bit of cosmic venting, I let it go.

A few weeks later, I had the dream. I was in a barn, up in the rafters. Grandpa was a farmer during much of his early adult life, so a barn seemed to be a good setting. I recall thinking "this is weird. I've never visited a barn in my dreamstate before!" Not knowing what to expect, I simply sat still, waiting, until I looked up and there was grandpa, in one of his typical dress attire's I had seen him in as a child: work pants and a heavy flannel shirt. He was carrying a rake, which he put down as he stopped in front of me. I looked at him with excitement and smiled. I always love seeing him in my dreams. I've missed him very much since his death some 25 years ago. I was going to say something but he spoke first.

"I'm so sorry honey. I should have done better. I could have done better. I'm so sorry what I did caused you pain!" He looked me in the eyes as he spoke. A single tear ran down his cheek. Well, at that, I burst into tears and we embraced.

"It's ok grandpa. It's really ok. I understand. I'm sorry I got so angry with you!" I said.

Forgiveness is a beautiful experience, the ultimate healer, no matter what state of mind one is in.

We held each other for, well, what seemed to be a long time in dreamland. He then pulled away, looked at me and smiled. It was then that I woke up, a sharp feeling of pain and longing in my heart, my eyes still wet from having cried. My tears, obviously shed in this dimension as well.

I miss you, grampy.

Obama and Ongoing War. But Where Are The Protests?

I've been wondering this myself. Reading some of the leftist blogs, where's this outrage over the Obama Administration's military policies? Bush retired amidst a lot of well-deserved rage and questioning, and yet Obama steps in, continues on with the same damn military agenda, and the rage suddenly disappears. WTF?

Here's similar sentiment from David Icke, who gives a good explanation as to why.



Obama is not only Mr. [fake] Change, Mr. [fake] Hope and Mr. [fake] Yes-We-Can; he’s also Mr. Untouchable. Most of the anti-war ‘left’ bought the Obama propaganda down to the smallest syllable and they are either getting deeply embarrassed by now or resorting to cognitive dissonance to kid themselves they were right.

Cognitive dissonance is that filter in the head that explains away contradictions to confirm the original belief. It’s a powerful form of lying to yourself, so powerful, in fact, that you don’t know you are doing it. ‘We must take our freedoms away to protect our liberties’ is a classic example of cognitive dissonance in action.

The effect of this can be seen in a report by the Huffington Post:

‘Obama's presidency has not only complicated the anti-war message, but has also made it more difficult to turn out the large numbers that the movement enjoyed during the latter Bush years. Over the weekend, Code Pink held their annual 24-hour Mother's Day Vigil for Peace in Lafayette Park across from the White House. It was the first time since 2006 that they asked people from outside the Washington area to attend. Just over a hundred people showed up to the event according to organizers, a stark contrast to the thousands that Code Pink enjoyed in 2006.’

Most of the left have convinced themselves that Obama is anti-war, a man of peace, and so there is no need for the campaigns of protest that we saw under Bush. But this is patent nonsense. Obama is not ‘anti-war’ at all.This myth comes from a speech he apparently made opposing the invasion of Iraq in 2002, although, as with everything surrounding Obama, the spin is at odds with the substance. The very opening line of that speech said: ‘Let me begin by saying that although this has been billed as an anti-war rally, I stand before you as someone who is not opposed to war in all circumstances’.

Clearly, because his very first act in office was to sanction US bombing raids in Pakistan and you are going to see him (his masters through him) increase American military action in that country that will kill and maim still more civilians. And look at Afghanistan. By the end of this year the United States will have more than 68,000 troops deployed there – around double the number at the end of the Bush presidency.


Go To College. Graduate. Work For Minimum Wage.

I've been telling dipshit employer's like this one to "stick it" since graduating many moons ago. I certainly didn't intend to bust my ass for four years only to graduate and be told "it's minimum wage for you sweetie". I worked minimum wage jobs to pay my way through college in order that once I graduated, I would no longer have to do so.

My, how I was fooled as are so many of us.

Mom Uses Child As Shield From Taser

Mom and cop both belong behind bars. Mom for doing something so outrageous, cop for using a taser in the presense of a child. (Ok for using a taser to begin with.)

Brats On The Grill, Gun In The Holster

Interesting concept for a public picnic. Don't know if I'd want to attend 'lest I knew everyone that was going. Hopefully no beer will be served.


Life can be ever so tiring when one is a dog. With all of that ball playing, eating, chasing after squirrels, playing with stuffed animals, munching on cookies, etc. etc. etc....


This is Shilo and her doggie friend Doja from next door after spending some quality ball-playing time together.

MSM and Corporate America's Financial Advice: Pure Unadulterated Bullshit

There are many things with which I am fed up, one being this blathering insanity of pitching financial advice coming from the mouths of lamestream media and their corporate dark lords. All of this talk about "how to save in our new economy", yet there's nothing about the truth:

*declining wages
*grossly inflated cost of housing (which yes still does exist in many areas)
*ridiculous expense of health care and it's criminal partner health insurance
*ever-rising cost of food and energy

Put the blame on the victims. Typical system spin.

I'm fucking sick of getting this financial advice crap in my e-mail box from my bank, the evil doers who have raped and stolen from every one of us claiming THEY own the land while they haven't done a damn fucking thing to work the land, only to sit on their fat greedy, gluttonous asses in overly-done offices pushing around invisible money on paper and on a computer screen while claiming lordship over "who owns what".

These assholes really think I look to myself only as to my financial conditions???

I don't. And neither need you. Money has become even more difficult to come by and not because of anything you have done. It is a luxury because of what the banks have done and what the government's and heads of state have allowed these crooks to do.

And a big SHAME ON YOU to those wearing the journalist title. You're a dismal failure to every one of us who have ever counted on you to, you know, DO YOUR JOB. There are some good ones to be found though, interestingly enough called the "alternative" media. They continue to gain in attention, thankfully, as the masses start to awaken to their anger, awaken to new possibilities and awaken to how they've been duped since birth.


Hillary For President: Musings For A Monday

It's Tuesday of course, but these things happened yesterday. I of course would shudder to think of the idea of Hillary as President, so those aren't my words. They are the words of a very interesting young man who visited us yesterday. He comes by every year about this time representing an organization focused on world peace. We always have very interesting, fascinating conversations, ranging from aliens, dream travel, past lives to current events. He always speaks French to me, seemingly insisting I had a past life where I was French. I just stare at him blankly, smiling, and say "nope, nothing's registering". Although I gotta admit--the idea is appealing given I've always found French to be a most romantic, lovely language.

Given his reason for our visit, the talk soon turned to the political. He said that while he was excited Hillary was nominated for Sec. of State, he really wanted her to be president. I smiled and shook my head as I filled out one of his forms. He said something like "You didn't vote for her in the general election?" And I said "No." Ah, then I voted for Obama in the Primary. Again, I said, "No." He gave me a perplexed look, so I said "Democrat, Republican, it doesn't matter. They all answer to the same handlers." He nodded. I asked him if he was familiar with groups like The Bilderberger, the Council on Foreign Relations. Was he familiar with the concept of a new world order. The illuminati. He again nodded. I said if you really dove in and learned about those groups, you wouldn't have voted for Hillary. Or Obama.

And besides, all one needs to do is look at the large list of people once affiliated with the Clinton's who died "mysterious" deaths or committed "suicide", often after they were to share information about the Clinton's activities to others, to stop and ponder. Hmmm....

I know this--this guy is very well-intentioned with a very peaceful nature. He's been all over the world trying to work with world leader's to at least agree to one day where we recognize peace and I really admire him for this. At the time of our conversation, I said, when showed a letter from the President of Israel showing interest in the idea, "When Peres stops slaughtering Palestinian's, then I'll believe him." Words are easy to toss around. Action is where the truth lies in ones intentions. Anyway, our visitor agreed and yet said change must start with one step. Baby steps. At the moment, I agreed.

However, upon waking up, I thought of the people of Palestine. Try telling them the war will end--eventually. But first we must take baby steps. Perhaps hundreds if not thousands of them. Think that answer will be ok with them?

No, what we need are HUGE steps NOW. And not just in Palestine but all over the globe. Fuck this "do it slowly one step at a time" crap. And really, fuck trying to work with these leaders who want this violence to begin with in order that they may appease those creating the agenda for control.

War certainly doesn't always start in little baby steps. It often starts with massive movement and change and destruction--certainly to the innocent victims. Human's are capable of taking huge steps creating massive changes at a moment's notice. The potential is there, it's just a matter of changing such steps from the destructive to the helpful. We gotta break past this "baby step" lie we have told ourselves for far too long. It's all a choice. Just as one can pick up a weapon and use it, one can put it down and say "no" to the agenda of another/other's, to the killing of another that other's have said need to die because of x y and z reasons. Easy? Often not. Doable? You betcha.

Another lie we gotta stop telling ourselves--that Hillary Clinton would be a good choice for President.


Employment: Why Big Cities Aren't Better

Besides the fact that I am in no way shape or form a city person never have been never will be having lived in Portland and Seattle and now living in a small city of 55,000 where I have come to know this is still much too big and crowded and downright insane for my needs (deep breath), I've still had to endure the comments from others "Move to Portland. More jobs."

Ah, yes. On paper there are more jobs. However, some things need to be taken into consideration. One, the unemployment figure and two, how many jobs are available per person. So I decided to look into this. A move to Portland doesn't necessarily increase the chances of finding employment. To begin with, Portland's unemployment rate currently sits at 12.1% (figures as of April 1st) whereas Corvallis' rate is 8.4%. A glance at the state employment department website's list of available jobs shows that for the entire Portland metro-area, the number of jobs per capita is .0005 (dividing the number of jobs available by the approximate number of citizens, which I gave a modest estimate of 3 million). The same calculations show that for Corvallis, the number of jobs per capita is .0012. I also calculated the competition deal. 12% unemployment for 3 million people is 360,000 folks out of work. Corvallis, just 4620. So, more jobs does not necessarily increase the chances.

Personally, I think the way of the City is going to have to come to some sort of an end. City living isn't healthy. Traffic congestion. Crowds. Noise. That doesn't feed the soul or the spirit. It robs it, smothers it, pollutes it. I truly believe small communities (of 5,000 people or less) are the way of the future. Not to offend city dwellers, I just believe the way to peace must enact balance and responsibility and must include the needs of the soul and human spirit, which means we put an end to explosive growth, unnecessary building (which much is unnecessary today--afterall, how many box stores and shopping malls do people need), wasteful time spent in traffic listening to noise pollution (stereo's, honking, loud engines) and inhaling the pollution as well as all of the unnecessary businesses (banks, cpa's, real estate, investment firms which means the end of the system of money) and replacing it all with a system where people find their long-forgotten passions and pursue those. At least that's the kind of community I wish to be a part of. And moving to some damn noisy, congested city packed full of people often leaving one feeling more detached and lonely than one would feel sitting under a forrest of trees in the middle of nowhere, is not going to help me in that pursuit.


A Busy Weekend

A busy weekend. Wonderful sunshine. And sunburns. Bbq's. And ballplaying with dog. Garage sales. And lots of socializing with neighbors. Yardwork both days (both our yard and neighbors yard). And lots of time spent with the young niece of my next door neighbor's. This after we decided to spend the weekend reading only.

I was so tired, I forgot to take off my flip flops before showering earlier this evening. Noticed that in time. However, I also forgot to take off my glasses which I did not notice until after I got out. Didn't even notice I could see better. Didn't even notice the spots of water in front of my eyes. Noticed after I put my towel to my face and wondered "the what..."

I want to blame these blunders on the sunshine, but I think it's more accurate to blame them on being out of shape...


Random Thoughts On Current Day Stupidities

What the hell is up with this Miss California crap? Suddenly she goes from saying "No offense but I believe marriage should be between a man and a woman" yet then launches off on this public service campaign spouting the same message? She goes from a champion of the disabled to a champion of the homophobes?

Woops. That wasn't nice of me.

I know, I know. Support her right to say whatever she wants, no matter how ridiculous I think it is. However, I draw the line on her working to ensure gays and lesbians never have the right to marry. It's bullshit. It goes against not only the constitution of this nation but against the principles of F R E E D O M.

Speak all you want, sister. But STFU about forcing your beliefs onto others through laws restricting behavior. And to others like her, again, share your beliefs all you want, but STFU about putting YOUR beliefs into LAW or ensuring your beliefs keep current law in effect.

She claims she lost because of her comment. Bullshit. She lost because she was inarticulate not to mention completely lacking in her understanding of marriage laws whereby she, for the moment, thought America is a place where gays and lesbians are free to marry.

Thank god she has no plans to become a lawyer.

Now here's one you may not have heard. A gun-packing grandma took on some young adults who were being very aggressive and reckless in their driving. According to the young people, whoever was driving grandma's car (grandma was the passenger) was not obeying the speed limit. We've all experienced this frustration. People driving too slow (according to our own belief of what is too slow). However, sometimes we allow road rage to take over, causing us to do such helpful things like flipping off the driver, speeding up then slowing down, tailgating, getting in front of the driver then putting on the brakes, or driving by and giving the "what the hell is your problem" gesture with our arms. The young adults in the other vehicle did most of these things. That is until grandma, who given the phone call she made to 911 was very afraid, pulled out her glock and showed it to them. You can guess what happened. The young people (probably after wetting themselves) backed off.

Lessons learned. Be courteous and patient out on the roadways. And don't assume you can mess with grandma. You never know what she may be carrying in that glove compartment.

Lots of (long-needed) talk about legalizing weed to bring in much needed revenue in the State of California. This is leading to other talk about ending prohibition, which has done nothing but put innocent and nonviolent people in jail, costing tax payers billions of wasted dollars, not done a THING to stop the growing and consumption rates not to mention it's a complete violation of freedom for uncle sam or anyone for that matter to tell us what we can or cannot put into our bodies. Obama kind of shrugged off the question when asked, stating there are other things that can be more useful in helping to fix the economy.

Like what? Bailing out the banks? The auto industry? Yes, those have been brilliant ideas.

Legalize the damn plant already.

Speaking of Obama, that redhead from The View, Joy what's her name, claims Obama is doing a fantastic job.

(Hello, this is Nina's editor. Nina was last seen getting on a plane to Los Angeles where she planned on kicking Joy in the ass in order that she and all others like her may rethink her/their opinion of Mr. Sellout.)

Star Trek's Utopia: Peace On Earth

Possible? Absolutely!

"'...the main hurdle to peace is bad government, some scientists say. "A better world, if it comes into being, depends not so much on technological fixes as on breaking down centers of power so that we can all play a significant role in deciding matters that affect our daily lives," Fox told SPACE.com. Pilisuk agrees. "If there is a common enemy around which humanity can unite, it is the institutions that protect privilege for an elite network with extraordinary power and minimal accountability," Pilisuk wrote in an e-mail. "At present, hopes for peace look most promising in the decentralized myriad of creative local actions of people wanting leaders to respond to their true needs."'

It isn't rocket science.

A peaceful world is one where we aren't focused on countries.

A peaceful world is one where government's primary focus is always, always, always on the people it is elected to serve and represent.

And, most importantly, a peaceful world is one that is focused on human needs. Not power. Not money. But on real human needs. (Not wants, but needs. Took me while to understand the difference.) No one likes to be told how to live. We all desire freedom (and none of us have it in its purest form), which is the right to be whoever we choose, live as we want, think as we wish, eat what we want, in a nutshell, do whatever we want without restriction, without punishment, as long as we're not imposing our will on others. As I've said for many moons now, freedom does not mean being free from being offended.

Freedom. It's a tricky, uncomfortable issue, one I'm still learning of. But oh so necessary to live out that Star Trek Utopia of a peaceful world.


Corvallis Housing Market About Ready To Wake Up To Reality?

Oh god, we can only hope.

For months now, I've been noticing a trend on craigslist. Homes for rent and for sale sitting empty, month after month, being readvertised repeatedly. It's as though property owners in this area think they can escape the economic collapse. I've got news for them: You can't.

Think it's shaky now? Wait until HP leaves town.

I've noticed homes for sale by big real estate firms only to be switched to those FSBO signs. I've seen homes with for sale signs only to switch to the for rent signs.

I've seen homes for rent for ridiculous amounts, even miles outside of town. Month after month they remain vacant. A couple of times I've tried speaking with such folks, saying hey we'll give you X amount for a year. Nope. They won't budge. They'd rather hold on to their greedy little pipe dreams that Corvallis can escape the housing crash.

Catch a clue folks. Or let me toss one at you. Most (advertised) jobs in this area don't pay enough to cover a mortgage payment let alone rental on a single family home. This city chants the "sustainable" horn a lot and yet then it comes to money and housing, they bail out of their sustainable ship and land right back in the capitalistic/money-based yacht. And frankly, the idea of a "sustainable" system doesn't exist. No matter what the system is, eventually, either the system cannot support itself or the people realize it doesn't work for them. In short, sustainable does NOT equate to forever.

I'm not necessarily against making a profit (accepting the reality of this singular monetary based economy). But I am certainly bothered by all of this supposed enlightened sustainable speak in this community (and elsewhere) while home prices continue to be grossly inflated, while retail space continues to sit empty whilst new (often high end) retail sites are built, while homes continue to sit empty whilst we have homeless people on the streets and people leaving because they can no longer afford to live here, whilst business owners won't adopt a sliding scale fee and while "progressive label wearing" home owners suck as much of a profit out of their homes as they can, even if it means they only help perpetuate the very things of which they speak against.

Enough already. Let it all crash. At least then maybe we can drop the damn ego's we have wrapped around money, acknowledge our air of pretentiousness and self-entitlement, see the value in everybody, take a good hard look in the mirror at our own actions and set out to create something that works for everybody, even if this means the embracing of a variety of systems.


It Rained Today - Liquid Sunshine AND Puppies

One doesn't need to read the words on this blog to know I love dogs. The pictures alone express this love. Absolutely completely to the core of my being I simply love/adore/admire dogs. I always have. I always will. Hence, this little story...

I begrudgingly went out today with Mr. Nina to get some more garden supplies. Why begrudgingly? The weather was particularly nasty today. Cold. Very windy. Very wet. Plus, I gotta admit: I am a bit burned out with gardening--not with tending to it. With the shopping aspect of it. I've done quite a bit more researching/buying/planting since I first bored you to tears with my first entry a few weeks ago.

So as I said, it was wet. I opted not to take my umbrella. Unless I'm going for a walk, I don't take the umbrella much anymore. Maybe it's because I don't particularly care the way I once did about presenting myself to the world with wet/flat hair and smudged mascara. Today, I just took a jacket.

Well, considering we ended up standing outside at the local nursery in search of used garden pots of a particular variety, I soon realized I wish I had brought my umbrella. Plus I was wearing a rather blousy top (I know, what was I thinking???), which means once a few drops of water get on it, things show through the fabric. Ahem. Anyway, so I improvised by placing my jacket over my head, which meant I was pretty useless in picking out remaining garden pots, which didn't seem to please Mr. N. So, I made myself useful by getting the car and bringing it to the front of the store (which was preceeded with some under-the-breath comments tossed his way).

So he comes out, gets in the car. Asks why I didn't bring an umbrella. I'm getting wet. It's the northwest. Blah blah blah. I'm thinking "I should have stayed home." So we head to the next place. I almost stayed in the car, but instead opted to go inside. I still needed liquid fertilizer. I'm glad I did for I was greeted with the most fantastic enthusiasm by 3 dogs of varying ages and sizes.

The first to make it to me was a very intense, spastic, hyper, skinny little boston terrier mix puppy. If she could speak, her side of the conversation would have gone something like this "HI HI HI HI HI HI". And of course I fed her intense energy by cooing "hi baby! hi sweetie! oh yes aren't you the cutest little thing do you smell my puppy?" Once this little spaz machine's ADHD kicked in, whereby she zoomed off to explore something or someone else, I was slowly, sweetly greeted by the oldest of the clan, another female, border collie mix. This sweet, wise dear has been around the block once or twice, so she knew to let the little spaz get at me first. She'd simply be the lady in waiting, standing back quietly and patiently, waiting until the spaz machine got bored with me and decided to focus on something or someone else. Anything else. That moved.

She was correct.

Older dogs aren't into showing off or impressing as are the little puppies, so after a fairly brief greeting, she was off to lay down on her pillow.

So, I headed over to the fertilizer section and soon squatted down to look at the products on the bottom shelf. Suddenly, little spaz ball was there again, greeting me with the same enthusiasm, attacking me as though she had not just seen me a few moments prior. Again, if she could talk her side of the conversation would go something like this: "HI HI HI HI HI HI HI HI". Just when I thought this little dog couldn't possibly express anymore energy did she do the cutest thing: she suddenly laid both of her front paws on my thigh, then rested her little head on top of them.

One of those moments where you wished you or someone else had a camera. One of those moments you wish you could freeze in time for an hour. Or a year. My heart melted even further.

Then, quick as a flash, she was off again to check on something or someone else. So, laughing and shaking my head, I went back to looking at the ferts on the shelf. I was startled a moment or so later by the feel of a soft, wet nose under my wrist. I looked down and there was yet another dog. At this point I laughed. Was I at the humane society or a garden store?

This one was also female. Small with silky soft long white hair with black markings. Very gentle. That is until little spaz ball saw me with this other dog and proceeded to race over to us, skidding on the concrete floor, and barged in between the two of us whereby dog number 3 gave her a good "hey you've already had your time with this human now it's my turn kid" talking to.

After that, I got up and walked around some more. I watched the 3 of them interact together. Little spaz still learning who is the alpha female. She seemed to realize it is not going to be her, although that didn't stop her from trying.

What a treat this was for me. As I asked the owner, "Is it ok if I come back just to hang out with the dogs?" It was an experience for which was worth standing in the rain.


Are Our Aches and Pains Purely Physical Or Is There Something Else Going On?

I remember the first time I read about grief and sinus issues. "Clogged sinuses can often signify repressed grief," author Shatki Gawain informed her readers. It was one of those moments when something within me woke up, reached out from within my middle area and absorbed the knowledge as having some level of truth. While I also deal with a deviated septum (and I mean it is deviated--according to an ENT doctor I saw a couple of years ago, mine is the most extreme case he's ever seen--said he couldn't wait to operate on me when I have the insurance/means to do so), my sinuses have bothered me throughout much of my life, becoming more of an issue as my adult years have passed on by.

I recall the first time Shatki's theory was put to the test. I was in the middle of horrific sinus pain, something I had been dealing with a lot at the time. Usually I simply deal with pressure and dizziness. Physical sinus pain was something I had never dealt with until this period in time. (I'm kind of a freaky little thing of nature in this regard. I really don't get headaches. I don't even get brain freeze when eating ice cream. Instead, I get throat freeze. To this day I've yet to meet someone who experiences this as well.) The pain was so intense on this particular evening, I went back to the bedroom, shut the door, turned out the light and curled up in a fetal position on the bed. As I lay there, I thought of a family situation Mr. Nina and I were currently dealing with. It was causing us a lot of stress and emotional pain. About the only emotion I had been expressing at the time was anger. However, suddenly I was overcome with sadness and grief. Upon feeling these emotions, my nose suddenly felt as though it was on fire. I could feel this energy all around and inside my nose. As the tears fell, the energy lessened and suddenly, I realized, the pain was completely gone. I found as I let myself process the real emotions of this situation, my episodes of bizarre sinus pain lessened until they suddenly disappeared.

I've noticed frequently when I put my hands on another when doing energy work, I will pick up emotion on areas that are causing the person physical pain. Sometimes I get messages as well. I've never worked on someone I didn't know, so I don't know how open my intuition would be in such situations. I tend to believe that since I know someone and have an emotional investment in them, I am going to be more receptive, more empathic.

I recall working on a friend of mine. She had gone through a divorce and believed her male issues she was experiencing were the the result of her ex-husband. As I laid my hand on an area of her body where she has frequent pain (as well as a doctor confirmed "disease"--disease I put in quotes considering just about every issue is given the "disorder" or "disease" attachment which can send a powerful message to the mind, making healing more difficult), I started hearing the word "father". Her father had been an abusive alcoholic as was her ex, a very predictable pattern - repeating what's familiar. She claimed she was "over" all that and the only male she was angry with was her ex. Well, that was not what I was getting. That little tickle in my tummy began and turned into this sense of pressure to tell my friend "you have father issues you haven't dealt with. This isn't just about the ex." In fact, I knew it wasn't even close. I knew she would still carry around the old emotional baggage from her childhood until she realized it was ok to get angry at her dad. I told her what I picked up on and she simply sighed. I didn't ask how that felt for her at the time. I figured if she wanted to, she would tell me. Later on though I asked her if she had ever gotten angry with her father. No, she had not. She didn't feel it was necessary. When I tried to continue the conversation, she changed the subject and so I let it go. My friends pain issue is associated with the bladder and, according to what I've read, when one has bladder issues one is storing anger, usually intense anger. The seething kind. Quite literally, they are "pissed". I've found this to have some truth in it with my own health.

I love working on my husband. A couple of weeks ago we were on the couch. I was at one end, he was lying down with his legs crossed over my lap. One of his shins was hurting him and he asked me to put my hands on him. So I put my left hand on the one shin. (My left hand receives, my right gives. I've tried to change this, see if I can alternate, but so far, it's a no go. It is as it is.) Immediately and I mean immediately I was overcome with so much sadness my eyes welled up with tears. Just as I experienced this, my husband suddenly exclaimed, "Oh honey, you're moving something in my leg!" As I held my hand there, I said (now tears streaming down my face) "you still have memory from the burn stored here honey". (He received 2nd and 3rd degree burns on that part of his body as a child and as such, had skin grafts on his shins.) Moments later, the pain had subsided. Was it gone for good? No. Healing is a quite the mystery to me, although sometimes I get the impression most of our healing has to do with our own ability to detach and let go of the issue and the emotions. Form a new picture. Tell ourselves a new story about the event.

Repressed memories and the repressed emotions they carry have their own energy which gets stored within our physical bodies. In a nutshell, emotions are energy. When health care professionals say stress is the number one cause of disease, what they're primarily saying is "deal with your thoughts and emotions". Our bodies are always speaking to us in ways we probably aren't even aware of. Many of our physical pains are often the result of such repressed emotions. One thing I do now and then, a technique I learned from trauma expert Peter Levin, is to touch a particular part of my body then speak to it. Greet it hello. Thank it for all that it does. Send it love. It's a very powerful exercise and gets us in tune with our bodies. I often cry when doing so. It's as though my body is literally saying "THANK YOU FOR NOTICING ME".

It can be easy to forget out bodies. The body gives us pain, we want the pain to go away of course. Sometimes though we need to dig behind the pain and ask the body what it needs. Even those who make the effort to exercise the body can still do more by noticing, paying attention, offering appreciation. A good partner will show appreciation and offer physical touch to the other partner. It's just as important if not more important for us to do that to ourselves as well.


Pet Owners: Check Your Pet's Supplements. The Formula May Have Changed.

For the past few years, we've had our dog on Foster's and Smith's Lifestage vitamin supplements. A year or two ago, we switched her to their senior formula. It contained little extra's like alpha lipoic acid, milk thistle, lycopene and a few other nutritional ingredients not recognized as "essential" by the AAFCO. It also contained 75 mg of essential fatty acids, which is essential for our dog given her joint issues. (We've also had her on a joint formula since she was a pup that also contains a good supply of EFA's.) Every one of these nutritional elements have been shown to assist senior dogs with age-related issues such as memory and arthritis. Their former label even remarked as such.

Upon receiving our order yesterday, I noticed something: missing ingredients. Those little extra goodies were no longer included. Also troubling was the reduction of the EFA's from 75 mg. down to 11.2 mg. Equally as disturbing to me was realizing we were now receiving less ingredients at the same price. And there was nothing in their catalogs to indicate this change.

So I phoned them up, spoke with a CSR, was told a return call would be forthcoming w/in 24 hours. Didn't happen so I phoned up again and spoke with another CSR. Left another message. Today, one of the companies Veterinarians contacted me, which I appreciated. I explained the situation and asked what was going on. He informed me it was complicated in terms of "legalese", but essentially, they said there had been changes in federal law and they felt it best to remove these particular ingredients, which he said the AAFCO claimed had no nutritional value. I was a bit confused by what he told me and said "why can't you just include them and claim the AAFCO doesn't recognize these items like you did with your old label", to which he replied that again, it was complicated. The whole legalese thing.

I think I got the basic idea though: The AAFCO wouldn't endorse their products, at all, if they contain these more "alternative" ingredients.

When I pointed out we were paying the same price for fewer ingredients, all he could say was "yes". Or perhaps he said "uh huh". Basically all I received was a confirmation of yep we're screwin' ya! He said the milligram change wasn't that significant, to which I replied: "Changing the EFA content from 75 mg to 11.2 is quite significant when we're talking about a being the size of a dog." Again, all I received in that comment was another "uh huh".

So I'm to trust the AAFCO, this same group of folks that is allowing animal by-products into the pet food supply as well as other nasty toxic preservatives, corn, corn fillers, etc. etc. etc. Well, I learned that the AAFCO refers to itself as a "corporation", but it's board of directors is made up of government personnel (many of whom work for, surprise surprise, the Department of Agriculture). Business and government once again intermixing.

The AFFCO said it's ok cause WE said it's ok. Nothing to worry about little pet owner. We got your back.

Sure ya do. Just like the FDA, DEA, DHS, etc.

Well, despite appreciating the personal call from one of their vets, who was pleasant albeit it not too forthcoming with real information, the bottle is still sitting in a box awaiting a return shipping label, paid for at their expense, authorized by the very nice CSR who agreed with me that this felt like we had been deceived. It will be shipped back and I will no longer be giving Foster's and Smith my business.

So now I'm in search of a good senior dog supplement. I'm thinking of trying out Missing Link. Any recommendations?

Of course, all of this reeks of government intrustion into our personal lives. Uncle Sam has been chomping at the bit to take away our right to ingest whatever we want by wanting to further regulate the vitamin and nutritional supplement industry. In short, they want to push the pharmaceutical toxic shit and take away the more natural stuff.

Kind of like with this swine flu business. Here take this anti-viral drug that may not even work created by a pharmaceutical (pharma-who-gives-our-government-lots-of-money) and don't fall for the natural remedies of garlic, oil of oregano and other "straight from nature with minimal processing" products.

Keep it simple. Go natural and minimally processed whenever possible.