Orb in Photo?

Mr. N took this photo of me and baby-to-be last month. We're taking monthly photos to watch our growing baby and my expanding belly (doggie Shilo wants to be in the photos too). After uploading this one onto the computer, I noticed the bright circular object in the upper left-hand corner and immediately felt a chill. The next picture he took showed another circular object of the same size, not nearly as bright (quite faint actually) same height only it had moved a bit more to the right. Was this the spirit of our baby wanting to be in the picture, wanting to appear as something more than just a bump on mama's belly? I'm not totally convinced, but that is my hunch. I e-mailed the photo to a place that investigates orbs and haven't heard back yet.

What do you think?

A Peek Inside Being Pregnant in America

While I plan on putting this up at my other blog, I decided to post this here as well as it's a subject most aren't aware of unless they go through the experience directly or indirectly. As regular readers know, Mr. N and I are pregnant, expecting our first baby next spring. I thought the early stage symptoms of fatigue and nausea were stressful. Little did I know, dealing with the medical system was going to add its own stress.

From the start, we have been adamant in our decisions to not vaccinate the baby, to bypass genetic testing, to have a natural delivery and unless it is medically warranted, to forgo any medical intervention and very recently, to forgo any additional ultrasounds.

So far, while our decisions have been respected, our choices have not been met without a fight, without fear being put into our faces and with all of these supposed "studies". While they claim it's all about empowering ME, it's really about covering their asses (meaning they won't want me to sue them).

To begin with, these "studies" they cite have not been shown to me, despite my asking to see:
1) The actual results.
2) Who was behind the study.
3) Who performed the study.
4) Who funded the study.

Just this past week, we had a Doppler. For those not familiar with the procedure, it's a little hand held device that looks like a microphone attached to a Walkman. It sends sound waves into the womb, into the amniotic sac, to detect heart rate. Prior to this, we had had two ultrasounds.

With the first ultrasound, the baby was about the size of a pea, so movement was really not noticeable. However, with the second ultrasound, what began with the image of a calm little fetus, gently sucking, suddenly took an interesting change. After a few moments of sending the sound wave signals into my uterus, our calm little baby began to thrash violently. It kicked, punched and even flipped from its back to its side and back again. It caught me off guard.

"Is that normal?" I asked.

The midwife assured me that yes, it was indeed normal as they are quite active.

"Yes," I said, "But she seems to be bothered by the ultrasound."

Oh no need to worry. She hardly feels a thing. She's safe and protected in there.

Hardly feels a thing?

Wrong. I found studies (PLURAL) that claim otherwise. In one study, scientists mimicked the sound alone and determined that when ultrasound waves are passed into the womb, the sound decibel is equal to that of a subway train. That's a very loud sound to an adult. Imagine what that can do to a developing baby.

Not only is the sound terribly loud, but the heat coming from these ultrasound machines raises the heat in the amniotic sac and can damage to developing tissue. The FDA even issued this following warning in 2004: "Ultrasound is a form of energy -- and even at low levels, laboratory studies have found it can produce physical effects in tissue, such as jarring vibrations and a rise in temperature." (This despite their allowance of an 8 FOLD increase in power output, to which so far no tests have been done to test for any long-term adverse effects.)

Unfuckingbelievable. And yet, not really given this is western capitalism at work.

As any pregnant woman will tell you, we are warned by the VERY SAME MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS WHO GIVE US THESE ULTRASOUNDS against exposing ourselves to things that raise body temperature, such as sauna's and hot tubs. Even having a fever over 100 for any extended period of time is supposed to be brought down as soon as possible to avoid potentially harming the growing baby. Again, these very same medical "professionals" use ultrasound technology regularly throughout the pregnancy, particularly in the very critical, early stages of fetal development?

I N S A N E.

With this Doppler we had this past week (which I wasn't aware was along the lines of the same technology as ultrasounds), I noticed the same pattern as we experienced with the previous ultrasound. What began at first as nothing but a strong, solid, precious little heartbeat took a different turn. Again, within moments, we heard this "BAM BAM BAM" sound as though the baby were violently kicking.

"Oh isn't that cute? It sounds like she's hiccuping!" the midwife said.

"Hiccup?!" I said. "That sounded more like a kick to me." (And HELLO!? "CUTE"??? I don't THINK so.)

Well the kicking only continued for the next few moments so I said, "Enough! I don't think she likes this!" and pushed the thing away from me. Daddy to be and I discussed this on the way home and our parental instincts were both on the same page: She doesn't like these ultrasound procedures. We both overwhelmingly, strongly just KNEW and KNOW this.

So..no more ultrasounds or dopplers...

Which I relayed to my doctor's office the next day while also stating we would not be doing the 20 week ultrasound (which checks for abnormalities, not to mention it is an HOUR LONG PROCEDURE).

60 minutes of hell when our baby has made it clear after just a minute or two she does NOT like the crap coming out of these "advances in medical science". NO FUCKING WAY. (FMI see this link and this link on ultrasound technology and its risks. They're powerful articles and I was absolutely horrifed, as was Mr. N, after reading them. I can only pray that we haven't unknowingly harmed our baby through the god damn ignorance of medical "professionals". I am remaining positive that our little miracle is well and thriving. I don't often ask for prayers, but I am now. Any like-minded thoughts sent our baby's way is very much appreciated!)

Well, within an hour, the phone rang. It was the midwife who ordered the test. She just wanted to make sure I was making an "educated" decision. Yes we are. Question is, are you?

After making attempts to somehow "justify" our decision, I finally thought 'I don't need to justify SHIT to these people' so I said: "I'm done discussing this. Our decision is made." I thought the conversation was over. I was wrong.

The conversation quickly turned into me needing to be "open" to such testing if I haven't delivered by week 38 or 40. Apparently my chances of delivering a stillborn rise significantly if I go past this time given my "maternal age" (a term i am SO FUCKING SICK OF HEARING). Again, I asked for the stats and again, she didn't "know them off the top of " her head. So get them and present them to me, I said. She said she will. She did mention it is probably something like a jump from 1 in 1000 births to 3 in 1000 births. So, statistically that is a threefold jump even though the chances are so overwhelmingly significantly low. Yes, she agreed with that.

So then WHY FILL MY HEAD WITH SUCH FEARFUL SHIT?

(I decided to do my OWN research on the subject and found that yes, the jump, while being 2-3 times higher in women over 35, is still overwhelmingly small. In fact, you see the majority of this jump in more "deprived" areas where medical care isn't routine. So statistically, I have about the same chance of delivering a NORMAL HEALTHY baby without having to worry about the stillborn issue as ANY OTHER WOMEN UNDER 35.)

Again, all of this is to "educate" me.

Oh yeah? If you want to EDUCATE me, how about you PROVIDE ME THE PROOF of these studies? How about you PROVIDE ME THE SAME INFORMATION I FOUND OUT ABOUT THE ULTRASOUND TECHNOLOGY, INCLUDING SOME PROOF FROM OUR VERY OWN GOVERNMENT?

Then there's the whole vaccination debate. While we don't have to "worry" about that much with this particular clinic (we've found a pediatrician who is respectful of parent's decision to not vaccinate, which is a growing trend even in our neck of the woods--a relief for certain) in that the baby will only have just the one interaction w/them and that is at birth, we've still had to undergo questioning as well as their "opinions" on the matter. Hospital policy (aka standard procedure) says at birth, newborns will receive (unless parents say otherwise which believe you me we will!) the hepatitis b vaccination, along with an injection of vitamin k as well as an eye treatment of an antibiotic cream. We're saying no to all three, the last two ONLY being allowed if, again, it is medically warranted. (You find yourself saying that term a lot when you're a parent-to-be who thinks like us). The vitamin K injection is given in case (hospital speak for "cover our ass") the baby experiences injury/bleeding. Newborn baby bodies don't clot well during the first hours. I asked the midwife if the hospital provides the oral dosage of vitamin K, which after doing my own research, I learned was the best, most obvious, most effective means of providing this vitamin. Doing so in a shot in muscle tissue doesn't work well and has in fact been linked with newborn jaundice, a benign condition (a ridiculous term considering no babies have ever been asked "did this skin yellowing cause you any pain or discomfort?"). Midwife said "No, the hospital only injects it via a needle."

"Why?" I asked.

"That's just the way it's done."

"Yes," I continued. "But I read where oral injection is the most beneficial and doesn't have the risks or side-effects."

She couldn't disagree with me. FMI on Vitamin K injections, check out this link. I also learned that the first breastmilk provides an ample supply of vitamin K. Since I plan on starting to breasfeed immediately upon delivery, I think she will be ok. Think the midwife offered me this information? Nope. I had to inform her of my awareness of this. She confirmed this fact. Sigh.

Nature knows what she's doing, doesn't she? Miraculous and beautiful.

Then there's the hepatitis B vaccine insanity.

"Why on EARTH would we give our baby this vaccine when it is only caught through the sharing of bodily fluids, usually through sex and sharing of needles?" Mr. N boldly spoke up.

The midwife could only shake her head in agreement, but then went on to say the following rather haunting statement:

"Their idea is that they will catch everyone at birth when they're in the hospital setting and in that way, wipe out hepatitis B altogether."

Holy crap. "Catch" everyone? As though babies are cattle to these "they" folks. Oh wait, you and I are so why not babies, too?

I digress.

"But there has never been any solid evidence to show that vaccines of ANY kind actually work AT reducing or eliminating disease," I pointed out.

As a medical professional, she had nothing to say to that.

As far as the antibiotic eye-ointment, which is used, again "in case" of an eye infection which can happen as baby goes through the womb and comes in contact with my bodily fluid and bacteria. Ok, I thought, I can be open to that possibility occurring and need for such a cream. However, Mr. N and I once again used the magical term (drum roll please): Only if "medically warranted."

I swear to you all, we have spent MORE TIME talking about what COULD go wrong and defending our positions than we have about actually talking about what is going RIGHT. There has been next to no discussion about my health (which at this point is excellent), about my nutrition (very good), about exercise (I'm doing 45 minutes of prenatal yoga 3 days a week, plus walking and dancing, doing some hand weights and modified core training on my yoga ball on occasion). And...Not ONCE has anyone asked how I FEEL emotionally and mentally about being pregnant, delivery and being a mother. And my goodness there are a host of studies that show all of these factors are FAR MORE IMPORTANT than maternal age alone.

Thankfully I had the knowledge to know about doula's. We're interviewing our (potential) doula next week. She's from The Netherlands and gave birth to two of her children at home, without medical intervention. Talking with her over the phone, she said giving birth here in the States is a totally different experience than it is in The Netherlands (although sadly, she said that is changing as things become more corporate/westernized/fear-based). In dutchland, birth is viewed as it should be: A natural event. Fear isn't put into the minds of the birthing mothers as the people over there know this only adds to the stress mothers can experience. That was the one big difference, she said. Over here, pregnancy and delivery is to be feared. In The Netherlands, pregnancy and delivery is not something that is feared. Medical intervention is only used when, again, medically warranted. She sounds just awesome and just what I'm looking for. (And even my midwife said she is wonderful.) She will be my sounding board (along with Mr. N) during my delivery, when I will be completely immersed and absorbed in birthing this beautiful little baby I am carrying.

NY Judge Sticks It To A Bank By Wiping Out Couples Mortgage

A Judge with balls for sure. Maybe this be the beginning of a trend. May this set a precedent which will grant such dismissal to ALL struggling homeowners. Then once we clean up that mess we can focus on the millions of us who must rent simply due to greed and misguided values.

"Suffolk Judge Jeffrey Spinner erased $525,000 in mortgage payments that OneWest Bank was demanding from the couple. That includes $291,000 in principal and $235,000 in interest and penalties. The decision leaves the couple completely debt-free on their home. The Horoskis were only paying interest on their mortgage after falling behind due to health problems and a change in their interest rate, WABC said...Spinner slammed the bank's "harsh, repugnant, shocking and repulsive" acts and said the bank "must be appropriately sanctioned so as to deter it from imposing further mortifying abuse against [the couple],"..."

Did Ya Hear About...?

...the 40-something year-old woman from Ontario who died two days after receiving the H1N1 vaccination? And yet the headlines read "Ontario Woman Dies From Swine Flu".

Uh huh.

p.s. Don't forget to check out my new pregnancy blog (and leave a comment too if you want).

Pregnancy Blog Has Moved

Here's the link to my new/updated pregnancy blog. mamavictoria.wordpress.com The old one is being deleted upon posting this post.

I must say, I like wordpress better than blogger. But I'll still be keeping my musies and obsies up and going, while returning to my original username of Nina (ninja princess warrior).

Potpourri

Not much blogging lately. Focus has primarily been on this pregnancy deal, researching the normal things an expectant parent does plus seeking out other parents-to-be for support, laughter and the like. (If you haven't done so, check out my new pregnancy blog for exciting updates and humorous commentary. I'm thinking of moving it to another site so I can get this one back to Nina. I'm thinking wordpress and will post if/when I do.)

We had quite the experience with Qwest a couple of weeks ago. In a nutshell, we were lied to by the salesperson. We had signed up for a bundle deal on phone, cable television and high speed internet. It was a very good bargain, less than what we are currently paying. We were told there were absolutely no contracts, that all three services were month-to-month and we could cancel at anytime. When we asked about the cable, Direct TV (which we did not know was satellite--we don't pay attention to such things), we were never told it was Satellite TV. "This is cable television, right? That's what we have with Comcast and that's what I want to keep." I said. Yes, the sales clerk responded. We were assured there were no other fees hidden inside this great deal. After spending about 45 minutes on the phone working everything out, we spent much of the afternoon getting organized...gathering e-mail addresses, internet sites we visit. I composed an e-mail notifying people of our upcoming change of e-mail address.

Around 5pm, I noticed an e-mail from Direct TV. I opened it and read through it. First I was surprised to learn they're a Satellite provider. Next, I was additionally surprised to read of our TWO YEAR contract and $70 MONTHLY FEE (Qwest said it would be $34). There was also a list of extra little fees for equipment rental and the like.

WTF? I thought.

So we called Qwest and were informed that, yes indeedy, we were locked into a 2 year contract with Direct TV and that yes indeedy, their pricing information was correct. When we informed the CSR what we were told, he said "she was wrong".

So just as quickly as we thought we were getting a great deal, we canceled the entire package and thanked the CSR for allowing his company to waste our time.

Still not being totally satisfied, I decided to phone them up again and file a complaint. The gentleman I spoke with was profusely apologetic. He took the report and said it would be passed along to his Supervisor. However, he did nothing to attempt to rectify the situation. He made us no other offers, even after I said we would be going with their competitor.

So there you have it. Qwest sucks. They lie to their customers to get that sale. And when you're screwed over, they make no attempt at resolving the situation like. (And by the way, if you do decide to look into Qwest for one of their bundle packages, run like wild if you get hooked up with Stephanie from Idaho.)

***
We've had several near-misses with bicyclists lately in our town. There's this sense of aloofness (perhaps it's a bit of entitlement) some of these riders have. They don't think the rules of the road apply to them. They've run stop signs, causing us to slam on our brakes. They don't use hand signals (there's battery powered turn signals these folks can buy for a very reasonable price). They dart out in front of cars and they don't get right if they happen to be riding down the middle of the road, under the speed limit and you wish to pass. I'm tired of being flipped off when I point out their error (I'm pregnant and emotionally unpredictable. I may just get out of my vehicle and give one of these folks a good spanking.). Do they not care that, if they continue this behavior, they only increase their chances of getting hit? Is this what they want? Is it what they're looking for? The road belongs to us all and simply because you're on a bike does not mean you don't have to share it or follow the basic laws. These folks are as dangerous to road safety as are the folks who drive and talk on their cell phones. (I've already ranted about them enough on this blog so no need to do that now.)

***
There's a group of folks advocating for an end to homelessness in our community. Next week they're holding a meeting that I am thinking of attending. You see, I have an idea. It's practical and could be simple if only people would think outside of the box on this issue. (Most people in positions of power lack this skill.) My idea is to get the University's Sports Program, in particular the Football Program, to cough up a million dollars (or two) to buy some land and build a large apartment-style shelter. There would be room for garden space, including the space and ability to own some chickens, something the residents would be required to attend to (if physically able). I realize some who are homeless really do choose that life, based on who they are today as a result of their life experiences. But most don't want to have to figure out how to eat and where to sleep on a daily basis. The resources are already there to ensure no one has to ever ask themselves such questions. Instead of ripping up land to put up another unnecessary strip mall or build more of those tacky looking monstrous homes, let's instead use that land to provide for REAL human need, for those MOST in need. We can do it!

**
There is a real lack of authentic humor in today's media outlets. I'm so tired of sarcastic, crude behaviors disguised as humor that only really serve to insult. This is humor? Whenever one insults another in an attempt at being humorous, they lose me and only serve in making themselves look insecure. There is absolutely no humor to be found when someone is feeling ashamed, angry or in pain. Not saying I'm a prude as I enjoy some of the antics of south park-type humor on occasion (and in small doses). But that kind of humor has taken on a life of it's own whereby crude is now cool and authentic humor (along the lines of seinfeld, cosby and the like) is for sissies. Anybody can do crude. It doesn't take much talent. But to truly make someone laugh where no one gets harmed, now that's where real talent lies.

Olbermann and Matthews: One's A Hero. One's A Putz.

I happened to catch a couple of pieces on MSNBC the past week. I say "happened to" catch because I rarely watch mainstream media of any sort. Sometimes I channel surf just to see what's going on. Last week, during a brief evening surf, I stumbled upon a long, passionate rant by Keith Olbermann where, in a nutshell, he nailed not only what is fucked up about health care/health insurance but what is fucked up about this system: Simply because one makes more money than another does NOT entitle them to the rights of health care, housing, food, clothing, education and the like. As Olbermann so eloquently and truthfully stated (paraphrased): "What kind of a country do we want? This is America. We're supposed to help out and share with those in need. I want my tax dollars going to help out those in need. Just because I happen to have the privilege of making a very good income does not mean I am more deserving of having access to the best health care in the country." He shared a couple of personal stories related to health care. Each point he made was sincere and spot on. I hope he continues on with his mission.

Then there's the flip side. That idiot Chris Matthews. He had on a constitutional lawyer who has organized a group of 2nd Amendment supporters whose purpose is to ensure the government does not impose martial law, enforce concentration camps and to ensure that our freedom's and liberties are not stripped away from us. Matthews accused the guy of creating hysteria while conveniently bypassing the guy's legitimate questions then interrupting and engaging in his typical egotistical bully-speak. Clue to Matthews: This isn't hysteria. This is a group of individuals who know their rights and who care enough about this country and its inhabitants to ensure federalism doesn't further spread it's slimy fingers into our lives. The lawyer had weak arguments. I was even hollering out points of truth for this guy to help him out. It was a classic case of bully vs. wimp. The funniest of all though was when the lawyer pointed out the Patriot Act and how that has ripped apart parts of our Constitution. Matthews response was to stumble for a bit before saying (paraphased): "Well yeah but that is currently being discussed in Congress to see if changes need to be made." Such a brilliant man. Sure. Trust the same idiots who passed this bogus piece of legislation to "discuss" it and make necessary changes. Right. Uh huh. Too many stage lights shinin' on Matthews fryin' his puppet brain.

Not that Olbermann isn't clueless himself in his own way. He doesn't see the real agenda behind the scenes. He thinks pro-gun groups are right wing nuts. He thinks any discussion of concentration or FEMA camps is hysteria. He would read through this blog and similar others and quickly assign the label "right wing" whilst totally bypassing all of my very otherwise "socialistic" ideas. It's really impossible to put a label on me you see, and those still asleep behind the wheel simply cannot stand not being able to label someone. It makes it that much easier for a person to keep stuck in their own mind thought and opinions.

New Blog Link

Here's the link to my new blog. The title alone tells you what's been going on and why I haven't posted much. It likely won't suit the interests of current blog readers, but if you know of anyone who may be interested, could you please pass it along? I'm looking to expand it and, hopefully, make some sort of an income out of it! I don't know how much I will be posting here at this point given how my focused has changed. So for the interim, political and social musings will likely be on hold. That is lest I find some (social/political) situation that relates to my current "condition" that I decide to muse about... : )

Free From Facebook!!

After weeks of contemplating, I finally canceled my F/B page. Overall, I found the experience to be a waste of time where I felt I was at some pretentious cocktail party. I'm not into cocktail type talk, certainly not with people who aren't in my real world experiences. I want to know what people THINK and FEEL. I want REAL exchanges, not p/c crap. I was hoping to reconnect with certain people but I found out that was just not going to happen. Sometimes you just can't go home. But that's ok. Home just takes on a new meaning.

In addition, I realized how crazy it was to give out my full name to the world whilst sharing personal beliefs that are contrary to the way things are. May as well walk around with a bullseye on my head saying "Here I am!" F/B is also full of bugs and cookies and other nasty things geared to slowing down your computer. You really want to be monitored? Sign up with F/B. Since signing up, my computer suddenly became quite slow. It also took me 20 minutes to deactivate my account. That's how controlling F/B is. I kept getting a page error warning. Likely they do this to everyone who wishes to cancel, figuring most will simply give up and give in, keeping their account open.

Of course, it is impossible to fully cancel your account. All you do is deactivate it. All I have to do is sign back in and it will all come back up for the world to see. That is so utterly invasive. If I had known this, I never would have signed up to begin with.

I'm on to other things. A new blog is being created, which I will link here shortly. In the meantime, cheers and peace!

TGIF. Not Really.

In the midst of this hellhole called third dimensional living, the truth is we're all alone.

Not that anyone really cares what I think. (Yeah, I know--passive-aggressive behavior. Today, simply do not care.)

I want to throw in the towel. Give up. I have no close family connections. Given up on that one. I feel old and tired. I have to push myself to even WANT to get out of bed. Most mornings I awaken, only to sigh. Damn planet is still here and I on it. For 20 years I've searched for my purpose. I've done the self-help stuff. Done the affirmations and the visualizations. Made the vision boards. Done the journaling. In short, I've done the work. And this is the result?

Maybe the whole "what is my purpose" concept is nothing more than a distraction. I have some acquaintances. I've learned it's next to impossible to really make friends once you're into your adult years. Most people I know are friends with their siblings or family or friends from their younger years. Or else they aren't really wanting a friendship or don't have the time or energy to expand their current circle. Or else they move.

Yes, I am creating quite the pity party for myself. But as I said above, I simply don't care. It is at it is. I feel as I feel. I don't feel like I own my life. Hell, I don't even know who I am anymore or what I really want. When I think about that, all I get is "I want a million dollars". Seriously. That's what comes to me.

I've searched out avenues for help and support and gotten burned as a result. I know people whose lives have been simple(r) or full of support don't get this. In fact, I can bet any such person would have already stopped reading by now. Who wants to see a person suffering and actually do something?

I need a hole to crawl into.

And an angel would be nice, too.

"Expert" Says To Land A Job One Must Engage In A Massive Campaign Of Massive Effort To Land Massive Interviews In The Hopes Of (Perhaps) Landing A Job

I could only shake my head as I listened to this dude on television tell the long-term unemployed they aren't doing enough. "You've got to engage in a massive job seeking campaign. You must take massive action in today's market. Massive interviews. Anything less will not suffice."

If that doesn't make you want to smack the blowhard (for at the very least supporting the current system without saying "hey wait a minute this situation is totally fucked..."), then this one will. His second piece of advice was to go into an interview and tell the employer exactly, in explicit detail, what and how you will do for them as the best employee. Not only that, what and how you will do such and such NOW. Today. This second. You must be willing to totally commit yourself 150% to the employer's bottom line.

This is nothing more than "how to continue to sell your soul and continue the work-for-a-living slave system" rhetoric.

The audience, of course, was full of pompous-looking system-blind folks who could only shake their heads in agreement while the unemployed folks cast their eyes downward as though in shame. Yep. Haven't busted my ass enough. Haven't quite yet sold my soul or exhausted myself to the point of hospitalization. Just not doing enough apparently.

What's next? Offering to work for free for 6 months?

(Oh wait, that's already been given as advice.)

More Reasons To Rethink The Monetary System

For many moons now, as I have watched Relationship "Expert's" (loosely defined term) on television discuss money and how it is notoriously listed as being the number one cause of stress in relationships, I cannot help but think "Why do we continue to teach people how to deal with this stress? Why not just eliminate the stress altogether?"

It isn't as though money is really needed. As it is today, it is. But as I always say: "Things do not need to be this way." That is one quote that truly sums up who I am. Accepting of reality, but when reality sucks, looking for ways to create something different.

Today I've seen all sorts of segments on "Recession-Proof Your Marriage." Give me a fucking break. No one is immune from the current unfolding fiasco taking place. NO ONE. To say one can "recession-proof (not to mention the truth is we're in a depression) their marriage" is every bit as ridiculous as stating:

"How to avoid being laid off"
"How to stop your job from going to India"
"How to ensure your health insurance company doesn't increase your premiums by another 30%"
"How to ensure your health insurance company doesn't decide to drop you because you're considered a high risk customer."
On and on and on.

And of course these pompous windbags typically have on the easy fixes. People who make close to $100,000 a year and up and who live in a 4,000 square foot home they bought for over half a million dollars. They also have 25 credit cards which they have used to buy totally unnecessary things like lavish cars, boats, 25 pairs of designer jeans for their teenage daughter and now they are whining "helllllllllppppppp meeeeeeee". Etc. etc. etc. They're suffering?

Please.

Not once have I seen someone who has lived within their means but simply cannot keep up with the increased cost of living. I have yet to see a family whereby one or both of the adults in the household lost their job(s) and they were already living very modestly and simply. Or what about the family where the health insurance was lost and they are now bankrupt due to a health issue. Such pompous windbags don't really want to deal with people like that. Too difficult. It's much simpler to deal with irresponsible idiots who really do have solutions so blaringingly obvious, the drunk on the corner could counsel them.

But back to my point. The best things in life are free. A nice sentiment. But of course full of shit when you think of the people who aren't ABLE to enjoy these "best things" when their entire life is revolved around making money to ensure basic survival. Yes, money is the biggest source of stress in our lives. We get that, oh holier than thou windbags. So how about this. Instead of tooting your horn of "DUH NO SHIT" level of advice (while you see another cool million pass into your lap for dishing out such obvious stupidity), you really dig deep and put your mind to real use. Get real yourself. Start questioning the very existance of money. Begin to think outside of the box (And oh god have I heard that phrase tossed about by these windbags. "Gotta think outside the box here folks."). Present new ways of living. New ways that would make the lives of your clients much more conducive to mental, emotional and physical health.

You're in a position of power. Start using it wisely lest you wish to be drug through the mud on blogs such as mine. You may be fooling your blind, naive followers. But you aren't fooling me.

Actual Job Advertisement

I found this on our local job bulletin board. It gave me a good laugh.

***
FEED HORSES AM and PM, and water/clean stalls/paddocks every other day. Interview and then Start Immediately! Have a very, VERY DEPENDABLE VEHICLE, live close by, and be able to feed 2 TIMES per DAY, EVERY DAY, in the morning and again, [about 12 hours later], in the late afternoon/early evening!!! AM feedings are needed to be done sometimes around approximately 6-8 AM, [give or take], and also, again, sometimes at around approximately 5-8 PM. THIS IS A SPLIT SHIFT! Drive there in the AM and then Drive there AGAIN in the PM!!! Averages about 1+ hours of ACTUAL work per day,

[ok, so far sounds fairly kosher, correct? the "hmmm" factor follows]:

but it is hardly worth it when you figure in your TRAVEL TIME and GASOLINE!

***
Ok, so explain to me why I should apply?

Wonderful Website Portraying The Homeless

Please check out this most excellent, authentic and moving website. Invisiblepeople.tv Here you will read about and watch the stories of just a sampling of individuals and families without permanent shelter. There are no news pundits to cut the people off lest they become too emotional or their stories, too difficult to hear. The man behind this project, Mark (haven't been able to find out his last name on the website) was once homeless himself 14 years ago, living on Hollywood Blvd. He's made it his mission to to bring this subject out into the open, uncensored. Even though the project is, in part, financially sponsored by the Ford Motor Company (according to what I heard on one of the media outlets), I'm grateful to this man and grateful this is available for all to view at their leisure. As my teeny tiny little handful of regular readers know, this is an issue that I am very passionate about. Home ownership to me is a fundamental human right. Some day, at some point in the (hopefully) very near future, humanity as a whole and the system itself will embrace this concept. As the website says: "Our hope is you will get mad enough to do something." Coupled with compassion and persistance, we can.

Keith Olbermann: The Sellout

For awhile there, when Bush was in office, Keith asked some very direct questions of that administration's policies. But now that Obama is in office, and things have (supposedly :::ahem:::) switched back to the left, Olbermann's gone soft. Last night he spoke briefly about the "nuts" in Phoenix who showed up to an Obama Health Care Rally carrying guns. Apparently Keith doesn't realize they were exercising their rights. Does he not support the constitution or states rights or the citizens rights to exercise these rights? Apparently Keith failed to read some of their comments, which basically boiled down to this: We are making a statement. If you don't exercise your rights and fight for them, you lose them. And lest you be asleep, we've been losing our rights as provided by our Constitution over the years.

Keith then went on to say these "nuts" believe the gov't had some sort of a hand in or knowledge of the events of 9/11. Apparently Keith's journalism schooling of asking the tough questions, where he was pretty successful at asking during the previous administration, has gone out the window now that we have a Democrat in office. Apparently Keith doesn't understand much about physics. Should he have to? Well, I didn't take any college courses in physics, but I do question things around me and came to the conclusion that official versions of 9/11 are full of lies.

I would ask Keith if buildings on fire collapse in the manner they did that awful day.

I would ask Keith how passports survive such a blazing inferno.

I would ask Keith how many buildings collapsed and as such, how is this number possible with just 2 planes.

I would ask Keith where is the video footage of the plane flying into the Pentagon. The media showed over and over and over again the plane(s) flying into the WTC. What's up with the complete lack of coverage for the Pentagon?

Keith went on to lump them into the right-wing extremist militia movement (who actually have some good points to make if only people would actually remove their attachments to their prospective political labels and listen to them).

The days of authentic journalistic reporting are dead, save for the citizen journalists out there and the few independent (meaning they are not owned by corporate america) news sites. Keith is like every other MSM journalist: an entertainer. Nothing more. Nothing less.

Really. Fucking. Hot.

Sometimes a picture says it all...

This was brought in from outside. Originally the reading was 110. Being inside in our nice a/c place for a few minutes brought the temp down a few degrees. Relief is on the way, though. 80 by the weekend, cooling into the 70's next week.

Sunday Contemplations

What if the reason we're in Iraq isn't solely due to controlling the precious resource that is oil? What if there's more to it than expanding western imperialism? What if one of the main reasons we're in Iraq is to aquire the long-lost and heavily guarded secrets of ancient technology (said to be buried in Iraq), the technology of the gods (space travelers)? The ability to travel through wormholes and blackholes and the like. And what if this jesus being was an alien (meaning time/space traveler) who had that ability and as such, traveled the cosmos in order to remind us of our capacity to love as well as letting us know we ALL possess and have access to the very same energy he carried with/within him (and knew how to manipulate/use)? What if 2012 marks another 26,000 year cycle where something mystical yet completely normal happens, where a wave of energy encircles our planet (acting alone or perhaps with or due to this mysterious planet "x" or nirubu), giving us access to such abilities, plus expanding our consciousness at the same time? What if this wave of energy is what's largely behind the weather changes occuring on our planet (and the other planets of our solar system)? What if the sun and its increase in solar flares are also a result of this energy wave? What if there has been on-going battles between planets for access to such energy? And what if the Universe/All That Is which is what this energy is believed to be does not judge and therefore, such energy, such power, is free for the taking? Rather exciting and terrifying at the same time, no?

What if all of this were true? What if some were true? Would you want access to such technology? To such knowledge? Would you want to know how to access and control the energy?

What if I'm full of it? : )

Imagine the potential results of such an event. We're likely seeing much of the results from the last go-around today. It seems far past time it is used for good this time around, don't you think?

Obama's $80 Billion Dollar Deal

The headlines scream, lefty media outlets drool and Obama brags: "In a deal made with the pharmaceutical companies, I have cut the cost of medicine over the next 10 years by $80 billion dollars." And yet, in the grand scheme of things, what's that really boil down to? According to an excellent commentary by Greg Palast, 2%.

And yet, will this really be reducing the cost of drugs over the next ten years?

"The Big Pharma kingpins did not actually agree to cut their prices. Their promise with Obama is something a little oilier: they apparently promised that, over ten years, they will reduce the amount at which they would otherwise raise drug prices. Got that? In other words, the Obama deal locks in a doubling of drug costs, projected to rise over the period of "savings" from a quarter trillion dollars a year to half a trillion dollars a year. Minus that 2%."

Greg also points out yet another of Obama's failed promises: The promise to make these negotiations with the drug companies viewable for all to see on C-Span.

It's the Bush years all over again, yet with more intelligent sounding promises, speeches and proper enunciation.

Those of us who either didn't vote or voted for Nader are simply sitting back, watching it all enfold whilst saying to the Obama supporters: "Yep. I told ya so."

The Pursuit of Money

I want you to try something. For one day (preferably a quiet day with few or no activities), write down every conscious moment you have about money. Any thought will do whether it's a worry about money, wondering if you have enough, wondering if you will either land a job or keep your current one, wondering what to do next to bring in more money, wondering if where you have it stored is safe. Etc. etc.

You may be surprised, but likely not, to realize how much of your time, energy, focus is geared towards money. Even if you consider yourself to be fairly enlightened, you're likely spending much of your time thinking about money. I've come to the realization that the pursuit of money changes who we are, and not in beneficial ways to our emotional, spiritual, mental and physical selves. It makes us worrisome. It makes us fearful. It makes us competitive and on edge. It makes us controlling, doubtful and distrustful. And those are the rather benign consequences. Taken to the extreme, the pursuit of money can turn us into violent criminals.

Either way, regardless of how much money we have or how little of it (although I would rather have too much than not enough), the pursuit of money is a slow death of important elements of our being. It stops us from fully being who we are, for thoughts of fear (especially those that are ongoing) and all that fear includes, is a barrier to the expression of our inner glory.

I believe this is a topic that is sorely missing in the spiritual community. I have yet to hear of one of our popular new age/spiritual "guru's" discuss money in this way, much less read any of their words that discuss creating a different system.

Imagine not having to pursue money. Imagine having all of our physical needs provided for--by one another--through a new (mostly automated) system where human need takes precedence. Imagine all of that energy that would be freed up to pursue those things to our liking. To spend (and actually enjoy) our time in communion with others and with nature. Imagine not having to worry about having enough money.

While being physical beings in this dimension and having survival needs will always create some level of fear at times due to our innate need and desire for survival, it would greatly enhance our life experience if we were not given the heavy burden of having to create money.

The first step in doing so is to simply imagine what that would be like for you.

Forgot This One...

This morning Obama was heard singing "the economy's on the road to recovery" song. You know how it goes, right? If not, here's a sample of the lyrics (sung to the tune of "On Top Of 'Ole Smokie"):

The numbers are out
it's lookin' quite good.
Economy's cookin'
just as it should.

Sure we have our homeless
and food lines galore.
But those folks don't matter
to us anymore.

So go out and spend
your money on stuff.
Ignore the words of those
who've had quite enough.

So while Obama was engaging in a verbal wet dream about the unemployment rate dropping by 1/10th of one freakin' percent, just remember this my dear american: These stats don't include the millions who have run out of their benefits and are still unempoyed nor do they include the millions of unemployed who have had to resort to part-time minimum wage employment, nor do they include those who have simply given up.

2.6 million jobs lost in 2008. Between 300,000 and 600,000 lost each month in 2009.

And yet, the economy's on the road to recovery.

The people sigh.

Whatever.