9.11.2007

Reflections

Mr. Nina said from the kitchen this morning, "it's the anniversary of 9/11".

"Yeah, I know..." I said, rather annoyingly.

The terms "anniversary" and "9/11" don't fit in my mind and heart. At all. I didn't want to hear about any of it today.

When he left for work, I told him I didn't want to talk about that day when he returned home either. He deals with the public and I knew he'd have stories to share from some of his customers. Stories I don't want to hear, either because I already agree with them or because I want to smack the people awake with whom I don't agree.

Maybe we should call this thing for what it really is. We have "D" day. Let's make this another "D" day. Death. The day of death for so many beautiful innocent people, our constitution, our safety. The day many woke up from their slumber and saw the realities of leaders around the globe. The day we began to realize we've been enslaved for decades and those doing the enslaving want it that way, don't give a shit about you or me, and plan on keeping on with the process. The day we began to realize the corruption of our "democracy", and the fact that there really is little difference between the letters R and D that follow the names of our elected officials.

Lost for me are the visions and memories of people coming together around the world. Lost because within weeks, within months, that coming together would collapse. Collapse because of the policies of governments, collapse because of the strong, ego-driven sense of patriotism and individualism and pride that permeates western culture to its very core.

I read a beautiful essay yesterday on Marianne Williamson's website, as linked through my friend/blogging buddy's site. Her words resonated with how I feel, deep in my heart, when I am not feeling tired and weary. She carries a strong message of hope and yet, she still believes to make a change, we must call our elected officials. Doesn't she know millions of us already have done/do this? Doesn't she know we have been ignored and essentially been told our will and wishes don't run the system anymore? Doesn't she know the corruption runs at depths so deep, agenda's based solely on control, and maybe even for some who have truly lost their way, their soul, to follow the will of their constituents would be akin to a death sentence, at the very least, any sort of political power and clout... Just look at Kucinich. He's a laughing stock in DC.

Hope. A strange word to me today. What good is hope when things are crumbling around us? What good is hope when you're worn out from the phone calls and the letters, demanding the will of the people return to politics? What good is hope when we have unseen people at the control panel? Sure, their numbers are small and ours are big, but honestly, how many people do you know, including yourself, who would be willing to simply say "ENOUGH" one day and refuse to participate in society in ANY way that reflected the (current) ways of slavery? That means refusal to work or shop for any corporation/business that is in bed with the government, that participates in the abuse of human rights around the globe, that doesn't pay a living wage and provide vacation, retirement and health care benefits. That means a refusal to pay outlandish interest rates on credit cards, mortagages. That means refusing to pay another fucking dime to the health insurance criminals. It means a refusal to pay another dime for energy when we can be getting it for free, or at the very least, much cheaper. It means a refusal to carry around that cell phone or be connected to the internet around the clock.

ALL of these little things we do are making others rich. Very rich. And yet are you seeing any of that wealth?

Hope. I'm sorry but I just can't find any of that in my heart at the moment.

2 comments:

tkn said...

i have to admit that i too am at a low point, currently, in terms of my general mood about the future and the likelihood of real change.

however, i have to insist on clinging to hope. (i think i'm saying this as much for myself as to try to convince you and your readers) basically the way i think of it is hope is the last thing you have and once you lose it, you might as well end it. of course i'm not suggesting anyone commit suicide, least of all you nina. but hope is the fundamental ingredient for keeping the dormant reality, the one that is possible and will work for everyone, alive. if we lose hope then all possibility vanishes. i understand 'combat fatigue' however. i'm experiencing it now, i think. you struggle and care deeply and devote your time and energy and write letters and call people and do what you can and nothing really happens. and you get burnt out. i experience this on a regular basis. i don't know if this helps but perhaps its perfectly okay to get tired and need and take a rest every now and then. i know that's the case as far as work work is concerned, but i'm talking about the Struggle.

we don't need to unplug from society, we need to engage society and be a big part of it. don't get me wrong, i would love to stop the machine that sucks the money and life out of us and straight to the top, but we still need to live and survive in order to one day thrive. i really hoped portland would re-municipalize their power supply (PGE)a few years ago when they had the opportunity and i still think its a good idea for people to collectively own and equitably distribute those resources that we all depend on, the essentials, like electricity, without some greedy sob trying to make a profit on top of it.

here in Corvallis we talk about living in a bubble, that somehow our town, our reality is not actually real. well, i don't think that's really accurate. certainly other parts of the world and the country are very different from Corvallis in terms of quality of life, but here and now, we live in a town with a high concentration of good decent folk living the Struggle and the fact is, it shows. We are creating the change we want to see and though its taking a long time and the steps are minimal, steps are being taken and we are different and i daresay, better. iow, what makes Corvallis so great is not so much the location and the trees and the university perse, but the people.

i think the rapid and more large-scale change will come when loving and caring people get together and reach a critical mass that sets such an example to the rest of the world as to instill in everyone a desire to change. it certainly can't be legislated, or proselytized or even protested into happening.

then again looking back to the struggles of history, we know that any real gains have been achieved through blood and tears and protest, so maybe i'm just full of shit, but i do look at the increasing popularity of people like Marianne Williamson as a small reason to continue to hope.

on the other hand, i am really at a loss as to how to deal with the epidemic of apathy that has gripped the country for many decades now.

such is the tortured life of one who gives a damn.

did i tell you that it was great to finally meet in person yet? well, it was great meeting both you nina and mr. nina and puppy nina and i *hope* to hang out with you guys again real soon.

oh, regarding the post office. i think they're just about obsolete and grasping at straws to try to pay their bills. didn't they partially privatize a few years ago or something? its a shame, i mean, what if there isn't a US post office anymore? but quite honestly, the last time i mailed a letter was maybe a decade ago. but i definitely agree the junk mail (and telemarketing) needs to stop!

Nina said...

thanks for your words tim. they were quite beautiful and very well put. hope is something i struggle with, but i can't ever see myself losing it altogether. i'm way too much of an idealist, way too stubborn to experience that.

it's hard when you hold visions and ideas about a world where all can thrive--and to see changes for such a world either not happening or occuring at a turtle's pace. i'm very impatient once i make up my mind about something--i want everyone else to jump on board with me.

people are tired. and god knows what they put into the air with those aerial sprays and the health effects of the increasing number of emf fields, all of which (can) negatively impact our health. i read an article the other day that shows RFID chips cause malignant tumors in lab mice and rats. not surprising. i am so glad i've refused to chip puppy nina (very cute name, btw).

i don't know.......each small community becoming self-sustaining is indeed key, as i see it. and i support the idea (at least the exploration of) of states seceding from the union. i'm just tired of feeding the machine. we just had a vacation last month--i'm ready for another one!

marianne is a very wealthy woman. i'd like to know what she is doing in terms of political influence to change the system. money is power afterall. i've lost a fair bit of faith in some of the more new age types and hype the past few years, although she is one of the very few who seem to really "get it". i know she's an avid kucinich supporter. i'd like to see her on oprah sharing her current messages. she's been a guest in the past. although it would probably be a very toned down, generic talk. oprah's show unfortunately lacks that spark of "controversy" that is needed oh so much.

yeah--we had a great time too and will definitely be getting together again soon. :)