There's no humor in this post. No little bits of sarcasm either. I'm royally fucking pissed the farm fuck off. I am a 40 something out of work female who has been asking herself the question, since getting laid off last year, "What do I do with my life now?" I cannot put into words how tired my brain is from trying to think myself out of this situation. To answer that one god damn question.
I've had plenty of ideas that I've pursued. One was to become a mediator. I found an online school offering such an instructional program at a very doable and reasonable cost. However, after speaking with several folks who are certified mediator's, I was told no one does mediation for a living unless they're already a lawyer or counselor. Those without the law and counseling degrees simply offer their services for free through community mediation centers. I asked one woman "So you're telling me if I were to become certified, I would likely have to donate my time given I lack these other advanced degrees?" Yep. "You're kidding me? Why would I do that?" Why because it's very rewarding.
Work. For free. Sure, in a different reality I'd do that. BUT I AM IN THIS CURRENT HELL HOLE THAT INSISTS ONE HAVE SUFFICIENT SUMS OF MONEY TO SURVIVE.
My most recent idea was to study to become a barber and cut men's hair out of my home on a part-time basis. Had lots of people tell me gotta look into working for yourself. Find a trade people will need and go from there. There's a local facility to get trained. The cost? Oh, only $10000-$15000. I have a degree which means Uncle Sam won't give me any grants. You know, the free kind of money. That means loans for someone in my position. No way in hell am I going to go into that kind of debt at my age only to graduate and make $10-$15 per haircut. I have tendonitis after playing the piano since I was a toddler so I could only do such work part-time. Honestly, I had no clue it was so expensive to learn how to CUT HAIR.
I've put up flyers for picking up dog poop. For a variety of writing and editing services. For songwriting services. For basic household chores. For tarot card and talking board readings. I've applied for countless writing positions. Oh sure, there are lots of online publications who would LOVE for me to write for them for free. Already blogged about that. Been there, done that. Ain't doing it anymore.
I've looked into getting myself recorded and selling my music on my own. All of that of course costs money that I don't have.
Fucking everything costs money. I am so god damn sick of this little "reality" of life. I'm sick of being told to suck it up and accept it. Grow up. Accept life as it is.
That simply is not in my character anymore to "suck it up". I've been doing that for over 30 years. Those days of faking it are over.
I got off track.
I guess this all comes down to money. And those nagging questions. What are you going to DO with your life? How are you going to make money?
I don't fucking know anymore. Prostitute myself??? Line myself up with some big time drug lord and take a chance on that one big deal??? Rob from the rich to give to the poor???
I mean seriously, I am so god damn fed up with this damn issue I have moments where I want to just go out and do whatever it fucking takes to make a large sum of cash, throw it in the face of every greedy bastard and idiot who supports the monetary based system and say "THERE! Will that suffice you for now you fucking jack ass??!!"
Until such time, I pray. A lot. Not that this has done me an ounce of good for it seems with every idea that seems to come to me from "out of the blue", none have yet proven to be worthwhile.
Along those lines, I have a host of bumper sticker slogans (that would be idea #4,582). Anyone know of someone who is in the business and would like to invest in my ideas, let me know. I also have some recipes for homemade canned dog foods I've considered selling (idea #4,355). And I also have a unique design for a make-up palette for mineral make-up (idea #4298). Again, anyone know of anyone with the $$ to help fund such ideas, let me know!