4.18.2009

Mid Life Job Crisis Raging Rant

There's no humor in this post. No little bits of sarcasm either. I'm royally fucking pissed the farm fuck off. I am a 40 something out of work female who has been asking herself the question, since getting laid off last year, "What do I do with my life now?" I cannot put into words how tired my brain is from trying to think myself out of this situation. To answer that one god damn question.

I've had plenty of ideas that I've pursued. One was to become a mediator. I found an online school offering such an instructional program at a very doable and reasonable cost. However, after speaking with several folks who are certified mediator's, I was told no one does mediation for a living unless they're already a lawyer or counselor. Those without the law and counseling degrees simply offer their services for free through community mediation centers. I asked one woman "So you're telling me if I were to become certified, I would likely have to donate my time given I lack these other advanced degrees?" Yep. "You're kidding me? Why would I do that?" Why because it's very rewarding.

Work. For free. Sure, in a different reality I'd do that. BUT I AM IN THIS CURRENT HELL HOLE THAT INSISTS ONE HAVE SUFFICIENT SUMS OF MONEY TO SURVIVE.

My most recent idea was to study to become a barber and cut men's hair out of my home on a part-time basis. Had lots of people tell me gotta look into working for yourself. Find a trade people will need and go from there. There's a local facility to get trained. The cost? Oh, only $10000-$15000. I have a degree which means Uncle Sam won't give me any grants. You know, the free kind of money. That means loans for someone in my position. No way in hell am I going to go into that kind of debt at my age only to graduate and make $10-$15 per haircut. I have tendonitis after playing the piano since I was a toddler so I could only do such work part-time. Honestly, I had no clue it was so expensive to learn how to CUT HAIR.

I've put up flyers for picking up dog poop. For a variety of writing and editing services. For songwriting services. For basic household chores. For tarot card and talking board readings. I've applied for countless writing positions. Oh sure, there are lots of online publications who would LOVE for me to write for them for free. Already blogged about that. Been there, done that. Ain't doing it anymore.

I've looked into getting myself recorded and selling my music on my own. All of that of course costs money that I don't have.

Fucking everything costs money. I am so god damn sick of this little "reality" of life. I'm sick of being told to suck it up and accept it. Grow up. Accept life as it is.

That simply is not in my character anymore to "suck it up". I've been doing that for over 30 years. Those days of faking it are over.

I got off track.

I guess this all comes down to money. And those nagging questions. What are you going to DO with your life? How are you going to make money?

I don't fucking know anymore. Prostitute myself??? Line myself up with some big time drug lord and take a chance on that one big deal??? Rob from the rich to give to the poor???

I mean seriously, I am so god damn fed up with this damn issue I have moments where I want to just go out and do whatever it fucking takes to make a large sum of cash, throw it in the face of every greedy bastard and idiot who supports the monetary based system and say "THERE! Will that suffice you for now you fucking jack ass??!!"

Until such time, I pray. A lot. Not that this has done me an ounce of good for it seems with every idea that seems to come to me from "out of the blue", none have yet proven to be worthwhile.

Along those lines, I have a host of bumper sticker slogans (that would be idea #4,582). Anyone know of someone who is in the business and would like to invest in my ideas, let me know. I also have some recipes for homemade canned dog foods I've considered selling (idea #4,355). And I also have a unique design for a make-up palette for mineral make-up (idea #4298). Again, anyone know of anyone with the $$ to help fund such ideas, let me know!

5 comments:

Mike and Julie said...

I completely feel your pain! I am 50 and been out of work since March 2008. I have been in the same profession for around 30 years and no one is hiring in that field. I do Civil drafting and we are in the same field as construction work which sucks right now. I have applied at many different types of jobs that I have some experience with but have not gotten ONE call back. They want everyone to have degrees, MA's and BA's which means I am screwed because someone younger with the degree will get the job. Also, since there is sooooo many people looking for work, the competition is rough. I apply for employment every week with no results. I am discouraged with it all. My husband's business has been keeping me busy having to create a couple of websites for them. I actually love doing that and would like to find a job creating websites for others. But, there again, you have to either have the experience or degree. I'm trying to not be discouraged but it is hard sometimes. The best to you always.....Julie

crallspace said...

Nina-

I'm sorry you are having such a rough time. It is tough, but ya know, the world of employment is what is really not secure these days. The fact that you are at least trying to do work for yourself (like haircuts or bumper stickers) puts you on the right track. The world of looking for traditional, p/t or F/T work is a dark tunnel with no real light at the end. Don't even bother with it.

I would recommend posting ads in the Hour trader and craigslist. Even if you've done that already. Do it again. Sell everything from free lamps you find to TVs or garden starts. Dumpster diving season is coming up. You never know when someone who needs what you have will be surfing the ads. And though the Hours is something that people resist because it's not "real" money, not all people who contact you offer only Hours. I've found both cash and Hours jobs, and get a fair amt. of calls. Plus, if the system does what we expect, I have a feeling HOURS will fill up pretty quick. IT's good to be on board early.

I hope things look up for you. Don't give up! That doesn't mean "suck it up," but just don't give up! Luckily, for low income folks, there are a number of free food resources here, so at least we won't starve.

One day at a time.

Take care.

crallspace said...

A friend of mine just mentioned to me, she and her partner want someone to live at their farm and work it. I don't know all the details, but wtf do you have to lose? They're about 5 miles out of Philomath, near Decker Rd. and 34.

Email me if interested.

Devin said...

Nina believe me -I know how you feel-I try to tell myself everyday that things will turn around-I am really trying to get into believing it-but reality hits and I realize I am an unemployed 44 year old with a horrible back amongst other problems-I also get so mad at myself for not doing my own writing -on fiction projects-it seems I get started and then 30 minutes later I am staring at the wall-I can't believe its been almost two years since I have not worked (in July) I agree with your thoughts about money -every effin thing you could think to do get trained at-whatever have you in this effin country costs money-and frikkin health care -In some countries you dont need to go to an effin doctor for some things for a script-I guess this would be the logical countries -you gotta go to the damn dr for everything here for a script for a damn skin problem!! The only thing I am super glad that I did do is stop drinking booze like i did when I first became unemployable I should say-had I not done that I think I woulda Od'd by now-I am sending a friendly hug your way-I so know exactly what you are saying with this article -sometimes it is so good to get things out of your system!

Nina said...

Thank you everyone for your validating comments and your experiences.

Julie--have you thought about going out on your own and being a website designer? Considering many of us are looking into self-employment ideas and of those, some will want to present themselves on the internet, your services would be in demand.