Some things I've been engaged in to occupy myself.
Currently I'm reading "The Life of Pi". I first heard of this book several years ago and, at the time, thought it was about the mathematical term, 3.14. In a way, I was correct in that it is the story of Piscine, portrayed as a young boy and adult male, who goes by Pi or 3.14 in order to escape the teasing that comes along when your name, pronounced with that Indian accent, sounds like "pissing". I am enthralled with this book. I am deeply engaged with the main character. I am taken away with the narration and in particular, the discussion of religion. This is a story of faith and adventure. It almost blinds me with its realness. I have to say I haven't been this taken away with an author's writing style since I first read Hemingway.
We watched a very simple yet moving film last night called "Opal Dream". Set in Australia, it tells of the story of a little girl who spends her time playing with her (supposed) "imaginary" playmates, preferring them to her classmates while her dreamer father has moved the family in order to stake a claim in search of Opal's. All moves along quite nicely until the little girl's two friends disappear, where upon the little girl becomes very ill. What follows is a story of sibling connection, and ultimately, faith in the midst of judgment, struggle and controversy.
Tonight we watched a rather bizarre yet compelling short film called "Light and the Sufferer". It's the story of two brothers, one a college dropout, the other a societal dropout. Upon reconnecting, the two decide to score some quick cash and get out of town. Their plans are diverted, in part by their own choosing and in part by a strange other worldly cat-like being, known as a Sufferer, who are said to follow those who are suffering, who don't believe they have any purpose or worth. Check it out.
Facebook. Yeah, I sold my soul and signed up. I don't know why. I'll likely cancel. I really don't have anyone from my past with whom I can see myself reconnecting with. I have a few local friends who are on Facebook, but I see them enough to not really need to communicate with them in that manner. One friend said it was a great way to connect with friends from the past, especially high school.
High school was a prison for me. College, not much different. In fact, since signing up, I feel like I'm back in those days, at one giant party, where I'm on the outside looking in. Seeing many of my old classmates registered on one another's page is like walking into a giant tub of salt, with me being a giant open wound. For whatever reason, I've never been one to have a large circle of friends. I certainly tried during childhood, but for whatever reason(s), instead of friendship from me, the kids instead wanted me as one of their targets for teasing. Either that or I was simply ignored. As a result, I grew into my teen years moody, rebellious against anything that was considered popular or hip. I discovered solitude was where I could truly be myself without hassle, so I became a bit of a loner, that is until I discovered weed and beer in my late teen years. Then I became the life of the party. However, those relationships made during that time were no more significant or meaningful than the ones made when I was sober. I had a tiny circle of friends who I thought were going to be there for the long haul. However, after I opted to divorce my last husband, they split. Since that time, I've become even more selective in who I allow into my life. And sometimes, I wonder just who I really am. Am I really this sensitive, hesitant introvert or did I become that way as a result of my experiences with relationships? Having long ago opted for sobriety in dealing with groups of people and new faces, I still face those social anxieties and prefer the company of animals, meaningful books, movies and music, and like-minded/like-souled introspective, sensitive nerds. So far, I haven't found such people on Facebook. They're probably out there, like myself, waiting for someone to come to them instead of doing the reaching out.