4.18.2006

trying to put to use my assertiveness skills is harder than it looks on paper....

..........especially when i am dealing with long-term noise pollution by inconsiderate, drug-dealing neighbors. after months of being woken up after 1am, after months of being woken up at 8am with thumping music, after months of watching vehicles visit the property, staying 5-10 minutes, often with a driver or passenger (which has included small kids and dogs) staying inside the vehicle, after months of having to ask some of these "visitors" to move their vehicles so that we can pull our car in or out of our driveway, after months of reporting this to the police, speaking with the owner, and speaking with these punks ourselves, i snapped a twig last friday. we both did.
my husband was kept up until around 3am with their loud talking and laughing outside. i have had come to rely on earplugs, which i despise using as they are not comfortable to me, so i slept through the noise. the alarm went off at 8am. hub went into the shower. i stayed in bed for another hour or so. when i finally rolled my sleepy ass out of bed, i hit the potty. i looked at my hub, standing in front of the bathroom mirror. he looked exhausted. bags were under his eyes. oh honey, i said, did you not get enough sleep last night? he just looked at me and sighed, pointed next door. neighbor kids again, he said.
anger began to rise in me. not an unusual occurrence. these kids and their noise and "visitors" has caused me to feel anger that i have never felt towards any neighbor. i focused my intention on calming down. i am, afterall, trying to change my life by focusing my thoughts at what some call a higher frequency level. i just like to say i'm trying not to be so dang pissy and depressed about my life and the human condition.
fixing the morning cup of coffee, i took deep breaths. as i went to put in a slice of bread into the toaster, that's when it began. the thumping of the music, coming through my kitchen walls. they're up, i thought. they were awake at 2am and they're up at 9am. what 20 year old does that??? i thought. i hear friends words go through my mind. nina, they're probably doing crack or meth. two police officers have told me the same thing. nina, they can stay up for days on that stuff. look at the pock marks on their face. look at their rotting teeth. the sullen look on their faces. i simply haven't wanted to embrace these things. they're babies to me. BABIES!
thump, thump, thump, i hear. babies, indeed, i think. they're ruining my peace and quiet!! i pound on the wall, hoping the music will go down a notch or two. nope. instead it went up.
as i made my toast, i drummed my fingers on the countertop, again trying to remain calm. i am at peace, i tell myself. i am calm, i tell myself.
thump thump thump...........
i am at peace. i am calm. all is well. i am at peace. i am......
thumpa thumpa thumpa........
wall is now rattling. i think back to what the police officer told me. unless the music is actually causing things to fall off the walls, they aren't breaking any ordinances, at least during the daytime hours. you'll either have to tolerate it or move was his advice.
i am at peace. i am calm. all is well. i i i i um i am NO I AM NOT I AM FUCKING PISSED OFF I AM SICK OF HAVING MY CALM MOMENTS INTERRUPTED BY LOUD MUSIC AND LOUD NOISES OUTSIDE AND FOOT TRAFFIC AT ALL HOURS OF THE DAY AND NIGHT AND CARS BLOCKING MY DRIVEWAY I CANNOT TAKE IT ANYMORE............
well, i obviously had had it, for i used my foot (which had snow boots on them at the time--been rather cold and wet out west lately) instead of my hand to pound on the wall. luck was in my corner considering how hard i kicked the wall. it still escapes the minds of my hub and myself why i did not put a giant hole in the wall.
as i pouned away with my foot, i screamed through the wall "TURN DOWN YOUR FUCKING GANGSTER BULLSHIT MUSIC AND WHILE YOU'RE AT IT YOU DRUG DEALING LITTLE PUNKS, TAKE YOUR FUCKING NOISE INSIDE AT NIGHT OR I AM GOING TO COME OVER THERE AND KICK THE SHIT OUT OF YOUR ASSES!"
by this time, my hub had of course come out to observe what the commotion was. he was a smart man that morning--he simply let me blow up into a million different fragments.
i thought i was done. however, apparently i wasn't. when we stepped outside, i noticed two of the kids outside in their driveway, an older female (50's) with them. i had seen this woman before and felt she was one of their illegal "visitors".
"who are you and what are you doing here?" i boldly asked. i ignored all inner thoughts of keeping the peace. fuck that. the part of me that operates on lack of sleep had taken over instead.
apparently she wasn't a mother, for she just gave me a stunned look, said "uh oh" and walked away. yeah, walk away you addict, i remember thinking. wow. what was happening to me? my dark side making an appearance obviously. normally i have had nothing but sympathy and utter empathy for addicts. that is until they began showing up at my house.
hub put on the dad hat and demanded of the kids, "what is WRONG with you people??"
"what do you mean you people?" one of the kids said with obvious youthful rebellion.
"who do you think he means? YOU. and YOU!" i said, pointing to his roommate.
"look, i have HAD IT with you kids keeping us up at all hours with your music and your laughter and talking outside. see that wall there? that's right. that wall also happens to be our BEDROOM wall. that means every single conversation you have, every laugh and every word you utter is heard by us. doesn't matter if it's 10am or 3am. we HEAR you. and it's the late night talking that we have asked you to stop. that the owner has asked you to stop and you have refused to respect that. and I DO NOT KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO! TELL ME what i am supposed to do to get it through to you kids??"
"i have no idea what you're talking about. no one's said anything to me about that."
thank god my husband was there. if he wasn't, i may have just jumped on him. i may have grabbed him by the chest and rammed him into the wall. i was that angry. and my patience was truly out.
instead, my husband said "come on honey, let's go" and he and i left.
since that time, i have found out the owner is evicting them. is this slander what i am doing? i could easily give their names and their address but for obvious reasons, i won't be doing that. no, what i think this is is one woman's attempt to enjoy her RIGHT to live in a neighborhood that is quiet, where illegal activity is not tolerated and where neighbors who have concerns with one another respect one another when expressing those concerns.
that is until that respect is tossed out the window and is instead met with resistance and even an increase in the issues.
i can now truly see why wars are begun. that propensity for violence is ingrained in every one of us, waiting to come out swinging, especially when basic necessities, including the necessity to enjoy regular, peaceful sleep and quiet, are tampered with for any on-going period of time.
my hope? if these kids are dealing and/or using the hard toxic crap, they get the help, support and love they need.
my concern? if they are making the hard toxic crap, my household is already contaminated with their money making "habit".
my wishes? homes are made sound-proof to outside noise. thumping stereos are outlawed. and respect of ones neighbors basic rights are understood and embraced and practiced by all. and the creation of deadly chemicals to get high by putting into the body is eradicated. war on drugs, indeed. let's remove all drugs from our government's list of "no no's" that are shown to be safe for most people and instead focus on the remaining drugs that are deadly and focus on what the problem really is about: war on the body, mind and soul.
nina

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