4.26.2006

rambling........

received an e-mail for single women and how to behave in the right ways to find and keep a man. the last time i was single was about 10 years ago. my only rule for myself was to be myself, however that was. i figured if i said or did something the man thought was off, inappropriate or simply weird, he would be "man enough" to tell me. if not, he wasn't the right one for me. i also knew that once that right man came along and entered my life, i wouldn't have to put on false heirs or behave in ways that weren't really a part of me. he'd know i was the one for him and nothing would stop him from being with me.
i was right. he came along, announced on the first date he only dated one woman at a time, announced he wanted to get to know me better, and announced (what would likely scare away most women) he was looking to get married and have a family. at first i thought "are you nuts?? we just met!" but then i realized--hey, this guy knows what he wants and isn't afraid to let me know.
i was and am today so grateful for how direct and brutally honest he was with his intentions right off the bat. i wasn't left wondering how he felt about me, what he thought about our relationship, etc. we never followed the traditional "take it slow" advice. within 2.5 months, we were living together. and ever since that day, he has always remained very open with how he feels about me and about us. sometimes that's lead to some intense conflict, usually because we're both intense, passionate, stubborn human beings, but overall it is always best to just be yourself in all situations. masks only serve to hide ourselves from one another. being just ME is so much more freeing.
lots of talk about immigration.........illegal immigrants............my main "beef" is with companies who hire these folks, pay crappy wages and no benefits........they see their profits increase while jobs once belonging to legal americans are taken away. and that burns me up inside.......although i can see another side, the side of the consumer, who will use services of the companies who employ illegals.........it's usually cheaper that way.........and we all know incomes have simply not kept up with the price of housing and medical care and other expenses of living........americans are in great need of finding ways to save a buck.........
take for example a neighbor mine. he recently hired a roofing contractor to put a new roof on his house. this contractor hired only illegal immigrants and was thus $4,000 cheaper than area competitors, who hire legal residents.
on the one hand, i can see my neighbor's reasons for his decision. he's on a very fixed income. and on the other hand, i can understand those who would like to see this contractor given a brow beating.
there really is no black and white. in anything. life is a giant paradox shaded in gray.
a former neighbor of mine, a single mother, illegal immigrant with 3 american-born children. she had been in this country for 17 years, spoke very little english and had never paid a dime in taxes, even though she spent much of those 17 years cutting hair in high-end salons in southern california, getting paid under the table.
i had a real issue with that situation, someone in this country, enjoying a free pass, so to speak.
there is the obvious fact--there is only so much physical space in this country, although human beings tend to need their space, so i believe either the influx will slow down or some americans will simply choose to migrate elsewhere. what i am saying is that there is a natural order to things.
italy may be nice. laid back, friendly. incredible food. all of that fresh cheese and pasta and fresh breads and wine. and the coastal regions. spectacular scenery. i've never been, but a family member went and remarked how wonderful the country was, how she had a desire to live there if circumstances in her life were different. i once had a friend who visited italy. when she came back she told me i would appreciate their culture, especially how openly expressive and passionate they are. public displays of affection and emotion are not frowned upon as they tend to be here in the western world.
laid back culture. friendly, down to earth folks. excellent cousine. wonderful culture. spectacular scenery. time with family and friends highly valued and not just given lip service. and i can be ME, my emotionally expressive, passionate, intense, tempermental self and not be judged for this?
where's my ticket!
N.

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