as posted today on the ASPCA website:
Breaking News From FDA Confirms ASPCA’s Suspicions on Pet Food Toxin
Presence of Melamine Identified in Contaminated Food
ASPCA Media Contact
NEW YORK, March 30, 2007— Three days ago, the ASPCA® (The American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals®) cautioned that aminopterin was an unlikely suspect in the illnesses and deaths of animals that ingested the recently-recalled contaminated foods—a suspicion that was today confirmed by the U. S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA).
In a news conference held today, the FDA announced that further laboratory testing identified the presence of melamine in food samples from the recalled lots. Melamine, which is not highly toxic in general, is used to make durable plastic household products; cleaning products; hard, stain-resistant laminates; flame-retardant foam and in soundproofing.
“Melamine at high doses causes a pronounced diuretic affect in dogs and rats, as well as the development of crystals in their urine,” said Dr. Steven Hansen, veterinary toxicologist and senior vice president with the ASPCA, who manages the ASPCA’s Midwest Office, including its Animal Poison Control Center (APCC). “The twist in the tale is that melamine itself has a very high safety margin, especially when compared with a toxin such as aminopterin.
“Cats, however, are a very sensitive species, and can react adversely to many chemicals and drugs,” continued Dr. Hansen. “Because of their unique physiology, we suspect that they may also be more sensitive to the adverse effects of melamine.
“Further, crystals in urine have been reported by veterinary diagnosticians and clinicians in some of the pets affected by the contaminated foods. However, the direct connection between melamine and renal failure, especially in cats, is not clear and requires additional investigation.”
The ASPCA recommends that the treatment of pets for kidney failure, which has been directly linked to ingestion of the contaminated food, should continue. “It is imperative to stay in close contact with your veterinarian and follow their direction,” said Dr. Hansen. “In addition, if you have any suspicion that your pet is displaying signs other than those previously noted, and believe these are directly linked to ingestion of the contaminated food, you should notify the FDA immediately.”
Adverse effects or deaths of pets conclusively linked to eating the contaminated foods should be reported to the FDA. The FDA has also posted answers to frequently asked questions about the recall at http://www.fda.gov/cvm/MenuFoodRecallFAQ.htm. Additionally, the American Veterinary Medical Association (AVMA) has a wealth of resources at http://www.avma.org/aa/menufoodsrecall/default.asp.
3.30.2007
3.29.2007
the sun is out but the skies are no longer clear
a few weekends ago my sister in law was visiting. it was a beautiful day, unusually warm. she had our nephew with her, a robust, active toddler. being cooped up in our small home was not going to be an option, so we decided to take a trip to the park. while my nephew and hubby played in the sandbox, my sister in law and i sunned ourselves on a bench. glancing up at the sky, i noticed the trails as they were laid down by aircraft. i pointed them out to my sister in law, who said "wow, that's cool!" not necessarily, i said. just watch and see if they dissipate.
they didn't. they simply spread out, taking on a cloud-like appearance, in time simply drifting eastward. sister in law was shocked and pondered the idea of what it could be. i tried to explain to her what i knew. i wish i had had access to this video at the time for her to watch.
who knows why this is happening. what's the reason? will we ever know? population control? weather manipulation? is it to save us or harm us? we're all exposed to this shit. government officials, private citizens. we all breathe the same air so the idea of population control is a hard one for me to wrap my brain around. it is naively suggested that we pressure our elected officials to respond. i've done that and haven't received one response to date. dennis kuccinich addressed the idea of chemtrails back in 2001 as part of a bill he sponsored. he later removed it. i hope to hear him address this as he campaigns around oregon.
i do find it interesting that "diseases" such as chronic fatigue began popping up in the mid 1990's, around the time this phenomena was said to have started. there's also been a rise in allergies, asthma and bone pain in the last 10 years as well.
when i was first introduced to this topic, i was sceptical. so i began watching the skies. i immediately noticed that some planes were laying down something that simply was not dissipating. one such summer evening i watched the trail for an hour and 20 minutes--plenty of time for a regular vapor trail to have dissipated. didn't happen. i remember thinking "dissipate, dissipate. prove me wrong. show me this doesn't exist." i also noticed that evening that my throat felt very scratchy, an unusual thing for me to experience. this was before i began reading the suspected side effects of chem spraying.
today, i notice these trails on a near daily basis here in my part of oregon. just something i've become used to. my usual response is to sigh and shake my head. in the last several years i've noticed my short term memory really suffers at times, even when i feel rested and healthy. i've had moments when i am in tears, trying to remember something i just said. after watching this video i saw where short term memory loss is one supposed side effect. i also begun having year-round sinus issues and some days, near debilitating fatigue. i've just chalked it up to living in poverty, struggling to create meaningful work for myself so we can get out of this lifestyle. however, maybe the effects from my environment are also to be found in the sky. god help us all if this is true.
they didn't. they simply spread out, taking on a cloud-like appearance, in time simply drifting eastward. sister in law was shocked and pondered the idea of what it could be. i tried to explain to her what i knew. i wish i had had access to this video at the time for her to watch.
who knows why this is happening. what's the reason? will we ever know? population control? weather manipulation? is it to save us or harm us? we're all exposed to this shit. government officials, private citizens. we all breathe the same air so the idea of population control is a hard one for me to wrap my brain around. it is naively suggested that we pressure our elected officials to respond. i've done that and haven't received one response to date. dennis kuccinich addressed the idea of chemtrails back in 2001 as part of a bill he sponsored. he later removed it. i hope to hear him address this as he campaigns around oregon.
i do find it interesting that "diseases" such as chronic fatigue began popping up in the mid 1990's, around the time this phenomena was said to have started. there's also been a rise in allergies, asthma and bone pain in the last 10 years as well.
when i was first introduced to this topic, i was sceptical. so i began watching the skies. i immediately noticed that some planes were laying down something that simply was not dissipating. one such summer evening i watched the trail for an hour and 20 minutes--plenty of time for a regular vapor trail to have dissipated. didn't happen. i remember thinking "dissipate, dissipate. prove me wrong. show me this doesn't exist." i also noticed that evening that my throat felt very scratchy, an unusual thing for me to experience. this was before i began reading the suspected side effects of chem spraying.
today, i notice these trails on a near daily basis here in my part of oregon. just something i've become used to. my usual response is to sigh and shake my head. in the last several years i've noticed my short term memory really suffers at times, even when i feel rested and healthy. i've had moments when i am in tears, trying to remember something i just said. after watching this video i saw where short term memory loss is one supposed side effect. i also begun having year-round sinus issues and some days, near debilitating fatigue. i've just chalked it up to living in poverty, struggling to create meaningful work for myself so we can get out of this lifestyle. however, maybe the effects from my environment are also to be found in the sky. god help us all if this is true.
3.27.2007
Story ideas for the Corvallis Gazette Times
i'm sure this isn't going to win me any brownie points with our local paper, but these things have just gotta be said. our local paper could use some real improvement. i've written a couple of the editors and shared my ideas for improvement, which included the idea of a weekly or bi-monthly column written by yours truly, all of which fell on deaf ears.
so today i put on my imaginary "editor" hat and have decided to hand out the following ideas for our local reporters.
1) do an in-depth report on the homeless in this city. dig up what you can on the homeless youth, families and single individuals. talk with city government about their plans for dealing with this. see what the university and other wealthy biz are doing to help put an end to this problem. see if any plans are in the works to build more shelters.
2) let's talk about the idea of establishing a living wage in this city. while we already have one, it only applies to city workers doing work for private employers. let's discuss the idea of establishing this guideline for all workers. controversial, yes. but that makes for a good read.
3) housing. it's grossly over-inflated. families have left corvallis and moved to albany. rentals are over-inflated. talk to the renters who would like to own but cannot afford it. talk to those who are looking into neighboring towns to buy. it's time to bring this issue to the spotlight, both locally and nationally. so far the talk has been limited, the focus being "housing bypassed inflation over two decades ago. that's just the way it is." let's talk about how this happened and why and what can be done about it to ensure all people who wish to own can afford to do so.
4) hey, bennett hall. mr. business reporter. i've got a business for you to investigate. remember the phone call we had about this back in 2004? when you said if i were to come up with just one more person who had a similar experience to contact you and you'd do a piece? and remember when i called you in 2006 and said i had met two more individuals who had lousy customer service from this place of business? remember you asked for their phone numbers and said you'd contact them? remember how you failed to do that? remember how you then ignored my phone calls to inquire what was going on? well i want you on it again. the sleep center on 9th street. lousy customer service bordering on abusive. selling defective products. and lying to customers. call up those folks whose information i gave you. and feel free to hear my story again as well.
5) let's do a report on that low frequency bass that comes equipped on so many stereos today. let's discuss the health hazards. let's let the community know this technology was first created as a weapon by our military. there are many private organizations throughout the country who are trying to get this technology outlawed in their community. they have been successful. you can remind our city council and mayor that i sent several e-mails to our then mayor and then local ward representative about this and never heard back. you can also speak with local police and let the one officer who told me my idea to get this banned in our local community would "never happen" that he doesn't know what he's talking about.
6) kip schoning. it's time someone bring this greedy sob to the spotlight. last weekend my spouse and i unknowingly looked at one of his properties (we didn't see the "cash for your house" sign until after the fact). slumville. see if he pays people off to keep his name out of the da's office and out of the newspaper. run medical tests to see if he has a conscious, too.
7) the meth problem. talk to police. they know the deal. talk to neighbors who have had these folks in their neighborhood (including yours truly). talk to the users and dealers themselves. contact our governor and ask him why the numbers haven't dropped since pseudoephedrine was removed from store shelves. cover the addiction angle, the poverty angle, the treatment angle.
8) to liven things up, let's do a "person of the week" piece. let's find those people who are doing good deeds, often without recognition. there are angels all over. let's find them and let people know that, despite the gloominess of our world right now, there are miracles to be found.
so today i put on my imaginary "editor" hat and have decided to hand out the following ideas for our local reporters.
1) do an in-depth report on the homeless in this city. dig up what you can on the homeless youth, families and single individuals. talk with city government about their plans for dealing with this. see what the university and other wealthy biz are doing to help put an end to this problem. see if any plans are in the works to build more shelters.
2) let's talk about the idea of establishing a living wage in this city. while we already have one, it only applies to city workers doing work for private employers. let's discuss the idea of establishing this guideline for all workers. controversial, yes. but that makes for a good read.
3) housing. it's grossly over-inflated. families have left corvallis and moved to albany. rentals are over-inflated. talk to the renters who would like to own but cannot afford it. talk to those who are looking into neighboring towns to buy. it's time to bring this issue to the spotlight, both locally and nationally. so far the talk has been limited, the focus being "housing bypassed inflation over two decades ago. that's just the way it is." let's talk about how this happened and why and what can be done about it to ensure all people who wish to own can afford to do so.
4) hey, bennett hall. mr. business reporter. i've got a business for you to investigate. remember the phone call we had about this back in 2004? when you said if i were to come up with just one more person who had a similar experience to contact you and you'd do a piece? and remember when i called you in 2006 and said i had met two more individuals who had lousy customer service from this place of business? remember you asked for their phone numbers and said you'd contact them? remember how you failed to do that? remember how you then ignored my phone calls to inquire what was going on? well i want you on it again. the sleep center on 9th street. lousy customer service bordering on abusive. selling defective products. and lying to customers. call up those folks whose information i gave you. and feel free to hear my story again as well.
5) let's do a report on that low frequency bass that comes equipped on so many stereos today. let's discuss the health hazards. let's let the community know this technology was first created as a weapon by our military. there are many private organizations throughout the country who are trying to get this technology outlawed in their community. they have been successful. you can remind our city council and mayor that i sent several e-mails to our then mayor and then local ward representative about this and never heard back. you can also speak with local police and let the one officer who told me my idea to get this banned in our local community would "never happen" that he doesn't know what he's talking about.
6) kip schoning. it's time someone bring this greedy sob to the spotlight. last weekend my spouse and i unknowingly looked at one of his properties (we didn't see the "cash for your house" sign until after the fact). slumville. see if he pays people off to keep his name out of the da's office and out of the newspaper. run medical tests to see if he has a conscious, too.
7) the meth problem. talk to police. they know the deal. talk to neighbors who have had these folks in their neighborhood (including yours truly). talk to the users and dealers themselves. contact our governor and ask him why the numbers haven't dropped since pseudoephedrine was removed from store shelves. cover the addiction angle, the poverty angle, the treatment angle.
8) to liven things up, let's do a "person of the week" piece. let's find those people who are doing good deeds, often without recognition. there are angels all over. let's find them and let people know that, despite the gloominess of our world right now, there are miracles to be found.
3.26.2007
on being offline.......
had one of those computer weeks last week. you know the kind--when the computer doesn't behave the way you want it to, doesn't listen to your begging, pleading and words of wisdom...doesn't even respond to bribes (hey, i promise to clean you with that compressed air once a week and i promise to remove my piles of crap from the tower). so i called a local repair guy, took it in and waited as it sat. day after day. i finally called this morning and said hey, what's up? dude says "sorry, i haven't got to it yet. don't know when i will." rather than wait, i decided to go pick it up. a friend had offered to check it out--for free--so i took him up on the offer.
well this friend of ours obviously has the cosmic touch because once his hands were on it with the simple move of turning it on, all was working just fine. looking up at me with a smile he said, "this seems to happen to me." bless you, i said, patting him on the shoulder, picking up my tower, kissing it as i gently placed it in my car where i drove home only to find upon my arrival a power shortage. damn.
the substation in need of repair happens to be in my neighborhood, so i set out to speak to the repair people to find out what caused the outage. the culprit? a squirrel--likely the squirrel that plays merrily in our yard, using our potted plant containers to bury his walnuts while tormenting my squirrel-crazed dog. i got a little teary-eyed as the guy in the hard hat told me what happened. apparently this happens fairly often. i thought squirrels were smarter than that.
so sending out a wish for the little squirrel, i headed inside and tried to keep myself busy. i was not able to work. i couldn't do laundry or vacuum. so i played the piano and read for a few hours. just as i was thinking "ok this is getting ridiculous and i am getting cold", with a thundering hummm, the lights came back on. yippie!! i thought, racing back to the office/spare bedroom/junk room. with careful urgency, i plugged everything into it's right place, fired 'er up and prayed for the same cosmic result as earlier in the day. i needn't have worried. she worked just fine.
i had close to 300 e-mails, all of but 5 i deleted (please don't think i'm that popular. i'm on a few e-mail lists is all). and i noticed something. i felt kind of indifferent. kind of let down, actually. i thought i'd feel more excited, being online again. the truth is, at its best the computer is a convenience. at its worst, an addictive diversion.
i had a lot of very cool things happen to me during those days i was offline. i spent more time with my dog. i had some excellent conversations with my spouse. i napped. i was certainly outside more. i read more, even meditated and experienced some cool insights. and the best part? i was totally detached from the events of the world (i don't watch tv news except for the weather). when i first realized i may be without my computer for a few days, i was tense inside. agitated. but as those days passed, i missed it less and less. i felt, in a way, a sense of relief.
all because i disconnected from the virtual world and connected more with the real world around me. something i will do more of...........
well this friend of ours obviously has the cosmic touch because once his hands were on it with the simple move of turning it on, all was working just fine. looking up at me with a smile he said, "this seems to happen to me." bless you, i said, patting him on the shoulder, picking up my tower, kissing it as i gently placed it in my car where i drove home only to find upon my arrival a power shortage. damn.
the substation in need of repair happens to be in my neighborhood, so i set out to speak to the repair people to find out what caused the outage. the culprit? a squirrel--likely the squirrel that plays merrily in our yard, using our potted plant containers to bury his walnuts while tormenting my squirrel-crazed dog. i got a little teary-eyed as the guy in the hard hat told me what happened. apparently this happens fairly often. i thought squirrels were smarter than that.
so sending out a wish for the little squirrel, i headed inside and tried to keep myself busy. i was not able to work. i couldn't do laundry or vacuum. so i played the piano and read for a few hours. just as i was thinking "ok this is getting ridiculous and i am getting cold", with a thundering hummm, the lights came back on. yippie!! i thought, racing back to the office/spare bedroom/junk room. with careful urgency, i plugged everything into it's right place, fired 'er up and prayed for the same cosmic result as earlier in the day. i needn't have worried. she worked just fine.
i had close to 300 e-mails, all of but 5 i deleted (please don't think i'm that popular. i'm on a few e-mail lists is all). and i noticed something. i felt kind of indifferent. kind of let down, actually. i thought i'd feel more excited, being online again. the truth is, at its best the computer is a convenience. at its worst, an addictive diversion.
i had a lot of very cool things happen to me during those days i was offline. i spent more time with my dog. i had some excellent conversations with my spouse. i napped. i was certainly outside more. i read more, even meditated and experienced some cool insights. and the best part? i was totally detached from the events of the world (i don't watch tv news except for the weather). when i first realized i may be without my computer for a few days, i was tense inside. agitated. but as those days passed, i missed it less and less. i felt, in a way, a sense of relief.
all because i disconnected from the virtual world and connected more with the real world around me. something i will do more of...........
3.20.2007
Waking Up to the Bullshit
something quite magical and chaotic and wonderful and deeply frustrating happens when one awakens to the bullshit they've been fed since birth. you begin to see the truth behind the crap that's shoveled at you from the religious folks, who claim suffering ends once you accept that some mythical male died for you and who is now seated in some throne behind beautiful gates next to another male--the BIG male that is............from school teachers who claim truth is to be found inside outdated, biased textbooks..........from political leaders who claim "you can trust us. we have your back."..........from business leaders who claim capitalism is fair and just..........from those morons who love to "blame the victim"............from mental health professionals who focus on putting those who are different, often because they ARE awake, into a mold instead of focusing on "fixing" the insanity of the system.........
here's a yawn article i found this morning for those of you (us) who know we're underpaid. if you are awake, you won't buy into the bullshit. if you are still in 'la la everything is just fine' or 'it must be me' land, you'll likely (sadly) think "hmm, they're right. i'm not underpaid. i was wrong." as i told a former employer, who tried to pull the similar line of crap on me as outlined in this article, "it doesn't matter to me what x down the road, who has the same or similar job, is paid. 45% of my income is going towards my measly little one bedroom apartment. and being i have to help pay for my benefits, at the end of the month, i have some loose change leftover. stop looking at what everyone else is paying and focus on the reality of my life, the reality of housing costs in this area, the reality that income has simply not kept up with existing as a functioning, housed, clothed, insured human being."
here's a yawn article i found this morning for those of you (us) who know we're underpaid. if you are awake, you won't buy into the bullshit. if you are still in 'la la everything is just fine' or 'it must be me' land, you'll likely (sadly) think "hmm, they're right. i'm not underpaid. i was wrong." as i told a former employer, who tried to pull the similar line of crap on me as outlined in this article, "it doesn't matter to me what x down the road, who has the same or similar job, is paid. 45% of my income is going towards my measly little one bedroom apartment. and being i have to help pay for my benefits, at the end of the month, i have some loose change leftover. stop looking at what everyone else is paying and focus on the reality of my life, the reality of housing costs in this area, the reality that income has simply not kept up with existing as a functioning, housed, clothed, insured human being."
3.19.2007
Shock and Awe and the American Psyche
I'll get right to the point. I find it utterly incomprehensible that any sane, loving, caring person can for one second stomach the concept of "shock and awe". Four years ago we were all mislead, lied to by a group of power-hungry, oil-thirsty, control addicts. "Shock And Awe" was the war campaign slogan. To see this blatant display of human evil and violence flash across my computer screen as though the media were simply informing us of some benign happening is something I cannot take. I do not see how ANYONE can.
What in the fucking hell is wrong with our values in this country? Am I missing something? Since when did it become OK to slaughter thousands of civilians FOR NO GOOD REASON? And even IF there were some logical, legitimate reason, when did it become ok to CELEBRATE such an occasion?
I'm about ready to kiss this greedy, profit-mongering, self-centered, rugged individualistic bullshit excuse of a country good-bye. Is it so much to ask for a peaceful life where fairness and honesty are in play? Is it too much to ask for leaders who care more about preserving life for all people above and beyond their addictive need to be seen and hold that gavel of power? Is it too much to ask for work I enjoy that pays a living wage and offers benefits and hours that are doable to my needs? And is it too much to ask for this wage to pay for a home of our own (land included)?
Apparently so. At least right here in the good 'ole us of fucking a. Land of the free, home of the brave. And don't forget, shock and awe.
What in the fucking hell is wrong with our values in this country? Am I missing something? Since when did it become OK to slaughter thousands of civilians FOR NO GOOD REASON? And even IF there were some logical, legitimate reason, when did it become ok to CELEBRATE such an occasion?
I'm about ready to kiss this greedy, profit-mongering, self-centered, rugged individualistic bullshit excuse of a country good-bye. Is it so much to ask for a peaceful life where fairness and honesty are in play? Is it too much to ask for leaders who care more about preserving life for all people above and beyond their addictive need to be seen and hold that gavel of power? Is it too much to ask for work I enjoy that pays a living wage and offers benefits and hours that are doable to my needs? And is it too much to ask for this wage to pay for a home of our own (land included)?
Apparently so. At least right here in the good 'ole us of fucking a. Land of the free, home of the brave. And don't forget, shock and awe.
3.18.2007
weeks worth of obsies and rants
before i launch, i'd like to say i hate the whole google/blogger partnership. i certainly didn't like being forced to create a google account in order to access my blog page.
what a week. ate out a couple of times because my hands were too damn cramped up from editing i perform for 8 measly bucks an hour for the glorified elitist university. first place, taco bell. order got fucked up--two times. i saw and met the kid who was preparing it. he was high as a kite. given his demeanor, it was likely on the herbal stuff. i could have done something but being i know what it's like to work for a large employer, doing the grunt work for a pitiful amount of money, making the whole scenario akin to slave labor, i let it go. hell, i'd have to be high as well to work in fast food. besides, the young kids working there are friendly and don't give adult visitors that "ok hurry up and order" gaze. second place, KFC. home to the "we have jacked up our prices and reduced our portions by 25%. home to the "ok hurry up and order" gazers.
call me old fashioned. i like things to stay the same. both places change their menus too often and fill up the space with massive pictures of supposedly mouth-watering food that doesn't look a damn thing like the real deal. so many visuals overwhelm me. just make a list of what you have and forgo the obnoxious photos, please. anyone remember the movie with michael douglas, falling down? remember the scene where he walks into a burger joint, places an order, sees the "real deal" and demands they make him a burger that looks like the ones in the picture? they refuse until he pulls out a semi-automatic. i love that scene! while i don't support putting guns in the faces of fast food workers, it would be nice if people would refuse the food until it is cooked as advertised.
sigh. all of this just peeved me off, making me think "i need people" to be doing this cooking shit for me. i'm sick of being poor. sick of living in a society that still doesn't really address the issues of poverty. it is fucking DRAINING. and it doesn't help when you live in a city that has few jobs, most paying poverty wages and housing (ownership and rentals) that continue to skyrocket while local city officials think the answer is to build more apartments (cram 'em in like sardines) and "affordable" housing. by that they mean housing that starts around $135,000. still too rich for those making $8-$10/hour, wouldn't you say?
hey, i was published this week. of course it was without permission. a local publisher recently launched a new publication. he had advertised for local freelance writers a few months ago, to which i applied--twice. first attempt, he claims he never received and asked me to resubmit, which i did. despite his promise of "i will get back to you", he failed to do so. just for the heck of it, i decided to check out his rag, er mag. as i read through the "from the publishers desk" section, i noticed words that sounded familiar. i glanced down and saw my name attached to them. the bastard had used a portion of my cover letter/application, whereby i was offering my thoughts on why i believed his publication would be useful for our community, all without my permission! i called the number in the publication, left a message. the publisher called me back and gave me what was essentially a line of shit. first he tried to insist he had the right to use and publish any e-mail that came to him, without permission. lawyers told me that, he said, to which i said "you need to get yourself a new attorney." i said that was a private e-mail i sent you in response to a position. i was a potential employee seeking work with you. do you really think if i were to apply at a local employer, they could use my information as they saw fit for business purposes? hell no!
at first he tried saying he received so many e-mails, he didn't remember who i was. oh but wait, then he vaguely remembered me. then suddenly, WOW--he remembered who i was. he then tried to butter me up by saying "well i had planned on using you but i didn't see a manuscript". he said there was no attachment (amazing how his memory suddenly came back to him, eh?). i said "of course there was no attachment. i sent you a writing sample at the end of the e-mail, as i noted in my opening paragraph." i then said "if you really were interested in me, i would think you would have simply sent me an e-mail, saying no writing sample was included." he also continued his sleazy sales attempt by saying "well i thought i was doing you a favor. you had such nice things to say about my idea i thought people would read your words and say 'wow, what a nice lady she is.'" to that i said "i don't need you convincing people about how nice i am." please. what an i d i o t. but i will give him this--he sure is good at making shit up on the fly. he will go far in publishing.........
what he did was obvious. he used my words to promote his publication. i said as such and said "can you understand how that feels? you failed to keep your word in getting back to me after i applied but then used my words anyway to promote yourself? that falls under the definition of sleazy to me." he apologized--profusely, he said. but i still didn't buy it. he had a smarmy energy to him. i may be a crabby, disgruntled grump, but at least i am real. i don't try and manipulate my way with people with sleazy tactics. but what can i say? he's an editor, a publisher, a salesman. that's how many of them are. the last one i worked for was very much the same way. give you a smile while lying through his teeth in some fashion. and, like this guy, full of excuses.
as i hung up he said "please make sure and read my publication again". i laughed and said "ha" or some such brilliant word.
so what's up in the news department. i'm too lazy to post links, even though i know those draw my readership. you'll just have to google this stuff yourself this time. rosie o'donnell has now come out of the closet--again you could say. this time about 9/11 and what really happened to the WTC buildings. is it a publicity stunt or her own truth? a bit of both? likely it is her own truth that she is handling in such a way as to keep her publicity in a positive or at least respectable light. also in the news is a revisitation to an old story--about the kid from alaska who, in 2002, paraded across the street from his school with a "bong hits 4 jesus" sign. it's going to the supreme court tomorrow. the headline is hysterical. "'bong hits 4 jesus' case goes to high court" jay leno would have a good time with that one. terrorist mastermind KSM is said to have been responsible for planned attacks on the Plaza Bank in Washington State in 2003, according to the Pentagon. only thing is, Plaza Bank didn't open until 2006. ah, what prolonged torture will do to a person. oh well, it's all ok. it will all get covered up or explained in some way. reading all of this ongoing shit has made me realize it's too heavy for me to carry. i have my own life to focus on. it's a world full of lying pigs for sure oh but wait, we cannot use the word pigs anymore now because it may offend the muslims. google that one too. if you find nothing, look it up on david icke's website. politically correct insanity only furthering the move to censor us all, irregardless of how brilliant or stupid we may sound.
we watched the first season of "weeds" on dvd. i have mixed thoughts on it. there are real issues for sure, but it seems most of the emphasis is on fucking others and getting high. maybe that's what they have to do in the subarbs to stay sane? i guess if i lived in that mold i'd be insane, too--just in a different way than i feel i am now.........the best part of the series is the theme song. and they all live in little boxes made out of ticky tacky and they all look the same.
what a week. ate out a couple of times because my hands were too damn cramped up from editing i perform for 8 measly bucks an hour for the glorified elitist university. first place, taco bell. order got fucked up--two times. i saw and met the kid who was preparing it. he was high as a kite. given his demeanor, it was likely on the herbal stuff. i could have done something but being i know what it's like to work for a large employer, doing the grunt work for a pitiful amount of money, making the whole scenario akin to slave labor, i let it go. hell, i'd have to be high as well to work in fast food. besides, the young kids working there are friendly and don't give adult visitors that "ok hurry up and order" gaze. second place, KFC. home to the "we have jacked up our prices and reduced our portions by 25%. home to the "ok hurry up and order" gazers.
call me old fashioned. i like things to stay the same. both places change their menus too often and fill up the space with massive pictures of supposedly mouth-watering food that doesn't look a damn thing like the real deal. so many visuals overwhelm me. just make a list of what you have and forgo the obnoxious photos, please. anyone remember the movie with michael douglas, falling down? remember the scene where he walks into a burger joint, places an order, sees the "real deal" and demands they make him a burger that looks like the ones in the picture? they refuse until he pulls out a semi-automatic. i love that scene! while i don't support putting guns in the faces of fast food workers, it would be nice if people would refuse the food until it is cooked as advertised.
sigh. all of this just peeved me off, making me think "i need people" to be doing this cooking shit for me. i'm sick of being poor. sick of living in a society that still doesn't really address the issues of poverty. it is fucking DRAINING. and it doesn't help when you live in a city that has few jobs, most paying poverty wages and housing (ownership and rentals) that continue to skyrocket while local city officials think the answer is to build more apartments (cram 'em in like sardines) and "affordable" housing. by that they mean housing that starts around $135,000. still too rich for those making $8-$10/hour, wouldn't you say?
hey, i was published this week. of course it was without permission. a local publisher recently launched a new publication. he had advertised for local freelance writers a few months ago, to which i applied--twice. first attempt, he claims he never received and asked me to resubmit, which i did. despite his promise of "i will get back to you", he failed to do so. just for the heck of it, i decided to check out his rag, er mag. as i read through the "from the publishers desk" section, i noticed words that sounded familiar. i glanced down and saw my name attached to them. the bastard had used a portion of my cover letter/application, whereby i was offering my thoughts on why i believed his publication would be useful for our community, all without my permission! i called the number in the publication, left a message. the publisher called me back and gave me what was essentially a line of shit. first he tried to insist he had the right to use and publish any e-mail that came to him, without permission. lawyers told me that, he said, to which i said "you need to get yourself a new attorney." i said that was a private e-mail i sent you in response to a position. i was a potential employee seeking work with you. do you really think if i were to apply at a local employer, they could use my information as they saw fit for business purposes? hell no!
at first he tried saying he received so many e-mails, he didn't remember who i was. oh but wait, then he vaguely remembered me. then suddenly, WOW--he remembered who i was. he then tried to butter me up by saying "well i had planned on using you but i didn't see a manuscript". he said there was no attachment (amazing how his memory suddenly came back to him, eh?). i said "of course there was no attachment. i sent you a writing sample at the end of the e-mail, as i noted in my opening paragraph." i then said "if you really were interested in me, i would think you would have simply sent me an e-mail, saying no writing sample was included." he also continued his sleazy sales attempt by saying "well i thought i was doing you a favor. you had such nice things to say about my idea i thought people would read your words and say 'wow, what a nice lady she is.'" to that i said "i don't need you convincing people about how nice i am." please. what an i d i o t. but i will give him this--he sure is good at making shit up on the fly. he will go far in publishing.........
what he did was obvious. he used my words to promote his publication. i said as such and said "can you understand how that feels? you failed to keep your word in getting back to me after i applied but then used my words anyway to promote yourself? that falls under the definition of sleazy to me." he apologized--profusely, he said. but i still didn't buy it. he had a smarmy energy to him. i may be a crabby, disgruntled grump, but at least i am real. i don't try and manipulate my way with people with sleazy tactics. but what can i say? he's an editor, a publisher, a salesman. that's how many of them are. the last one i worked for was very much the same way. give you a smile while lying through his teeth in some fashion. and, like this guy, full of excuses.
as i hung up he said "please make sure and read my publication again". i laughed and said "ha" or some such brilliant word.
so what's up in the news department. i'm too lazy to post links, even though i know those draw my readership. you'll just have to google this stuff yourself this time. rosie o'donnell has now come out of the closet--again you could say. this time about 9/11 and what really happened to the WTC buildings. is it a publicity stunt or her own truth? a bit of both? likely it is her own truth that she is handling in such a way as to keep her publicity in a positive or at least respectable light. also in the news is a revisitation to an old story--about the kid from alaska who, in 2002, paraded across the street from his school with a "bong hits 4 jesus" sign. it's going to the supreme court tomorrow. the headline is hysterical. "'bong hits 4 jesus' case goes to high court" jay leno would have a good time with that one. terrorist mastermind KSM is said to have been responsible for planned attacks on the Plaza Bank in Washington State in 2003, according to the Pentagon. only thing is, Plaza Bank didn't open until 2006. ah, what prolonged torture will do to a person. oh well, it's all ok. it will all get covered up or explained in some way. reading all of this ongoing shit has made me realize it's too heavy for me to carry. i have my own life to focus on. it's a world full of lying pigs for sure oh but wait, we cannot use the word pigs anymore now because it may offend the muslims. google that one too. if you find nothing, look it up on david icke's website. politically correct insanity only furthering the move to censor us all, irregardless of how brilliant or stupid we may sound.
we watched the first season of "weeds" on dvd. i have mixed thoughts on it. there are real issues for sure, but it seems most of the emphasis is on fucking others and getting high. maybe that's what they have to do in the subarbs to stay sane? i guess if i lived in that mold i'd be insane, too--just in a different way than i feel i am now.........the best part of the series is the theme song. and they all live in little boxes made out of ticky tacky and they all look the same.
3.07.2007
Google "Kip Schoning"
a week or so ago i posted a piece about foreclosures in the corvallis/benton county area. one of the persons who has at least one such property is local real estate "professional" (a term i use loosely), kip schoning. today i decided to google his name, see what else i could find. wow! seems as though greed has caught up with mr. schoning and some old fashioned karma is running after him faster than a nascar driver. here's just a sampling of what i found:
http://portland.indymedia.org/en/2006/01/331878.shtml
http://www.ci.corvallis.or.us/council/mail-archive/ward1/msg07301.html
http://www.topix.net/content/cj/9472562118916414048
http://www.indymedia.org/en/localfeatureswire/archive367.shtml (scroll down about 1/3 to get the story)
as i said in my original post, if you see a red door with a sign out front that says either "for rent" or "cash for your property"--RUN AWAY!
http://portland.indymedia.org/en/2006/01/331878.shtml
http://www.ci.corvallis.or.us/council/mail-archive/ward1/msg07301.html
http://www.topix.net/content/cj/9472562118916414048
http://www.indymedia.org/en/localfeatureswire/archive367.shtml (scroll down about 1/3 to get the story)
as i said in my original post, if you see a red door with a sign out front that says either "for rent" or "cash for your property"--RUN AWAY!
2.28.2007
in search of a couch
My spouse and I are looking for a couch. We prefer a solid color, brushed/soft fabric, green or burgundy or purple/plum color. Must be comfortable--NO SAGGING. We can haul and are willing to spend up to $125. If anybody in Corvallis is looking to sell such a couch, please leave me a comment. Please help! We've been sitting on a worn out, ugly plaid couch with scratchy, torn up fabric for years and have finally saved up enough to get us something nice. It's been so uncomfortable, we've had to put plywood under the cushions. That helped for awhile but now the padding is worn out, so sitting on it is literally a pain in the ass. We've resorted to putting a comforter on it for some extra padding. Ugh. : )
you say you want a revolution........
i love the beatles. i love their music. and while i love love love their song "revolution", i've always had issue with the line "but if you wanna talk about destruction, don't you know that you can count me out." ok, maybe not always. in the past, back when my wages were decent and health care and housing affordability wasn't a really big issue, i loved the song in its entirety. i believed the problem was that i needed to free my mind instead. and i could resist the need to revolt in an aggressive way because, afterall, don'tcha know it's gonna be allright.
well "allright" has yet to happen and i have grown up and out of the new age/hippie la la land to know that freedom is not just a state of mind. and today i am tired of hearing rich types spew such mantras. being poor in america 30 plus years ago was a lot different than it is today. take my dad. he grew up in the 40's, poor as you can imagine. his mama worked part-time in a dry cleaning facility. papa was a jeweler, who oddly enough in his eccentric ways, refused money for his services but rather, suits. despite all of this, they owned a home. it wasn't glamourous by any means. in fact, it was old and run down. but they owned it and the land that it sat on. today if you are poor, you can barely afford to rent a home much less own it. bottom line, incomes have not kept up with the cost of, well, everything. back then you could be poor and yet still own a house and get by with just one person working.
today as i wrote out my bills, i longed to write "electricity monopoly" and "insurance monopoly" in the "pay to" section. and one look at my city of corvallis water bill brought forth a scream. $58 fucking dollars?! upon closer inspection i noticed, quite inconspicuously, a little note that said as of february 1st, water would be rising approximately 4.3% per month. nice of them to tell us this after the fact. 4.3%. hmmmm. my hourly rate did jump up last month. let me calculate how much................. .025%. water bill, up 4.3%. electricity up another 7% this past year (approximately 35% in the past 5 years). rent, 10%. my income, up .025%. spouses, up .050%. yep, seems fair to me!
i wonder if john lennon is paying attention. if so, i wonder what he would have to say today.......
well "allright" has yet to happen and i have grown up and out of the new age/hippie la la land to know that freedom is not just a state of mind. and today i am tired of hearing rich types spew such mantras. being poor in america 30 plus years ago was a lot different than it is today. take my dad. he grew up in the 40's, poor as you can imagine. his mama worked part-time in a dry cleaning facility. papa was a jeweler, who oddly enough in his eccentric ways, refused money for his services but rather, suits. despite all of this, they owned a home. it wasn't glamourous by any means. in fact, it was old and run down. but they owned it and the land that it sat on. today if you are poor, you can barely afford to rent a home much less own it. bottom line, incomes have not kept up with the cost of, well, everything. back then you could be poor and yet still own a house and get by with just one person working.
today as i wrote out my bills, i longed to write "electricity monopoly" and "insurance monopoly" in the "pay to" section. and one look at my city of corvallis water bill brought forth a scream. $58 fucking dollars?! upon closer inspection i noticed, quite inconspicuously, a little note that said as of february 1st, water would be rising approximately 4.3% per month. nice of them to tell us this after the fact. 4.3%. hmmmm. my hourly rate did jump up last month. let me calculate how much................. .025%. water bill, up 4.3%. electricity up another 7% this past year (approximately 35% in the past 5 years). rent, 10%. my income, up .025%. spouses, up .050%. yep, seems fair to me!
i wonder if john lennon is paying attention. if so, i wonder what he would have to say today.......
2.25.2007
a leak in the housing bubble here in benton county
a visit to foreclosures.com shows there may, at least, finally be a noticable leak in the housing bubble. housing in benton county, in particular corvallis, is so obscenely over-priced. i first visited the foreclosure website around 4 years ago. at that time, there was only a couple of foreclosures in corvallis and one in philomath. today? 14. 26 more are in preforeclosure status. one of the sufferers? kip schoning, local real estate mogul turned slumlord. ah, karma is a beautiful thing, ain't it? if you see a property with a red door and a for rent sign, run as fast as you can, far far away. my spouse and i have checked out several of these properties in the past when we have been in the market for a home to rent. we walked away from each property, laughing. NO THANK YOU in one of the homes, the floor actually slanted. i remember thinking how in the hell can this be legal to rent?
while a part of me doesn't wish to see people lose their homes, the part of me that longs to own a home of my own and is oh so tired of being pissed as hell that despite both my spouse and i working we are not able to afford one, well, i want to see something change. i want to see the bubble burst (or at least spring a leak) and home prices brought back down to where they should have remained--keeping up with inflation. i know that would mean a lot of financial suffering for many, but hell, that has been my life for long enough. if people have to deal with loss so that folks like myself and my spouse can finally get into a home of our own, then so be it. i've been screaming for years my ideas on sharing the wealth, my thoughts about balance and how economies collapse when they are out of balance for so long. who has listened? certainly no one of real importance (to the world that is).
one day, perhaps very soon, people will remember my words and they will say "maybe she had a point. maybe we should have listened to her."
while a part of me doesn't wish to see people lose their homes, the part of me that longs to own a home of my own and is oh so tired of being pissed as hell that despite both my spouse and i working we are not able to afford one, well, i want to see something change. i want to see the bubble burst (or at least spring a leak) and home prices brought back down to where they should have remained--keeping up with inflation. i know that would mean a lot of financial suffering for many, but hell, that has been my life for long enough. if people have to deal with loss so that folks like myself and my spouse can finally get into a home of our own, then so be it. i've been screaming for years my ideas on sharing the wealth, my thoughts about balance and how economies collapse when they are out of balance for so long. who has listened? certainly no one of real importance (to the world that is).
one day, perhaps very soon, people will remember my words and they will say "maybe she had a point. maybe we should have listened to her."
2.23.2007
a modicum of hope for the MSM
ok, so it's a local news station. hope is hope i figure. i have no link for this given i just witnessed it on tv less than 15 minutes ago. eugene's KMTR news station aired a report on this evening's 5pm broadcast about the x-ray scanning machine at the arizona airport--the one that gives screeners an intimate view of what's underneath our clothing. renee mccullough, one of the news anchors, was covering the piece and added that two other airports were considering adding this technology sometime in the upcoming year. i don't recall what the other two airports are as i wasn't paying close attention. however, what she added at the end prompted me into alert mode. she said, "well, that is three places i won't be traveling to this year." wow. a sign of defiance. it's about time. "rock on sister!" i said to the tv screen, raising a saluted fist into the air as a sign of solidarity.
the look on her face was a combination of "woops" and "darn right". her co-anchor smiled as well in a way that said "yep, she said it allright" and "ok what do we do next".
if we all say "no" to traveling to airports that use this invasive means of looking for box cutters, etc., they will have no choice but to listen to us. start a new trend. "if you wish to view my private cohorts, i won't be passing through your airports."
the look on her face was a combination of "woops" and "darn right". her co-anchor smiled as well in a way that said "yep, she said it allright" and "ok what do we do next".
if we all say "no" to traveling to airports that use this invasive means of looking for box cutters, etc., they will have no choice but to listen to us. start a new trend. "if you wish to view my private cohorts, i won't be passing through your airports."
2.20.2007
little bit o' this, little bit o' that........as heard on talk radio
i haven't listened to talk radio in years. i used to listen to it at a former place of employment to pass the time. lately, given the tedious and boring nature of my current job, i realized i needed some outside distraction to make the time pass quicker. thus i began listening to talk radio again. i was hoping for more progressive or at least more balanced talk. i searched and searched. not even npr could enlighten or soothe me........ if it's possible, these freaks have become even more ridiculous in their babbling barrage of bullshit.
1) john edwards came out today and announced israel is the greatest threat to world peace. according to michael savage, anyone who supports that position is an anti-semite. did you know that? i'm jewish (by blood only) and while i can't quite say if they are THE greatest threat, they certainly don't score any bonus points for peace with me. (i'm not a fan of john edwards but i am silently cheering him for having the balls to bring the other side of middle east politics to light.)
2) rush limbaugh has been nominated for a nobel peace prize. i know, i know. are you peeing your pants yet from hysterical bursts of laughter? i haven't heard yet for what and that continues to be my question. i'm thinking it's a public relations ploy. if anything, it gives me a good case of the giggles whenever i hear him plug the news. the day rush is a nobel peace prize winner is the day i convert to his brilliant political philosophy.
3) our own albany/corvallis company morse bros. is changing its name to "knife river". (check on the spelling if you wish. i'm too lazy.) knife river is a mega corporation based out of north dakota. they currently "own" (a polite term for "sleazy takeover") 60 other companies. they have owned morse. bros. for the past 9 years, but for some reason, are only now deciding to change the name. why? well according to morse bros. it is to "better serve our customers". ok and how many people are going to buy that with a smile and a nod? watch out all vendors and customers of morse. bros. things are about ready to go even more corporate on your watch and dollar.
4) our brilliant oregon legislatures have decided not to pass legislation making it a traffic offense to talk on the cell phone whilst driving. instead, they decided on a bill that said police may ticket a driver if they are noticeably distracted as a result of talking on their cell phone. now see, the thing is, police can already ticket a motorist for showing signs of being distracted whilst driving, irregardless of what the driver's chosen "distracting" activity is. no way will this change the behavior of stupid ass motorists who "think" they can drive and talk at the same time. while i dislike government intrusion, after having experienced numerous near-miss collisions myself and having witnessed numerous near-miss collisions not to mention the numerous times i have seen people run red lights and stop signs, all resulting from people driving and talking, i was in strong support of ticketing these morons.
5) and once again, the people in the state of oregon are crying how we need more money, more taxes raised, for our children, our schools. give me a break. tax the corporations at the level they deserve to be and you'll have your funding. until then, quit expecting your neighbors to cough it up. start running the schools like any other business and STOP running it like a beaucratic governmental nightmare that it is. lookit the truth, people. and speak up about it. this ongoing whine of "we need more money" has yet to fix the fiasco of public education. i had the privilege to speak with and interview the former assistant superintendent of corvallis public schools a few years ago when i was a freelance writer for a local publication. also sitting in on the meeting was someone from accounting. i was shown a chart. 85 cents for every dollar given to education goes to teacher's salaries and benefits. that's right. EIGHTY-FIVE CENTS. that means a whopping 15 cents goes to our kids. a large part of the problem was, if you haven't already guessed, the huge increase in health insurance coverage.
6) lots of backlash aimed at and against illegal immigrants that is, in my opinion, misguided. lets throw it where it belongs... on the employers who hire these folks... on government officials, who now brilliantly are discussing whether to give these folks social security and workers comp. benefits. but of course what the people don't want to see, or won't see, or can't see because they're too glued to the babble that comes out of the mouths of the MSM and talk radio garbage, is that our government obviously wants these people infiltrating into our country. there's money to be made from hiring an illegal. big biz and uncle sam know that and thus, will allow it to continue. just follow the money and you'll find the answers. and given the upcoming North American Union, a beautiful marriage of america, canada and mexico, we will only see more of the same.
6) did you know that america is going to hell quickly, in large part, because gays and lesbians are allowed to continue living together and are allowed to adopt? i did not know that. dang. and here i foolishly thought it was due to government corruption and big business greed. whew. at least now i know who to blame. ranting about uncle sam and his mistress big "bosom" biz was getting very tiring!
1) john edwards came out today and announced israel is the greatest threat to world peace. according to michael savage, anyone who supports that position is an anti-semite. did you know that? i'm jewish (by blood only) and while i can't quite say if they are THE greatest threat, they certainly don't score any bonus points for peace with me. (i'm not a fan of john edwards but i am silently cheering him for having the balls to bring the other side of middle east politics to light.)
2) rush limbaugh has been nominated for a nobel peace prize. i know, i know. are you peeing your pants yet from hysterical bursts of laughter? i haven't heard yet for what and that continues to be my question. i'm thinking it's a public relations ploy. if anything, it gives me a good case of the giggles whenever i hear him plug the news. the day rush is a nobel peace prize winner is the day i convert to his brilliant political philosophy.
3) our own albany/corvallis company morse bros. is changing its name to "knife river". (check on the spelling if you wish. i'm too lazy.) knife river is a mega corporation based out of north dakota. they currently "own" (a polite term for "sleazy takeover") 60 other companies. they have owned morse. bros. for the past 9 years, but for some reason, are only now deciding to change the name. why? well according to morse bros. it is to "better serve our customers". ok and how many people are going to buy that with a smile and a nod? watch out all vendors and customers of morse. bros. things are about ready to go even more corporate on your watch and dollar.
4) our brilliant oregon legislatures have decided not to pass legislation making it a traffic offense to talk on the cell phone whilst driving. instead, they decided on a bill that said police may ticket a driver if they are noticeably distracted as a result of talking on their cell phone. now see, the thing is, police can already ticket a motorist for showing signs of being distracted whilst driving, irregardless of what the driver's chosen "distracting" activity is. no way will this change the behavior of stupid ass motorists who "think" they can drive and talk at the same time. while i dislike government intrusion, after having experienced numerous near-miss collisions myself and having witnessed numerous near-miss collisions not to mention the numerous times i have seen people run red lights and stop signs, all resulting from people driving and talking, i was in strong support of ticketing these morons.
5) and once again, the people in the state of oregon are crying how we need more money, more taxes raised, for our children, our schools. give me a break. tax the corporations at the level they deserve to be and you'll have your funding. until then, quit expecting your neighbors to cough it up. start running the schools like any other business and STOP running it like a beaucratic governmental nightmare that it is. lookit the truth, people. and speak up about it. this ongoing whine of "we need more money" has yet to fix the fiasco of public education. i had the privilege to speak with and interview the former assistant superintendent of corvallis public schools a few years ago when i was a freelance writer for a local publication. also sitting in on the meeting was someone from accounting. i was shown a chart. 85 cents for every dollar given to education goes to teacher's salaries and benefits. that's right. EIGHTY-FIVE CENTS. that means a whopping 15 cents goes to our kids. a large part of the problem was, if you haven't already guessed, the huge increase in health insurance coverage.
6) lots of backlash aimed at and against illegal immigrants that is, in my opinion, misguided. lets throw it where it belongs... on the employers who hire these folks... on government officials, who now brilliantly are discussing whether to give these folks social security and workers comp. benefits. but of course what the people don't want to see, or won't see, or can't see because they're too glued to the babble that comes out of the mouths of the MSM and talk radio garbage, is that our government obviously wants these people infiltrating into our country. there's money to be made from hiring an illegal. big biz and uncle sam know that and thus, will allow it to continue. just follow the money and you'll find the answers. and given the upcoming North American Union, a beautiful marriage of america, canada and mexico, we will only see more of the same.
6) did you know that america is going to hell quickly, in large part, because gays and lesbians are allowed to continue living together and are allowed to adopt? i did not know that. dang. and here i foolishly thought it was due to government corruption and big business greed. whew. at least now i know who to blame. ranting about uncle sam and his mistress big "bosom" biz was getting very tiring!
2.15.2007
workin' for a living......
i'm ready for a revolution. let's do it. i'm sick of slaving away for a pitiful wage. i'm especially sick of working for a wealthy university who will not pay me a living wage. i have realized a growing apathy with the work i perform. even though my work benefits and helps the disabled student, i'm tired of working the hours i do only to see the reality of my meager paycheck.
this all hit me like a brick wall recently as i added up my hours. my job has finally, after sticking it out for over a year, turned into the kind of job i was told it would in terms of hours. as i excitedly added up my hours i multiplied them by my hourly rate. my excitement was quickly deflated as i saw the amount. i worked this fucking hard for this many hours and this is all i am going to have to show for it? what's frustrating is that if i were doing this same kind of work for say the forestry or engineering departments, my pay would be double what it is. it's all on what we value and that is money and what stands a better chance of bringing in money to the glorified university: science and technology departments or disability services.
i worked under the table yesterday for someone i know who owns a flower shop. i delivered a lot of beautiful flower arrangements in some big ass (and heavy!) vases yesterday. and again, considering the hours i worked and the type of work i was doing (you try loading and unloading a massive arrangement of exotic flowers out of a small sedan), when i added up the amount i would be receiving, i felt deflated. apathetic. the amount of money people in this town spent alone on flowers was in a way, a bit sickening. i felt like a hypocrite passing the old man on the street, hauling his collection of aluminum cans as i delivered my arrangement of flowers to the next unsuspecting customer. that $50 could have provided that man with 2 weeks worth of food.
that's the kinds of things i think about. and it is that kind of thinking that has prompted my spouse and i to stop honoring the retail frenzy holidays. yesterday was the first valentines day that we didn't spend a dime on each other (not that we have a dime to spend on one another this year). in a way it felt strange, but it also felt empowering. it's just one more moment in our awakening, where we realize living life on autopilot and following the crowd isn't what it's cracked up to be. we are more the types to think "ok so that is how things are. it sucks. how can things be better?"
working for a living is certainly at the top of our agenda. how can we create an income that provides us what we need and desire plus doesn't hurt our bodies in the process. (my spouses position requires a lot of lifting, bending, stooping and standing on hard surfaces. my position requires a lot of repetitive movement with a mouse. both of us deal with physical problems as a result.) i certainly don't buy into the 40 hour work week. i never have. it's a ridiculous amount of time to put into something that most of us don't particularly enjoy, taking us away from the very people we have chosen to be with, the very people with whome we would much prefer to be spending the bulk of our time. give me 20 hours a week doing something i love that pays me what i desire and determine i am worthy of. people have a problem with that concept though. i cannot tell you how many times i have been told i am lazy or demanding and my very favorite, "but nina, that isn't how things are." as though the "how things are" is some rule forever cast in stone, never to be touched. please. it's all simply what people have created it to be. and as i always say (to the annoyance of some), "we can create something new together if we really want."
i ask myself "why did i come here? what is my purpose?" quite often these days. while i am not a religious person, i do believe we go on to a different level of existance. i believe in freedom of choice in this "afterworld" and i believe i made the choice to come here as i did (although i have come to believe i am always in a state of "evolvement" and as such was under some real illusions as to my full potential even in this afterworld including the concepts of reincarnation and karma). now the questions have become "WHY?" and "what am i here to do?" i don't know yet but i hope to know soon because i simply am not enjoying my life the way i know i could. and while i have some modicum of hope that there will be changes in the system (i.e.--wealth will be returned to the citizens who need it most, housing and health care will be brought back into a balance so all can afford, employment will be abundant and will provide living wage for all and if this isn't the case, there will be income assistance programs, etc. etc. etc), i am fairly certain this won't be happening in my lifetime. even the most "progressive" of folks still cling to the notions of rugged individualism and capitalism. but i know that no civilization lasts forever. no system, especially a system that creates so much unbalance, will last long without collapsing. my concern, fear actually, is that if this does happen in my lifetime, another system equally as unfair and lacking in values such as respect and sharing will be created.
but that doesn't have to be the case so long as people open their minds to the knowings and desires of the heart and soul. that takes time, something that is indeed lacking in today's modern way of living. our elected officials have failed to address this. the church has failed to address this. business has failed to address this as has the media. our time is focused on things that keep us away from these knowings and desires. but they're still there. and it is my wish for humanity to open up to them and claim them and unite together in a strong spirit of love for change. i'm oh so very ready and oh so very willing. are you?
this all hit me like a brick wall recently as i added up my hours. my job has finally, after sticking it out for over a year, turned into the kind of job i was told it would in terms of hours. as i excitedly added up my hours i multiplied them by my hourly rate. my excitement was quickly deflated as i saw the amount. i worked this fucking hard for this many hours and this is all i am going to have to show for it? what's frustrating is that if i were doing this same kind of work for say the forestry or engineering departments, my pay would be double what it is. it's all on what we value and that is money and what stands a better chance of bringing in money to the glorified university: science and technology departments or disability services.
i worked under the table yesterday for someone i know who owns a flower shop. i delivered a lot of beautiful flower arrangements in some big ass (and heavy!) vases yesterday. and again, considering the hours i worked and the type of work i was doing (you try loading and unloading a massive arrangement of exotic flowers out of a small sedan), when i added up the amount i would be receiving, i felt deflated. apathetic. the amount of money people in this town spent alone on flowers was in a way, a bit sickening. i felt like a hypocrite passing the old man on the street, hauling his collection of aluminum cans as i delivered my arrangement of flowers to the next unsuspecting customer. that $50 could have provided that man with 2 weeks worth of food.
that's the kinds of things i think about. and it is that kind of thinking that has prompted my spouse and i to stop honoring the retail frenzy holidays. yesterday was the first valentines day that we didn't spend a dime on each other (not that we have a dime to spend on one another this year). in a way it felt strange, but it also felt empowering. it's just one more moment in our awakening, where we realize living life on autopilot and following the crowd isn't what it's cracked up to be. we are more the types to think "ok so that is how things are. it sucks. how can things be better?"
working for a living is certainly at the top of our agenda. how can we create an income that provides us what we need and desire plus doesn't hurt our bodies in the process. (my spouses position requires a lot of lifting, bending, stooping and standing on hard surfaces. my position requires a lot of repetitive movement with a mouse. both of us deal with physical problems as a result.) i certainly don't buy into the 40 hour work week. i never have. it's a ridiculous amount of time to put into something that most of us don't particularly enjoy, taking us away from the very people we have chosen to be with, the very people with whome we would much prefer to be spending the bulk of our time. give me 20 hours a week doing something i love that pays me what i desire and determine i am worthy of. people have a problem with that concept though. i cannot tell you how many times i have been told i am lazy or demanding and my very favorite, "but nina, that isn't how things are." as though the "how things are" is some rule forever cast in stone, never to be touched. please. it's all simply what people have created it to be. and as i always say (to the annoyance of some), "we can create something new together if we really want."
i ask myself "why did i come here? what is my purpose?" quite often these days. while i am not a religious person, i do believe we go on to a different level of existance. i believe in freedom of choice in this "afterworld" and i believe i made the choice to come here as i did (although i have come to believe i am always in a state of "evolvement" and as such was under some real illusions as to my full potential even in this afterworld including the concepts of reincarnation and karma). now the questions have become "WHY?" and "what am i here to do?" i don't know yet but i hope to know soon because i simply am not enjoying my life the way i know i could. and while i have some modicum of hope that there will be changes in the system (i.e.--wealth will be returned to the citizens who need it most, housing and health care will be brought back into a balance so all can afford, employment will be abundant and will provide living wage for all and if this isn't the case, there will be income assistance programs, etc. etc. etc), i am fairly certain this won't be happening in my lifetime. even the most "progressive" of folks still cling to the notions of rugged individualism and capitalism. but i know that no civilization lasts forever. no system, especially a system that creates so much unbalance, will last long without collapsing. my concern, fear actually, is that if this does happen in my lifetime, another system equally as unfair and lacking in values such as respect and sharing will be created.
but that doesn't have to be the case so long as people open their minds to the knowings and desires of the heart and soul. that takes time, something that is indeed lacking in today's modern way of living. our elected officials have failed to address this. the church has failed to address this. business has failed to address this as has the media. our time is focused on things that keep us away from these knowings and desires. but they're still there. and it is my wish for humanity to open up to them and claim them and unite together in a strong spirit of love for change. i'm oh so very ready and oh so very willing. are you?
2.07.2007
summing up global warming......
........as heard last night on coast to coast radio. cannot recall the name of the guest--i tuned in late and only listened for about 15 minutes. the discussion at the moment was global warming, the on-going debates people and the science community engage in--is it a natural cycle or is it human caused. as this guest said, it doesn't matter at this point. he nailed it when he said "the air is a mess. we need to clean it up."
2.04.2007
Just An Example of What Greed Has Done To Our Beautiful Planet
in our species non-stop quest for wealth, we once again see how the need for greed can cause us to do terribly abusive things to the world around us. in this case, people are cutting down trees, destroying what once was a pristine rain forest, in order to claim a few nuggets of gold. it appears as though most of these folks are poor to begin with so their plight, i can honestly and heartfully understand. i know from experience the desperation one feels when living in poverty. i know the stress and the fatigue that goes hand-in-hand with living in poverty. i know the frustration and the anger one feels when watching others bank accounts go through the roof while you work every bit as hard just to make enough to pay the rent and utilities. deep inside you know "this isn't right." and most importantly, "things don't have to be this way."
i want to believe that if i were faced with an opportunity like this, i wouldn't throw my respect for this planet out the window, the way so many of the already wealthy/elite have done. what happens when this forest has been forever destroyed? has our search for riches rendered us blind and worse, utterly uncaring as to the long term consequences? what good is all that wealth when our planet is no longer able to sustain our lifestyles and begins bumping us off (as she is already showing signs of doing)?
i swear to the cosmos we are desperately in need of a new way of living, a new way of being. but first comes first. we need a new way of THINKING.
it's easy to say we need to take away the wealth from the elitists and redistribute it. it's easy to think changing political figures will equally solve the problem. but change has to come from awakening to something new and different, to knowing things can be different. something that doesn't come from inside a book or church. something that comes from within. i'm not a religious person for sure, but when i think about this, that is how i define "god". that part of us that has always been there. that part of us that isn't influenced by the rules of our families, our communities, our society. it's something that cannot be defined. but when you are in tune with it, you know it ain't going anywhere. it's solid. and it always has concern for the well being of everyone and everything. always.
we've lost that. we've lost it in our quest for more. we've lost it in our desire to please those who tell us they are in charge. we've lost it from being told who are are and who we aren't. we've lost it in our anger and in our rage. we've lost it in our apathy and sense of powerlessness, instead thinking of "that's the way things are" as something that is permanent.
i love the song "amazing grace". while i can do without the phrase "that saved a wretch like me", there is an energy that song talks about--that sense of grace. that sense of remembering who you are. it is going to take us remembering that if we are ever to actually see the kind of world we all like to talk about: a world of peace for all life forms.
i want to believe that if i were faced with an opportunity like this, i wouldn't throw my respect for this planet out the window, the way so many of the already wealthy/elite have done. what happens when this forest has been forever destroyed? has our search for riches rendered us blind and worse, utterly uncaring as to the long term consequences? what good is all that wealth when our planet is no longer able to sustain our lifestyles and begins bumping us off (as she is already showing signs of doing)?
i swear to the cosmos we are desperately in need of a new way of living, a new way of being. but first comes first. we need a new way of THINKING.
it's easy to say we need to take away the wealth from the elitists and redistribute it. it's easy to think changing political figures will equally solve the problem. but change has to come from awakening to something new and different, to knowing things can be different. something that doesn't come from inside a book or church. something that comes from within. i'm not a religious person for sure, but when i think about this, that is how i define "god". that part of us that has always been there. that part of us that isn't influenced by the rules of our families, our communities, our society. it's something that cannot be defined. but when you are in tune with it, you know it ain't going anywhere. it's solid. and it always has concern for the well being of everyone and everything. always.
we've lost that. we've lost it in our quest for more. we've lost it in our desire to please those who tell us they are in charge. we've lost it from being told who are are and who we aren't. we've lost it in our anger and in our rage. we've lost it in our apathy and sense of powerlessness, instead thinking of "that's the way things are" as something that is permanent.
i love the song "amazing grace". while i can do without the phrase "that saved a wretch like me", there is an energy that song talks about--that sense of grace. that sense of remembering who you are. it is going to take us remembering that if we are ever to actually see the kind of world we all like to talk about: a world of peace for all life forms.
2.01.2007
Are You A Disgruntled Worker?
if so, i have just the website for you. come on all you oregonians. come one come all, all of you willamette valley workers. visit and vent, all you under-paid workers of corvallis, albany, portland, salem, eugene. let the world know how truly disgruntled you are. release some pressure without doing something that will land you in jail. stick it to the "man" who sticks it to you everyday.
ok, i've run out of cliches. go have some fun!
nina
ok, i've run out of cliches. go have some fun!
nina
1.31.2007
If You Could See What I See
a little spin on sylvia brown's book.........
i see a world where people have forgotten who they are
i see a world where money has become more valuable than people
i see a world where the belief is war is necessary
i see a world full of "adults" who haven't a clue how to compromise, work through their differences or how to accept those differences
i see a world where acts of corruption and crime go ignored while acts of dissent are punished
i see a world where the personal lives of celebrities are more newsworthy than the suffering of persons in war torn countries
i see a world where people pray to a god they think is the right god of choice
i see a world where people worship this god then abuse, neglect and kill themselves and one another
i see a world where people blame a being they call satan whenever a human being does something horrifying
i see a world where energy sources such as wind, solar and the ocean have yet to be embraced in the way nuclear, coal and oil are
i see this world and i cry.
i see this world and i scream in rage.
then i remember again who i am.
and i cry some more.
and i rage some more.
and then i feel a sense of hope.
and i continue on.
i see a world where people have forgotten who they are
i see a world where money has become more valuable than people
i see a world where the belief is war is necessary
i see a world full of "adults" who haven't a clue how to compromise, work through their differences or how to accept those differences
i see a world where acts of corruption and crime go ignored while acts of dissent are punished
i see a world where the personal lives of celebrities are more newsworthy than the suffering of persons in war torn countries
i see a world where people pray to a god they think is the right god of choice
i see a world where people worship this god then abuse, neglect and kill themselves and one another
i see a world where people blame a being they call satan whenever a human being does something horrifying
i see a world where energy sources such as wind, solar and the ocean have yet to be embraced in the way nuclear, coal and oil are
i see this world and i cry.
i see this world and i scream in rage.
then i remember again who i am.
and i cry some more.
and i rage some more.
and then i feel a sense of hope.
and i continue on.
1.21.2007
an abused little girl without a real voice
i have a dear friend who lives in colorado. she is trying to regain full custody of one of her children who has been terribly abused by the father. it is such a long, detailed, insanely frustrating story, i'll skip the details and instead ask if there is anyone who knows of a good attorney, experienced with the family court system, who, most importantly, believes in LETTING THE CHILD HAVE A VOICE and who is licensed to practice in Colorado. i have seen the changes in this child since she has been with her dad. she is overweight. she deals with chronic urinary tract infections/problems. she is depressed--as she told me--her hobbies are watching tv and sleeping. this from a little girl who used to love soccer and riding her bike. she is also acts out a lot in these terrifying fits of rage and has become very clingy, especially towards males who show any sign of loving affection. what is almost as sickening is how many times this little girl has told counselors and the most recent social worker, "i am afraid of my daddy. i don't want to live with him. i want to live with my mommy."
my friend called me yesterday, in tears, sounding utterly exhausted. her recent attempt failed to convince the system that this little girl needs to be removed from dad's custody and returned to live with mom. i asked her "didn't [little girls name] talk with the investigator and tell her she wanted to live with you and that she was afraid of her daddy?" yep. "what about the statement i provided, saying the dramatic changes i've observed in her since she has been living with her dad?" that was included but obviously, discounted, just like the little girl's statement. after going through my own period of disbelief and tears and anger, i told her we won't give up. we'll find a good attorney. the truth shall prevail. we will go public if we have to. start a website.
we've all heard conspiratory statements and stories such as "you can buy justice" and "the family court system is corrupt". given my friends long-standing ordeal, i can say that at times, these statements are not conspiratorial but are rather, truth.
any help is so greatly appreciated. it is for a child. a little girl who has, in her short time on this earth, seen enough ugliness, experienced enough abuse and neglect. it is time someone speak for her, or at the very least, let her voice be heard. and counted.
nina
my friend called me yesterday, in tears, sounding utterly exhausted. her recent attempt failed to convince the system that this little girl needs to be removed from dad's custody and returned to live with mom. i asked her "didn't [little girls name] talk with the investigator and tell her she wanted to live with you and that she was afraid of her daddy?" yep. "what about the statement i provided, saying the dramatic changes i've observed in her since she has been living with her dad?" that was included but obviously, discounted, just like the little girl's statement. after going through my own period of disbelief and tears and anger, i told her we won't give up. we'll find a good attorney. the truth shall prevail. we will go public if we have to. start a website.
we've all heard conspiratory statements and stories such as "you can buy justice" and "the family court system is corrupt". given my friends long-standing ordeal, i can say that at times, these statements are not conspiratorial but are rather, truth.
any help is so greatly appreciated. it is for a child. a little girl who has, in her short time on this earth, seen enough ugliness, experienced enough abuse and neglect. it is time someone speak for her, or at the very least, let her voice be heard. and counted.
nina
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