No Solicitors In Corvallis Oregon

We have one of those signs next to our front door. Homemade. It used to read "No Solicitors Divine or Otherwise", but then due to a rain/wind storm, that one got ruined, so I put up another one that simply reads "no solicitors".

I need to add the "devine or otherwise". The religious converts (Jehovah's Witness and Mormons) are in full swing lately in my neighborhood. They woke us up this morning with a knock on the door. I smiled and pointed to the sign. "Oh, we weren't sure if that meant us," the man said. I said it did, then shut the door, but not before the young woman said "have you noticed the cruelty that is being played out around the world?"

As I shut the door I reflected on her statement. If I were quicker on my feet and well, ok, more awake, here is what I would have liked to say to her: "Around the world? Honey, look around your immediate surroundings. LOOK AT WHERE I LIVE. I pay almost $700 a month for this dive just so some home owner can increase his net worth. You see that open window? Want to know WHY it's open this early in the morning? Because this place has so much fucking water under it the humidity levels get upwards of 70%. That is so unhealthy. The owner knows this but he doesn't care. I would say that falls under the definition of cruel. And let me ask you this. Are you allowed to be a church leader? No? Is it because you're a woman? Of course it is. I would say that falls under the definition of cruelty as well. And that older man who is accompanying you. He has on a very expensive suit. He probably lives in one of those mansions up near Timberhill, right? Of course he does. He's white, he's male and he's a church leader. Does he share that wealth with his congregation? Does he make sure everyone who enters his church has a safe, secure, sound and affordable home in which to live? Of course he doesn't. That again seems rather cruel to me. And one last thing. Dishonesty is pretty cruel as well. Why do you folks knock on my door and pretend to be so interested in who I am, asking me if i need anything, when in reality you are only here to convert me? At least be honest with me. When you visit my house, simply say "hello I am here under the request (pressure) of my church to convert you. if that is of no interest to you, we will not be helping you."

Perhaps I will type up a letter stating what I really want to say to them, make some copies and stick them in an envelope, label it for these folks. They'll probably walk away, shaking their heads, and saying what most brainwashed religious nuts do: "we'll pray for you."