Cost of Milk Up Thirty Cents a Gallon

jesus christ....... eventually i'm going to be forced into a water only diet (well in terms of beverages that is). i went to the co-op today to get a few items and noticed my non-fat lockmead milk had jumped thirty cents. i can't afford organic so i opt for lockmead because they don't use that nasty growth hormone. i realize the cost of fuel is up, but lockmead comes from junction city, so why the over 10% increase i'm not sure. i asked the cashier and he wasn't sure. i sighed as i said "my income sure isn't keeping up with any of this." i added something that got me a very hesitant, strange look. "you know what? it's time for me to approach my employer and say ok. we have a problem here. my food items are climbing. fuel costs are up to $3/gallon. therefore i need to charge more for my services that i provide for you as an employee." it was tongue in cheek--kind of. behind it was a real fire, a real desire to see not only myself do this but to have an employer who would actually give a crap and agree with my demand, er, request.

anyway the look i got........ the cashier (an older man with whom i have spoken on several occasions) finally said "well that's not how things are done" to which i slapped my hand on the counter, gave him a big smile and said "but that is how things COULD be done, right?"

i have never been one to be told "that's just how things are". never never never. goes completely against who i am. i may be what one would call middle age (or perhaps the truth is i'm slowly entering that stage) and it's taken me a long long time, but i think i'm starting to really find my voice. and use it. either that or i'm having a mid-life crisis. maybe a combination of both. thank god i'm not menopausal. yikes. all i know is i have this huge ball of anger and pain inside of me that continues to grow, threatening to consume me if i don't get all of this shit out. i've worn that happy, pleasant face long enough. i've smiled when inside i want to spit on the person in front of me. i've said "that's ok" WHEN IT WAS NOT countless times. i've pretended, i've hid, i've run away, all out of fear of abandonment, fear of rejection, fear of being the only one left standing on the podium, alone with my voice and nothing else. but i can only hide for so long. like it or not, my body is saying, screaming actually: "GET THIS SHIT OUT OF HERE AND BE YOURSELF". yesterday i sat in my car alone and listened to queen's "we are the champions". i had it cranked, tears streaming down my face as i heard that beautiful soul freddy mercury cry out, emphasizing each word, "and we'll keep on fighting, 'til the end". that's me. my voice is being heard and will continue to be heard as long as i'm on this planet.

can you imagine a world where employees and employers actually bargain with one another and come up with an agreed upon wage TOGETHER??? imagine all of the service sector employees having that power! with unions essentially a thing of the past, something must be done so all employees have a real voice. this "at will" crap passed in oregon took away rights from the employee and handed them over to the employers. an employee has ALWAYS had the right to terminate his/her employment relationship. so this bullshit of a mess was created for employers. i read one moron's blog awhile back who supported the "at will" situation, calling for even MORE rights for employers. he is an employee and not an employer, which i found even more interesting. as he stated (paraphrased of course): "an employer should be allowed to fire someone who decides to become a cross dresser." wtf??!! number one, AN EMPLOYER ALREADY CAN. this dipshit is under the illusion that an employer cannot do this. an employer can fire you for ANY REASON or for NO reason and that reason does not have to be provided, nor does it have to be truthful. sure we have anti-discrimination laws, but what good are they when an employer can one day send you packing without a reason? it is then up to YOU to prove your side and trust me, unless it's a class action suit, no attorney will take a case against an employer, not even a small employer. mr. nina and i have experienced that one first hand.

and number two, an employer should NOT be allowed to fire someone because they decide to dress in the opposite gender. anyone remember the 80's???? shoulder pads and bland pant suits and ties and that hideous look of pulling back all of ones hair so that a women looked more like a man??? i always despised that look but i sure as hell support the right of people to dress as they deem fit (appropriately for the environment of course).

so back to my milk crisis. i was tempted to put it back on the shelf. i may stop buying milk and switch to rice milk or soy milk. there are some good brands--but hmmm they are typically even more expensive so why did i even bother considering that idea???

i need to own some land so we can have our own dairy cow. or a goat or two. some chickens for eggs. plant our own veggies. let's see, i should be able to do that here in corvallis for about, hmmm, say around $300,000.

looks like i'm gonna have to ask for that raise afterall.......