A Tribute To Paris Hilton

ok, yes i am sinking to a new low tonight. i have deliberately made the choice not to watch or read a thing about this spoiled little skank and her boo hoo latest little fiasco. however, about 10 minutes ago that Velveeta song began running through my mind. ok, it's not CALLED the Velveeta song--i know it's a classical piece but i cannot recall the name. so i'm calling it the Velveeta song. anyway the words "my name is paris, i am in jail" ran through my mind along with the tune. when inspiration strikes, i know to write it down, which i did. this is what i came up with. (for those who don't know the Velveeta song off of the top of your head, here are some lyrics to help: "when the cookbook, calls for cheddar. make it with velveeta it cooks better.")

good lord........... ok, here it is, my first and last mentioning of this i swear.

my name is paris
i am in jail.
you will see me
looking pale.

if you knew me,
you would see.
i'm really not so bad
for a celebrity.

oh sure i suck off
mommy and daddy.
and i laugh at
people beneath me.

i really don't
give a shit
about anything else
but men seeing my tits.

when i get out
i'll go shopping.
i'll get my hair done
then go bar hopping.

it will be like
the good 'ole days.
except for the memories
of my jailbird haze.