I Said Yeth I Will Take Thith

Being under the influence of novocane is a strange experience. Having had the start of a root canal a few weeks ago, after being away from the dentist's chair for a few years, I was reintroduced to novocane. I was lucky during that visit in that I was barely numb--by the time I left the office the drug had worn off. However, today is a different story. I returned to finish up the root canal and this time, I was numbed from here to eternity and back.

"Wow!" I said, after a few minutes, rubbing my cheek, checking my eye and lips to make sure both were still in place. "I'm weally numb!"

"You were numb last visit too," the hygienist reminded.

"Nod lith thith time!" I announced laughing, whereby I quickly stopped after realizing that with that laugh came a stream of drool running down my chin.

An hour or so later, as Dr. Drill was finishing up (he really is an amazingly gentle dentist--very good for phobic patient's like myself), I asked him if he had ever seen the Bill Cosby act on dental visits. It's hysterical.

Yes, yes, yes, he had seen it, quickly placing a tool in my mouth.

Apparently asking a dentist if he's seen that tape is like asking a minister, priest or rabbi if they have heard any of the "priest rabbi minister" jokes.

I wonder if dentists and their staff are required to numb themselves on a monthly basis or so, to remember what it's like to sit still in a chair, feeling as though your face is swollen up like a balloon, having to have trust that indeed it is not swollen, trusting that your facial parts are still in place and that any drool coming out of your mouth will be sucked up by that thing lay people call "that sucky thing". And lastly, remembering what it's like to be a numbed up patient and have to respond to questions. Dental speak, I call it. That is the language we speak when we're numbed from here to eternity and back. The more numb we are, we add in the drool factor to the dental speak. We sound like Elmer Fudd and spit like Daffy Duck.

Hey. I think I just realized where the creator of these cartoon figures found his inspiration. In the dental chair. I return soon for the crown. Maybe I, too, can find some inspiration amidst the experience.