More Job Insanity

I saw a position for a receptionist this morning. The place wants a college degree. No big deal for me considering I have one of those paper degrees myself, however, for a receptionist position? Plus they want to pay you a whopping $9/hour. What college graduate is going to jump on board for that gig? Who goes to college just to answer phones upon graduation? I seriously tried to avoid that gig for the longest time, claiming "Hey, I took jobs just like this one just to put myself THROUGH college."



Ridiculous.



It's for an animal hospital. If I didn't have a cat allergy, ferret allergy, bunny allergy, etc. etc. I'd apply. Although back a few years ago when I was absolutely desperate, I applied at this place a couple of times for the same position and never heard back.



Saw another position for an advocate at a local non-profit agency that advertises the same positions over and over again throughout the year. I've already applied at this place a few times over the years and decided to give them the proverbial finger when a job coach I was working with at the time said they weren't interested in me because I didn't have non-profit experience nor was I bilingual.



Hey, I can say "kiss my lilly white ass" in spanish. I can also ask where the bathroom, pen and pencil are, although not necessarily in that order. Doesn't this count for something?



After watching the candidates attempt to sell themselves to us these past several months, I thought I'd make an excellent speech writer. I'd remove all of the traditional bullshit and cut to the chase.



"Good evening my fellow Americans. Hmm. Let me rephrase that. Good evening slaves. We would have to be on equal playing fields if I were to address you as my fellow American, right? I'm running for office because I want to rule this land. I want power. I thirst for it. I long for it. I NEEEEEED it. {insert shrill laughter and that bulging eyes look--think Chevy Chase} I want your vote and I will do whatever it takes to get to it. I'll lie, cheat, steal. I'll sell my children, my spouse, my lovers, my own soul. Hell, I'll sell my left kidney. Just please tell me what I have to do to get your vote. You see, in reality, that's all I really care about. Once I get elected, I'm gonna drop all of these fancy bullshit promises and do whatever I want anyway. {insert shit eating phony grin with those blaringly white perfectly straight teeth}...."



I could make another attempt at writing for the local paper, the always illuminating, ever-so-progressive Gazette Times. I made a pitch a couple of years ago, bothered the hell out of them most likely, trying to sell them on a bi-monthly column idea. I mean, come on... That Mona Charen chick has just got to go. She wrote a column recently about how Mitt Romney is just what this nation truly needs. After all, he shares our values as a Christian Society. Even Ellen Goodman isn't cutting it anymore as a more "progressive" columnist. This paper caters to the elite, conservative senior citizen in this community. Newsflash: We aren't all in our late 50's/60's and beyond. We aren't all rich. And we certainly aren't all Republican. They need a shot of youthful progressiveness desperately. If you agree, write and tell them so. Mention my blog if you wish. Maybe if their editorial offices are harassed, er, flooded with enough phone calls and e-mails promoting my superior writing skills and my amazing insights, they may be willing to open up a few cells in their listening ears.



Until that time, you're all stuck with reading my job search rants. And as you're probably aware of by now, consigo tan jodiendo cansado de escritura acerca de todo.