Religious Hypocrisy

i received a christmas newsletter over the weekend from my brother and his family. his wife created it. it was in the form of a poem. a very clever, cute poem. something i would have no issues with if it weren't for the blaring hypocrisy.

my brother and his wife are very religious. so much so that they created their own church as modeled by their previous church, located in the state in which they used to reside. i've written about their beliefs in previous posts of long ago. let's just say their religious beliefs by and large clash with mine. he has his, i have mine. although ask my brother and he will say his are right and mine are wrong.

the newsletter spoke in quite a bit of detail about their church, the time and energy and money they've devoted to getting it off the ground and assisting in running it. they "serve the lord", as they put it.

again, in and of itself, no problem there. however, being they have found so much love and compassion in their hearts to devote to this, when in the hell has that love been sent my way? i would like to write them and say "hey, remember me? the sister/sister-inlaw? the one who loaned you my wedding dress because you couldn't afford to buy one? the one who played at your wedding and who threw you your bridal party? the one who let you stay with me while you were looking for work in the same city in which i lived? the one who did your resumes? the one who GAVE you money for college (while i was in college myself) because mom and dad had failed to do as promise? the one who agreed, lovingly, to be the godmother for your son? the one who babysat your son countless times, including traveling out of state to do so, never asking nor expecting anything in return other than maybe you come visit? the one who, along with my spouse, visited you numerous times over the years, hoping you would keep your word and visit us only to be disappointed and in time, gave up knowing the words were just words? the one who, upon your turning "religious", was told that my beliefs were bullshit, my feelings crap, that i was selfish for thinking on my own rather than reading the bible and believing some supposed church leader bible expert, and that just about every word that has ever come out of my mouth, you disagree with? the one who, when i announced i was getting married, i got criticized for having it on a weekday, even though i chose that day to honor a family member's birthday who had long since passed? and to add further insult to injury, who was criticized when i asked for your children, my niece and nephew, to be a part of the wedding, saying i "should not have" done that without checking with the family patriarch, despite the matriarch, mama bear, saying she was fine with the kids partaking? and adding even further insult to injury, when mama bear decided to write me a letter stating the reasons why i should not marry my spouse, claiming the entire family felt that way (which i later found out was utterly untrue) and when i got upset with her, not for her expressing her truth but in how she said it and when (2 days before christmas--when we were all planning to get togehter), i got critized sharply and then got told "it was all my fault" because my spouse was now hurt (saying i had no business sharing this information with him). and who, when i asked you, brother, for money during a time when my spouse and i struggled with health issues and lack of employment, was told "no" and later was offered such loving, brilliant advice from your wife who said "go pick broccoli" and that "we cannot give you anything" even though you were living RENT FREE (while making a good salary) with mom while you looked for a home to buy."

you serve the lord? bullshit. when you serve "god" you serve people, which means you put your family FIRST. i've done that for you both many times in the past, even when i have been sick with anxiety and panic. i see through your hypocrisy. have seen it over the years. now that i have read your words, i see it even more clearly now for your actions and words are now in direct alignment.