Let's Make A Deal: Election Year 2008

I awoke this morning with this skit (for lack of a better word) going through my mind. Read it or not. I'm not so much interested in the political scene these days, but creative types know: once you have an idea, if you do not run with it, the idea will nag the mind for hours if not days. So here it is.

The Scene: Let's Make A Deal gameshow. Host Monty Hall has selected an oddly dressed person from the audience to choose a Presidental Candidate from behind the three closed curtains on stage. Unlike the original gameshow, all three curtains are opened, one at a time, before the contestant makes a choice.

Curtain Number One Opens. The Announcer is heard saying the following:

"We have for you today Political Puppet Number One." Cheers are heard.

Dressed in a three piece suit with a pin of the American Flag at the lapel, Puppet Number One flashes his brilliantly white smile whilst waving at the crowd of cheering Americans. He loves to say he supports the free market, the american dream, the american worker, reduced the tax burden on the individual, quality education, affordable health care and gun control. He says he will "fight hard" to end homelessness and hunger and poverty.

Net worth: $500 million.

Funded by: GE, Morgan Stanley, Walmart, Chase Manhattan, etc. etc.

Has read The Constitution, but shows little sign of understanding it.

Announcer is then heard saying:

"Behind Curtain Number Two, we have for you Political Puppet Number Two." Cheers are heard.

Dressed in a three piece suit with a pin of the American Flag at the lapel, Puppet Number Two flashes his brilliantly white smile whilst waving to the crowd of cheering Americans. He loves to say he supports the free market, public education, the american worker, reducing the tax burden on Corporations, affordable health care and the 2nd Amendment.

Net worth: $750 million.

Funded by: Ditto. (See above.)

Has read the Constitution (perhaps was even around when signed) but like Puppet Number One, shows little proof of understanding it.

Announcer is then heard saying:

"Behind Curtain Number Three we have for you, uh, we have for you, ummm...." Silence. The curtain is fully opened. No one knows who this person is. Why?

He's the Independent Candidate. No one knows who he/she is because none of the media outlets give them the time of day. However, here's where he/she stands on the issues:

Stop The Outsourcing of American jobs.
Return the tax burden where it belongs, the way the Founders intended: Commerce.
Eliminate the Minimum Wage and replace it with a Living Wage (or return to the days when minimum wage WAS a living wage).
Abolish Health Insurance Companies and put the power of health care where it belongs: Between doctor and patient. Establish a single payer System.
Stop Invading Sovereign Nations. Defensive action will only be taken when invaded and/or attacked by another nation. And at that, all means of Peaceful Non-Violent Conflict Resolution will be sought first.
Get out of NAFTA and the WTO.
Abolish The Federal Reserve and return to a gold/metal backed currency.
Put An End To Corporate Bailouts.
Impeach and charge with War Crimes every single member of the current administration and congress who has voted for and continued to vote for the War In Iraq.
Fix The Nation's Infrastructure.
Create Energy Independence. Wind. Solar. Hemp. Create a Panel to study Tesla's brilliant ideas.
Tell the Lobbyists and other "Special" Groups (i.e. those really in charge) to go to hell.

Funded by: The People.

Net worth: $150,000.

Has read the Constitution. Understands it. Lives it. Abides by it.

The people are stunned. Who IS this person? Why, it's who they've been waiting for for years. And yet, he/she has been there the whole time, just waiting for The People to put down their remotes, question the System and go in search of someone who reflects THEIR values and THEIR best interests.

Imagine, that person being here, right now.

The Independent Candidate.

Monty Hall asks the contestant to make his choice. He isn't sure what to do. The show fades away to commercial...

Ok voters, you're the contestant. What will your choice be? It's up to you.