Complete Stream of Consciousness

Doing something different tonight. I'm going to thrill you or bore you to tears with a post that is nothing more than stream of consciousness. Whatever goes through my mind in the next few minutes will get put to words, right here.

Looking around the room for some inspiration right now......hmmm....ever tried a yoga ball? I don't mean in a weird, sexual way, I mean ever use one for exercise purposes? They're pretty effective, if you can handle the balance thing. i measured myself today. lost 1" around around my waist. i know this--my back doesn't bother me the way it used to. these things will make your core strong! and for the first time since i was probably a child i have a cut on my upper arms and you know that part under your pit i have a cut there now. i didn't know you could get that. although since i'm pretty muscular for a chick i'm starting to get bulky. i compared myself to my spouse and whew, at least he's still bigger than i am.

Shit, my stomach aches. Burrito for dinner. Bike ride afterwards. Banking online afterwards. gassy food followed by movement followed by ugh activity. there ya go. Saw a really cool cat. Ok, right now I"m having a flashback to some dream I had in 1998. What the hell???

Ever get so mad you want to blow something up? Or at least see and feel something break? That's me when I'm angry. I like to see something destroyed. Usually it's just ripped up paper.

I'm getting tired of this environmental, go-green movement. lots of people in big corporations getting really rich and am i getting rich being green? heck no! I'm tired of movements, period. Earlier today as I headed to the store in my car my spouse asked me, jokingly, about my carbon footprint. I told him me and my AC gas using vehicle said he could shove my carbon foot. Handing him my cloth bag i said you want to ride your bike instead? He declined. Of course. It was 90 degrees outside. Only Olympic athletes and people under 30 can tolerate riding in muggy heat, not to mention the smoke in the air. California, leave your fucking smoke in your own neighborhood, will ya? I love summers, when we have the pacific ocean natural a/c kicking in.

Sinuses are stuffed. Eyes feel heavy. I could be baking oatmeal raisin cookies. or outside looking at the stars. hey speaking of being outside, anyone else hear about the UFO sited over in Bend, then later over in newport? of course the media downplayed it. one of the news anchors, some bimbo named brandi, way too young to really know of anything truly useful to report about, said it was probably a stunt for the x-file movie coming out. wow brilliant. oh so funny. ha ha ha ha laugh til i pee my pants. newsflash: anyone who doesn't believe in such craft needs to crawl out from under their shell. we ain't the only inhabitants in our universe, let alone our galaxy. don'tcha think given that, once in awhile, they pay us a visit to make sure we haven't blown ourselves up yet? or hey, maybe we're teaching them. i'm a bit doubtful on that one though.

dog's barking. she's a great watchdog. i have no doubt she wouldn't hesitate to bite the head off of anyone who attempted to harm us. certainly me given she's been by my side basically every day since we brought her home as a puppy. but it comes at a cost. she barks at anything or anyone that moves. she's sweet and friendly to all we knowingly welcome. to those we don't, she will bark and growl deep in her throat. i like that about her. that is unless she's barking non-stop because someone has decided to stand out in the street and have a conversation with another neighbor. no biggie to me of course. not cool with our little pooch killer here.

bored yet? i am. i think i'll head outside and watch for strange craft. we saw another one a week or so ago. that makes, what, 4 or 5 since living in this particular location. been having the desire to pack up and move. north. cooler summers. canada. sunshine coast is spectacular. it's expensive. of course where isn't expensive? corvallis homes still ain't dropping and i'm tired of seeing run down pieces of shit go for $225,000. for a damn home? please! anyway up north.......means one of my ideas needs to generate a lot of cash. i'm pursuing one right now. even if it means shipping production overseas. i know--bad bad, wrong wrong. but i've been focused on creating wealth and i'll do what i have to to achieve that, even if it means compromising on some things i typically don't believe in. and really, it's my life. i don't need to justify what i do or how i live to anyone. there's too much butting in these days. i'm pretty tired of it, to tell you the truth. like i would like? well maybe sometimes i do lie or, more accurately, downplay things. if i really let loose on this blog, wow. i'd have no readers, save for those who like to peak into the minds of others who are strange and out there. okkkkkkkk.......soooo canada..... they have that health care deal. no republicans or democrats. no buba bush. no obooboo. no mcpain. no upcoming election. honestly. i have no interest in any of that anymore. it's a game. and i quit playing awhile ago. i'm about my own agenda. it is, afterall, my life. enough of this corporate and political shit dictating in any way how i live my life. freedom is what i'm after, however i define freedom for me. in any way i can get it.

i took some quiz that said i'm a girly girl at heart. i stared at the results. and thought what's a girly girl? hmmm. ok, so yeah, i am. i like girly things. i like to giggle. i like to be silly and mischevious. i love clothes, although i don't like the part of shopping for them. uck ick. but clothes yes i love clothes, especially frilly things and peasant blouses i love soft things like that. makes me feel oh so girlie and feminine. i like make up and lotions and pretty smelling things, in so long as they're natural. i remember when i used to do the mall thing and i'd go inside a department store and someone crazed psycho with a bottle of over-priced perfume in her hands would want to spray me. "want to try some inhibition???" she'd ask, spraying me, not giving me a chance to say "uh no thank you." i'd come home smelling all sorts of weird awful chemically things, usually with a headache. i don't like perfume stuff like that. ugh. if i could, i'd roll myself in pure vanilla oil and cinnamon. but then i'd walk around licking my arms all day and i would probably get arrested by someone who thought i was trying to pleasure myself in some weird way, someone who was repressed themselves and probably envious at my ability to just let myself go in public and well ok this is getting strange so i'll close it up. and hey, tummy feels fine now. must have just needed to get some of this weirdness and frustration out of my system. more productive than ripping up paper though?? who knows.