entitlement.........

i've been thinking about that word the past few days............"entitlement".........a friend of mine who is a social worker told me we aren't entitled to squat...........i laughed as i told her "i dare you to say that to donald trump!"

i asked her to define entitlement for me and she had a difficult time.........it's a sense of "i deserve this because......." i said "i believe i am worthy--i believe we are all worthy--of having everything we desire simply because we exist." this is when she said she agreed but said making one worthy doesn't make one entitled. i asked her again to clarify it for me. when the conversation ended, i was no more clear than i was to begin with. but i have continued thinking about the word.......

maybe it's the difference between demanding and wanting. an energy of "i am going to get this no matter what the consequences".

maybe it's the art of creating our desires with ego interference--from the place of fear. (uh oh--my ego just stood to attention upon hearing that one!)

sigh. the circles we spin when first we practice to get clear...........

i cannot think of one person, myself included, who i have not seen have a sense of entitlement at one point or another. it's difficult not to. we're taught to compete with one another, taught that there isn't enough to go around (which actually, if we do not begin living in balance with our planet, that may not be an altogether untrue statement at some point in the very near future). we're taught to look at one another as the enemy--someone who may steal or take our "stuff" (whatever it is we define our "stuff" to be--food, employment, money, relationships, etc. etc.). i completely understand this mindset. it was ingrained in me from a very early age that i was not to trust others, that i needed to hold on tightly to what was mine. this lead me to feel afraid of everything and i mean everything. with this fear of everything came the feeling of entitlement. ironic, isn't it, that behind entitlement, at least for me, is fear. our society portrays the energy of entitlement in a way that is powerful. in charge. in control. all of those factors, we believe, make us fearless. but in reality, we're really running around like frightened children, demanding what we believe we're entitled to, clinging to what we have, distrusting others whom we think *may* be out to take what it is we are clinging so tightly so.

i don't know about you, but this is an utterly exhausting way to live. the question is, how to break out of this mindset. and do i even want to? or better yet, can i trust myself, trust that i will be ok if i break free of it?

whew.......that's a big question and i am not sure of the answer.........which means there will be no appropriate or well-defined ending for this piece. nothing nice and neat in which to wrap it up. there will only be the void of "i don't know". but in that void comes the desire TO know.