Radical Kindness

i thought of that term "radical kindness" upon reading the article (as linked in my title). i'm sure many of you have already heard of this story. the homeless man, staying in a shelter, out and about collecting bottles and cans, happens upon $30k in traveler's checks and rather than pocketing the money, turns them in to the shelter director, who in turn finds the owner. the owner then gives the man $100 and upon having the news story circulate throughout the country, the man has since received over $4,000.

i thought about this story and asked myself if i would feel the same way about this man if he had opted instead to keep the money. at first my reaction was "of course not!" being i am undertaking a new step in my journey that includes being aware of my defenses and my judgements, i began to wonder if my reaction was helping to contribute to the violence and fear and hatred that permeates our world.

my conclusion? it was and is.

so i began by asking myself "why would i feel differently about this man if he had chosen to keep the money?" i mean afterall--i hardly know the man. how could i pass judgement on him for one behavior? why, that is easy. it's ingrained in us to think in terms of right and wrong. black and white. we're even motivated in our behavior by fear of punishment and desire for reward.

all of it based on fear.

so then i began to imagine a scenario where this man had chosen to keep the money. having been close to being homeless myself once upon a time, having no source of income, i know how tempting it would have been for me to have kept a large sum of found money. i then imagined society embracing this man nonetheless. the term "radical kindness" then came to me. i mean honestly--how radical of a concept would that be to embrace a homeless man who essentially kept something that wasn't his? how many of us would be open to embracing such a concept? embracing such a behavior?

i imagine if he had kept the money, the news story would have had a more negative slant to it. the focus would be on some sort of punishment. some sort of punitive action and negative judgement.

i am curious to know what this man's motivation was for turning in the money. was it because he felt it was the "right" thing to do based on his values? was it because he was hoping for some kind of reward or recognition or help? did he stop for a moment and contemplate keeping it?

all of this is stirring up some thoughts i've been considering lately on the idea of sharing the wealth. communism to those who know the real meaning of the term. helen keller, i recently read, was a socialist and a staunch supporter of the communist agenda. i was applauding this essay until i reached one of the author's conclusion: most americans would be unwilling to support the socialist viewpoint. that was so discouraging for me to read. discouraging because it was a short-sighted assumption. discouraging because i believe that in our hearts, in that part of us that is free from the rules and judgements of our rigid black and white western thinking, we authentically do support the concept of equal sharing--and the author failed to dig deep enough to explore this possibility.

we teach this to our children for goodness sake, this concept of equal sharing. are we hypocrites? are we blind sheep, parenting unconsciously or semi-consciously?

i contemplate the idea why people hoard the wealth. the resources. what are they so afraid of? i know i am afraid of money--afraid that i won't have enough to support myself, own a home, have a nice savings acount. afraid i never will no matter what attempts i make. what is it that those with the wealth are so afraid of that they fail to look at their exagerrated lives and ponder this question: are there enough resources for everyone to live the life i am? be interesting to ask that question, eh? be even more interesting to hear the answer(s). reminds me of the bumper sticker: live simply so that others many live simply.... pretty powerful statement if you ask me......

president bush has the educational agenda of "leave no child behind". we need to truly embrace this concept and change the words to "let us leave no one behind".

i think people (myself included) have a sense of entitlement. i worked hard therefore i am entitled to this money. i do this job, therefore i am entitled to "x" amount of money. entitled to more money than this job or that. what about the idea that we are all worthy in what we choose to do with our lives? all jobs having an equal value in their own way.

we've removed the idea of sharing from our dialogue when it comes to money. in fact, turn on any of those tv courtroom shows and most cases are about people refusing to pay back a loan for a variety of reasons. the mantra of the judges are the same "do not ever lend money to family or friends". is it just me, or does this statement make anyone sad? there was one bold young man who was being sued by his niece for a loan she said she gave him. he was very openly upset and said he had given her money many times over the years and was very hurt this one time he asked her for money she expected repayment. the judge ripped into him and when she did, the courtroom bursted with applause.

sigh. that good 'ole rugged individualism at work.

i've given money to friends and family in the past when i've had it to give (which truth be told, has been less as i've gotten older--something i find a bit strange...). i give what i can afford and i don't expect repayment. i'm not saying i'm without fault in other areas of human life, but i believe my belief and behavior surrounding the concept of giving money is one that could really help create a more beautiful world. certainly less conflict.

in that same essay i referred to above, helen keller took many trips to a variety of towns and came to the conclusion that rugged individualism, the concept of "do it on your own" and "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" is in fact largely a myth. the american economic class system is set up to make room for only so many to own the wealth. and not everyone is raised in an environment that supports our dreams but instead is an existance of abandonment and abuse. the world is hard enough--competitive enough as it is. having a supportive family environment increases your chances for success. while i believe in the absolute power of our thoughts and our intentions, i am no longer naive in thinking that this alone is what creates our reality. we all affect one another, therefore our success IS dependent not just on our thoughts and our intentions but by others from our family and friends on up to the school system, the class system, the economic system of capitalism and our own government.

it's always made me laugh when i hear people say "i made it on my own! got no help at all!"

so i return to this dear homeless man--this human being--this soul--living now, the same time that i am. maybe his story will inspire others to view the homeless as simply people. remarkably similar in our needs and desires. maybe his story will inspire others to think along the lines that i did. why did i cheer this story and why would i be more likely to harshly judge the same story had the man made a different choice?

ultimately it is only you and i who judge. the universe certainly doesn't. it is you and i who have the ultimate power, with the cooperation of this grand universe and with like-minds to create the reality we wish to see. and i have hope that you, dear reader, can begin to embrace the idea of a new reality based on equal sharing and on radical kindness.