I Wish...

Not that anyone but spammers will read this, much less read this blog anymore...but i wish the following:

~people would stop telling me how i am "glowing" and how "wonderful" i look.  I DO NOT FEEL WONDERFUL.  I am scared out of my frigging mind of becoming homeless with a baby.  I am stressed to the max.  I am not sleeping well and it isn't just due to late stage pregnancy symptoms.  I am overwhelmed at the idea of raising a child in this fucked up system.

~along those lines i wish people would stop telling me everything is going to be just fine when there is NO PROOF of this.  unless you have money and/or support from those who also have money and stability you will not be "just fine".  miracles and opportunities are few and far between and it doesn't matter how much you pray or ask for help or THINK IT TRUE - the bottom line is this world is for shit and true idealism and true emotional expression and the acknowledgement of how things TRULY are does not exist.

~i wish the basics needed to survive were not based on the amount of money one has but instead, were provided for all\ - no questions asked.

~along those lines, i wish more people believed the above as i do.

~if there are other universes in which i am living and experiencing, i wish i knew how to go to that reality (in so long it was a reality much more conducive to my needs and values).  if i did, i would be there immediately.  without question.

~i wish love is all you need was a true concept.

~i wish certain people would stop nagging me/us, badgering me/us and questioning me/us and instead ask that difficult but REAL phrase that is TRULY about helping:  "what do you need?"  ask and i will tell you!

~i wish i didn't feel so god damn alone.

~lastly, i wish i would win the lottery.  that would take away a lot of the unnecessary stress i am experiencing.