On This Monday...

So here's a little more reality to toss out at those who still care to read. It's again directed at the thoughtless fucktards in our life who see the huge and I mean h u g e financial pressure we are under and who aren't offering up a god damn thing but who oh so clearly can. I'm to the point of making it clear: Please help. If not, you won't be seeing us or our child-to-be again. Ever.

Imagine this: Your own parents who say oh how they wish they could offer you more in the way of financial assistance but simply can't. Why? They're on their way down south to their luxury condo's for the winter. And oh yes, wait, that's after the visit to the Rose Bowl game. And yes there's the daily round of golf. Etc. etc. etc. But I do recall my ever-loving papa once telling me he wasn't willing to give up any of his luxuries to help me out regardless of whatever it was I was facing.

Can't offer up any assistance, my lilly white ass. (And to the individual who found my blog, who called to tell me about said find, who tried to convince me a year ago the only people in my life who ever have been there for me financially are these same assholes and that I owed them my presence because they more than earned it--you fucking understand now? You still under that insane, delusion impression? Too little, too late if you do.)

So today...Mr. N goes for another interview at yet another company who offer yet another assembly-line style of job seeking. Fill out an application whereby you're told to wait outside (it was raining, btw) for up to 2.5 hours. What if you took the bus? Too damn bad. All of this for a minimum wage job. And said interview is just a few minutes. So Mr. N goes through the routine along with the other 100 plus individuals who, according to his calculations, ranged from age 18 to 65 or so. He's never seen anything like it. He even drove me by the place. I as well have never seen anything like that. Not even during the intial recession of 2001, which we never recovered from which has lead to today's (intentionally created) Depression. Back then I was competing with approximately 500 people per job. That was the total number of applicants on average. Today it's more like 500 people PER DAY--especially when there's an open-window of just a few days to apply in person.

What's so sad (if not ridiculous) is the very few wonderful people in our lives who HAVE helped in their own way and who have said they really wish they could help more but like us, they're at the bottom of the bucket in the financial department as well. A more humbling, grateful experience I cannot imagine: Someone in need themselves offering you help.

To make this clear: Those who have, those who are comfortably secure, hoard. Those who have live the high life and turn a blind cheek to those they claim to care about. Those who have donate their extra money to their fucking church first and foremost, to god damn dogmatic pretentious church walls. None are stepping up to the plate in the way loving folks are supposed to. And yet those who don't have, WANT to help and have helped out in ways that are oh so much more difficult on their pocketbook than those who have. Call them on any of this and you either receive the silent treatment or defensive diatribe and rage.

I am so utterly completely deeply to my core thoroughly disgusted I can't put it into words, not to mention the deep hole of abandonment I feel, which can only be described as unbearable sadness.

To wrap it up: We need money. Mr. N needs medical attention (which includes surgeries) and unless he receives it, he cannot hold down employment. Unless the hospital agrees to comp the care, we're screwed. He has no insurance and is currently on the reservation list for the state plan. Our car either needs replacing or several hundred dollars in repair. We also need a better place to live, one that isn't infested with mildew and mold. The bedrooms are the worst. I don't want our baby to be breathing that crap but unless we can find a rental that is AFFORDABLE and isn't a run-down slummy little shack, it looks like we don't have much of a choice in this regard. An outside investigation showed a huge dark stain on the side of the house where the mold comes through in what is going to be the babies room. This shit is inside the walls. And lest it is black mold, we have absolutely no recourse to get it fixed. Our computer seems to be on its last legs. If I didn't need it to sell our collectibles and other items (got a small biz idea I'm creating--handcrafted items--and need start-up funds for that), it wouldn't be much of an issue. But it is. We're going in the hole. We're asking for help. Please. I simply don't know what else to do at this point.