Top 10 List Of Things To Do With That Economic Stimulus Cash

I cannot say that without feeling a bit weird. Stimulating the economy, as though I'm tickling something, intangible at that, for pleasure. A little higher and to the left, please.

With all of this talk about these checks from Uncle Sam soon-to-be-arriving in a mailbox or bank account near you, I've been thinking about what to do with the cash. Worn down from trying to be practical about this "honest to god you won't have to pay this back ever in any way shape or form" cash from our good 'ole government bean counters, I've decided to have a little fun and offer up my suggestions for what to do with the greens.

10) Buy a bunch of spare ribs and beer, invite your friends and neighbors, and eat, drink, sing and be merry for 24 hours. Or however long the beer and food last.

9) Rent some time with the Blue Angels and ask to fly slowly over your neighborhood. That way you will get a good view of your neighbors and get a feel for our our government has access to any time they feel like it.

8) Buy some non-toxic paint (or toxic if you like getting buzzed off of such fumes) and paint a large mural on your rooftop. Suggested themes: the middle finger salute; the constitution with WE THE PEOPLE in large, black bold letters; a picture of certain leaders in a jail cell; or angels and flowers.

7) Buy several cans of tennis balls and drop them off at our home. Our dog will be oh so very enthused with your gesture. Same goes for dog cookies.

6) Get together with your neighbors and lay out all of your cash on a table or two. Laminate each bill and then get creative. Make something out of those laminated pieces square paper, take pictures of your creation and post it on U-Tube, your blog, etc. etc..

5) Along the lines of number 7, send me your cash. I promise to put it to good use. : )

4) Buy ingredients for a pizza and set out to make the world's largest. Submit to Guiness. Obtain world wide fame and recognition.

3) Spend it all on chocolate (fair trade only, please). Then share, offering up each recipient a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

2) Make a tree fort for the kids in your neighborhood to play in. And for those adults who still have that tree fort enthusiasm.

And number one:

1) Set out to disprove the theory: Money Doesn't Grow On Trees. Plant it and watch it fluorish. I figure it's about as profitable as putting it in the stock market.


Ok, my practical side is kicking in wanting a say, so I will be offering up some suggestions on those practical things to do with the greens tomorrow.