on being offline.......

had one of those computer weeks last week. you know the kind--when the computer doesn't behave the way you want it to, doesn't listen to your begging, pleading and words of wisdom...doesn't even respond to bribes (hey, i promise to clean you with that compressed air once a week and i promise to remove my piles of crap from the tower). so i called a local repair guy, took it in and waited as it sat. day after day. i finally called this morning and said hey, what's up? dude says "sorry, i haven't got to it yet. don't know when i will." rather than wait, i decided to go pick it up. a friend had offered to check it out--for free--so i took him up on the offer.

well this friend of ours obviously has the cosmic touch because once his hands were on it with the simple move of turning it on, all was working just fine. looking up at me with a smile he said, "this seems to happen to me." bless you, i said, patting him on the shoulder, picking up my tower, kissing it as i gently placed it in my car where i drove home only to find upon my arrival a power shortage. damn.

the substation in need of repair happens to be in my neighborhood, so i set out to speak to the repair people to find out what caused the outage. the culprit? a squirrel--likely the squirrel that plays merrily in our yard, using our potted plant containers to bury his walnuts while tormenting my squirrel-crazed dog. i got a little teary-eyed as the guy in the hard hat told me what happened. apparently this happens fairly often. i thought squirrels were smarter than that.

so sending out a wish for the little squirrel, i headed inside and tried to keep myself busy. i was not able to work. i couldn't do laundry or vacuum. so i played the piano and read for a few hours. just as i was thinking "ok this is getting ridiculous and i am getting cold", with a thundering hummm, the lights came back on. yippie!! i thought, racing back to the office/spare bedroom/junk room. with careful urgency, i plugged everything into it's right place, fired 'er up and prayed for the same cosmic result as earlier in the day. i needn't have worried. she worked just fine.

i had close to 300 e-mails, all of but 5 i deleted (please don't think i'm that popular. i'm on a few e-mail lists is all). and i noticed something. i felt kind of indifferent. kind of let down, actually. i thought i'd feel more excited, being online again. the truth is, at its best the computer is a convenience. at its worst, an addictive diversion.

i had a lot of very cool things happen to me during those days i was offline. i spent more time with my dog. i had some excellent conversations with my spouse. i napped. i was certainly outside more. i read more, even meditated and experienced some cool insights. and the best part? i was totally detached from the events of the world (i don't watch tv news except for the weather). when i first realized i may be without my computer for a few days, i was tense inside. agitated. but as those days passed, i missed it less and less. i felt, in a way, a sense of relief.

all because i disconnected from the virtual world and connected more with the real world around me. something i will do more of...........