I've been receiving this series of e-mails, which I am assuming came to me via David Icke's e-mail list. In it is a link to a website, thefallofamerica.net, where I can purchase, for only $79, a DVD compilation of what's really going on behind the curtain, along with a huge list of things I can do right now to ensure my safety and survival during the upcoming chaos that's going to be visiting us soon. (As if it isn't already chaotic and insane enough.)
I must make it clear that I'm on the same page as these dudes. I agree we're being lied to in such a perverse manner, which is to say the government and their corporate media whores are LYING to us daily by saying the economy is improving, which is of course what THE PEOPLE (i.e. the victims) WANT to hear. Hell, we ALL want it to improve. No one (but the mentally deranged) wants to suffer or struggle and certainly no one (again but the mentally deranged) wants to see others suffer or struggle (well a little suffering and struggle for the PTB ain't such a bad idea). But nonetheless, these hopes of ours are being falsely placated in a gross, ugly, vile, evil manner. And that's what the authors of this DVD are doing as well IN THEIR OWN WAY is playing on our fears by essentially saying "BUY OUR DVD AND PROTECT YOURSELF!"
I CAN SAVE YOU. SEND ME MONEY.
WTF?
Know what? If I were privy to such knowledge AND ways to HELP the people--I WOULD GET THIS INFORMATION OUT THERE AT NO FUCKING CHARGE! Or at the VERY least I would give it away for NOTHING TO THOSE IN FINANCIAL NEED! Ask for donations. God--I'd get CREATIVE so that EVERYONE WHO WANTED MY INFORMATION COULD GET IT!
I mean jesus fucking christ already! They essentially say: "We know times are tough. We know millions are homeless. Millions are losing their homes, their savings, their jobs. Millions are without insurance and in need of medical care. The system has CREATED this. But WE CAN HELP!....just give us $79 first."
They even have the GALL to say $79 is AFFORDABLE. Affordable for WHOM?
Fucking bastards. Every last one of them. You don't throw FEAR and URGENCY in someone's face, say "I can help you but FIRST you gotta pay me". I'm so fucking sick of that. I'm sick of idiots (WHO PROFITED OFF THE SYSTEM AND ARE SECURE THEMSELVES) who give advice that is completely NOT DOABLE FOR MANY OF US. I'm sick of these same idiots who are only out for their OWN survival, who are in the POSITION of TRULY offering CONCRETE HELP (money, shelter, food and the like) to those who are in need but instead they're totally unaware of their own brainwashed rugged individualistic conditioning, they sit on their fat asses preaching nothing but obvious dribble (to those of us who are awake) without offering up ANYTHING OF VALUE. Many will though--IF ONLY YOU PAY THEM.
Fuck that. That isn't love. That isn't kindness. It isn't compassion. It's EVIL. It's every bit as evil as those who created this capitalistic system. And I'm fed the farm-fuck up with 'em all.
Such folks need to realize that the growing populace of victims may just begin to hit up THEIR estates first and foremost when they become desperate enough. And of course it doesn't have to be this way if only THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE would UNITE WITH THOSE WHO DO NOT. But that would require REAL authentic connection. REAL compassion. REAL effort. And my experience has been such folks don't want such things. They want their money. Their security. And they want to be left alone. In a way an understandable feeling. But certainly not a very evolved one. Some day...sooner than later most likely...they will see the error of their ways.
12.27.2009
Sunday Musings. Or, I Blog Therefore I Am.
20 weeks is upon me. 21 is around the corner. Mr. N's clothing is now something I take interest in as is anything with a drawstring waistline. I no longer roll out of bed without some sort of help from my arms and/or legs (I tried 5 times tonight just to show Mr. N I could still roll outta bed like everyone else. I did not succeed.) People I know see me from the front and now they smile, sometimes patting my belly. (That being said, most have said I am still quite small. None of course are actually pregnant.) Some days I feel beautiful. Other days, frumpy. I now get why women used to wear those mumu's. Ugly as anything but comfort takes on a totally new meaning when your belly is expanding every week. Some days I feel like I'm carrying a small basketball. Other days, a bowling ball. Doing yoga-often daily-is something that is becoming not just a pleasure but a necessity. Things like constipation and indigestion are to be avoided in the same manner in which I avoid religious fanatics. Gentle belly rubs by daddy-to-be are about the best thing I can imagine right now in terms of calming comfort. I can now look at my body in the mirror, sideways, without gasping. Usually I smile but sometimes I still think "oh my god..." I am very protective of my personal space, in particular my belly. A very primitive, instinctive feeling. Reading stories and singing songs to the little-one-to-be are new activities Mr. N and I are really enjoying. Amazing that just 2.5 months ago we were so resistant to this whole experience. Now it has--this little baby has--become the center of our world. And that makes us smile. When we're not still a bit overwhelmed by both the reality and surrealism that is...
***
Listened to a piece on C-Span earlier in the week. Host was interviewing Steve (puke) Forbes and folks were calling in discussing the economy. One guy was nailing truth after truth, showing the obvious flaws and controls of our "free" market capitalistic system. He was cut off after a few moments which left Mr. N and I saying "Hey, let the guy speak!" Mr. Forbes brilliant response was packaged in a nice little system spin game of verbal puppet speak, praising the results of capitalism, worshipping it for how it has allowed for such great achievements and advancements. Of course he left out it has allowed for such things FOR THE FEW AT THE EXPENSE OF THE REST. And of course, his spewing verbage was presented with that evil smile he is known for along with those tiny little lying, lifeless little slits of flesh known to you and I as "eyes". (A surefire way of really reading someone on television is by covering up the lower portion of their faces and looking only at their eyes. The eyes never lie. And for fun, try it the next time you're at church or listening to some globalist give a speech. Just make sure to ask permission to touch their face.)
***
Listened to another interesting piece on The Research Channel today. A female Climatologist was telling the audience the main driving indicator behind today's current changing climate is the Sun. She explained how the ocean and the tundra are the two largest reserves of CO2 and given the fact that temps have indeed been rising due to natural earth cycles, it is the ocean and the tundra that are releasing the most CO2. Not you and I and our automobile and incondescent lightbulb usage. However, that being said, she also added that humankind is indeed speeding up this process. Her belief is that we will continue to see the warming (although the earth is trying to balance herself out by showing signs of cooling but it isn't enough to balance out the scale) before plunging into an Ice Age. Such a setup is simply following a pattern Earth has gone through before.
Some common sense insight. On television. Finally.
As I've said before - follow the money and positions of power behind those who say global climate change is caused by humans. Watch who they blame. Watch how they sit back and enjoy the unnecessary divisiveness both sides of this issue engage in, letting their emotions get the better of them whilst refusing to find any sort of balance OR common sense OR logic from the opposing side--all the while missing the real agenda behind the curtains. Watch as they tell YOU to change whilst they head off to their next million dollar lecture in their limo's and private jets only to return home to their over-sized mansions and rarely used tennis courts and pools. Follow these folks and the stringent policies and controls they are forcing upon you and I while allowing the MAIN polluters (i.e. big biz) to continue on with their destructive ways. Watch as these same folks dismiss REAL change such as allowing for the worldwide growing of Hemp, which could eliminate the need for such environmentally destructive items such as cotton, coal and oil. Power With Hemp, baby.
***
Listened to a piece on C-Span earlier in the week. Host was interviewing Steve (puke) Forbes and folks were calling in discussing the economy. One guy was nailing truth after truth, showing the obvious flaws and controls of our "free" market capitalistic system. He was cut off after a few moments which left Mr. N and I saying "Hey, let the guy speak!" Mr. Forbes brilliant response was packaged in a nice little system spin game of verbal puppet speak, praising the results of capitalism, worshipping it for how it has allowed for such great achievements and advancements. Of course he left out it has allowed for such things FOR THE FEW AT THE EXPENSE OF THE REST. And of course, his spewing verbage was presented with that evil smile he is known for along with those tiny little lying, lifeless little slits of flesh known to you and I as "eyes". (A surefire way of really reading someone on television is by covering up the lower portion of their faces and looking only at their eyes. The eyes never lie. And for fun, try it the next time you're at church or listening to some globalist give a speech. Just make sure to ask permission to touch their face.)
***
Listened to another interesting piece on The Research Channel today. A female Climatologist was telling the audience the main driving indicator behind today's current changing climate is the Sun. She explained how the ocean and the tundra are the two largest reserves of CO2 and given the fact that temps have indeed been rising due to natural earth cycles, it is the ocean and the tundra that are releasing the most CO2. Not you and I and our automobile and incondescent lightbulb usage. However, that being said, she also added that humankind is indeed speeding up this process. Her belief is that we will continue to see the warming (although the earth is trying to balance herself out by showing signs of cooling but it isn't enough to balance out the scale) before plunging into an Ice Age. Such a setup is simply following a pattern Earth has gone through before.
Some common sense insight. On television. Finally.
As I've said before - follow the money and positions of power behind those who say global climate change is caused by humans. Watch who they blame. Watch how they sit back and enjoy the unnecessary divisiveness both sides of this issue engage in, letting their emotions get the better of them whilst refusing to find any sort of balance OR common sense OR logic from the opposing side--all the while missing the real agenda behind the curtains. Watch as they tell YOU to change whilst they head off to their next million dollar lecture in their limo's and private jets only to return home to their over-sized mansions and rarely used tennis courts and pools. Follow these folks and the stringent policies and controls they are forcing upon you and I while allowing the MAIN polluters (i.e. big biz) to continue on with their destructive ways. Watch as these same folks dismiss REAL change such as allowing for the worldwide growing of Hemp, which could eliminate the need for such environmentally destructive items such as cotton, coal and oil. Power With Hemp, baby.
12.16.2009
CNN to Lou Dobbs: Resign Or You're Fired.
Well, this is what happens when you don't have cable and don't spend much time watching mainstream media. You miss out on some things. I just received an e-mail stating Lou Dobbs got canned. (In reality, he resigned, albeit it under pressure. According to this story, CNN had been trying to find a way to remove Dobbs because he had become a liability about some of his "controversial" views on Obama and immigration.)
Oh, boo fucking hoo, CNN. Isn't being controversial what authentic journalism is all about? A search for truth? CNN is no better than Fox and the rest of that ilk. Whether you like Dobbs or not, he had the balls to speak of those things unspeakable. I put Dobbs in the same category as I do Beck. While I think some of his views are whacked and while I think his sudden attack on this current administration while essentially dismissing the hell from the previous 8 years, I admire the guy for talking about the collapsing economy and the Big Brother agenda.
Oh, boo fucking hoo, CNN. Isn't being controversial what authentic journalism is all about? A search for truth? CNN is no better than Fox and the rest of that ilk. Whether you like Dobbs or not, he had the balls to speak of those things unspeakable. I put Dobbs in the same category as I do Beck. While I think some of his views are whacked and while I think his sudden attack on this current administration while essentially dismissing the hell from the previous 8 years, I admire the guy for talking about the collapsing economy and the Big Brother agenda.
12.14.2009
Oh Say Can You See...The End Of My Country
Some stats I've collected to put to rest the pointless arguments of those who still have and the elite (who are still going after the "still haves") who claim if only you just apply yourself you can have the new car, the new house, that fantastic good paying job with benefits. blah blah blah
*Between the years 1997-2007, real wages increased only 75 cents an hour. This, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics.
*During this 10 year period, cost of living increased 26%. Of this 26%:
Housing increased 29%
Day care/child care increased 52%
Gas increased 134%
Medical insurance increased 43%
(And need I mention that food costs have jumped approximately 25% in the past two years alone.)
*Real value of the minimum wage peaked in 1968, when it was worth $7.73 in today's dollar.
*In 1972 you could buy a 3 bedroom, 2 bath split level home in a nice subarb in Lake Oswego Oregon for $17,000. That same home today sells for well over $300,000.
*Along the lines of the previous, in 1966 the median home price for the country was $21,000. As of 2008 it was $232,000.
*Along the lines of the above housing costs, in 1966 the average income was $7600, more than adaquate to afford a $21,000 home. As of 2008, the average income was $58,000, grossly falling short of affording that $232,000 home.
*There has been a downward trend in real wages since 1974, with only a temporary increase in the late 90's, during Clinton's second administration.
Where's all that wealth going? Well of course most readers of my blog, being the intelligent folks you are, know. But for those who haven't quite figured that one out, here's a little stat to help point you in the right direction:
*In 1978, the average CEO's pay was 78 times that of the typical minimum wage worker. By 2005, that same CEO's pay was 851 times that of the same worker.
*Between the years 1997-2007, real wages increased only 75 cents an hour. This, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics.
*During this 10 year period, cost of living increased 26%. Of this 26%:
Housing increased 29%
Day care/child care increased 52%
Gas increased 134%
Medical insurance increased 43%
(And need I mention that food costs have jumped approximately 25% in the past two years alone.)
*Real value of the minimum wage peaked in 1968, when it was worth $7.73 in today's dollar.
*In 1972 you could buy a 3 bedroom, 2 bath split level home in a nice subarb in Lake Oswego Oregon for $17,000. That same home today sells for well over $300,000.
*Along the lines of the previous, in 1966 the median home price for the country was $21,000. As of 2008 it was $232,000.
*Along the lines of the above housing costs, in 1966 the average income was $7600, more than adaquate to afford a $21,000 home. As of 2008, the average income was $58,000, grossly falling short of affording that $232,000 home.
*There has been a downward trend in real wages since 1974, with only a temporary increase in the late 90's, during Clinton's second administration.
Where's all that wealth going? Well of course most readers of my blog, being the intelligent folks you are, know. But for those who haven't quite figured that one out, here's a little stat to help point you in the right direction:
*In 1978, the average CEO's pay was 78 times that of the typical minimum wage worker. By 2005, that same CEO's pay was 851 times that of the same worker.
Huh?
I read something spoken by a homeless Vietnam Vet. He said he still believes in "hard work and earning wages" as a means of supporting oneself. And yet, he applied that ethic to his own life and he's now homeless.
And yet he still believes in this ethic? This western capitalistic individualistic ethic that failed him along with millions of others (numbers only growing). And here he still sits clinging to a dying way of life. Awake, yet still somehow asleep.
And yet he still believes in this ethic? This western capitalistic individualistic ethic that failed him along with millions of others (numbers only growing). And here he still sits clinging to a dying way of life. Awake, yet still somehow asleep.
12.12.2009
The Left and The Ostrich Effect
If this is your first time reading, I don't want the title to cause you to assume I'm a rightie, ok? I'm not. I'm beyond both the right and the left, off in my own little field where seeing behind smoke and mirrors, political double-speak and other bullshit is the norm. Labels only divide and that's exactly what the PTB want amongst the people: Division.
That being said....... I've been watching the left frantically hang on to the last little threads of rope, desperately trying to avoid the inevitable - that their "Mr. Change We Can Believe In" sold them a bag of lies. Gitmo is simply being relocated. Nation invading remains part of U.S. foreign policy. Sucking the wealth from the people and passing it along to the elite continues. The crimes of the previous administration are simply being swept underneath the rug. Jobs continue to leave this country with absolutely no real solid, long-term, permanent jobs policies having been created. Despite his pledge to back off on medical marijuana raids, his DEA buddies have only increased their war (on the people) in Cali.
Need I go on?
To quote Michael Moore (regarding Obama and his Afghanistan policy): "Our president cannot be drinking the same kool-aid as Bush. I refuse to believe it."
And that's the problem. Mr. Moore and his well-meaning ilk are exhibiting the Ostrich Effect, which is the refusal to see the truth when it's as clear as the sun in the sky in the middle of a hot summer day.
Hey, realizing we were fooled is difficult to admit in this individualistic society of ours. And owning our own mistakes, all the more difficult.
While I have sympathy for these folks, there is no time to waste. These folks simply must pull their heads out of the sand and own up to the fact that they were called to vote for this man for the following reasons:
1) He's black. (Own it folks. You know that's a part of it.)
2) He orates beautifully. Well ok, he orates better than Bush and after 8 years of such brutal assaults on the english language, any improvement was going to provide a sense of attraction and relief.
3) He tossed around the "I was against the Iraq war from the start" mantra.
4) He used the word "change" 10,356 times (my stat).
In short, he played on the people's desperation, their sense of hope and faith.
And that should have all of you Obama supporters even more upset than realizing the theft of the 2000 Election by Bush and Co. One is subtle, another more blatantly obvious. I mean come on, Bush himself even stated he would be taking Florida. You could "mark" his word on that.
So what's it gonna be? You ready to remove that head from the sand and join in with the folks who see the light? If so, you will be eagerly welcomed.
That being said....... I've been watching the left frantically hang on to the last little threads of rope, desperately trying to avoid the inevitable - that their "Mr. Change We Can Believe In" sold them a bag of lies. Gitmo is simply being relocated. Nation invading remains part of U.S. foreign policy. Sucking the wealth from the people and passing it along to the elite continues. The crimes of the previous administration are simply being swept underneath the rug. Jobs continue to leave this country with absolutely no real solid, long-term, permanent jobs policies having been created. Despite his pledge to back off on medical marijuana raids, his DEA buddies have only increased their war (on the people) in Cali.
Need I go on?
To quote Michael Moore (regarding Obama and his Afghanistan policy): "Our president cannot be drinking the same kool-aid as Bush. I refuse to believe it."
And that's the problem. Mr. Moore and his well-meaning ilk are exhibiting the Ostrich Effect, which is the refusal to see the truth when it's as clear as the sun in the sky in the middle of a hot summer day.
Hey, realizing we were fooled is difficult to admit in this individualistic society of ours. And owning our own mistakes, all the more difficult.
While I have sympathy for these folks, there is no time to waste. These folks simply must pull their heads out of the sand and own up to the fact that they were called to vote for this man for the following reasons:
1) He's black. (Own it folks. You know that's a part of it.)
2) He orates beautifully. Well ok, he orates better than Bush and after 8 years of such brutal assaults on the english language, any improvement was going to provide a sense of attraction and relief.
3) He tossed around the "I was against the Iraq war from the start" mantra.
4) He used the word "change" 10,356 times (my stat).
In short, he played on the people's desperation, their sense of hope and faith.
And that should have all of you Obama supporters even more upset than realizing the theft of the 2000 Election by Bush and Co. One is subtle, another more blatantly obvious. I mean come on, Bush himself even stated he would be taking Florida. You could "mark" his word on that.
So what's it gonna be? You ready to remove that head from the sand and join in with the folks who see the light? If so, you will be eagerly welcomed.
Insurance Companies: Constitution Molesters
As I looked through our latest insurance bill and noticed my car policy has jumped up, I recalled a couple of bills passed by our brilliant legislatures in Salem which increases the property damage liability limits, minimum uninsured motorist property damage limits and the minimum personal injury protection. All of this bullshit is simply another means for the insurance companies to steal more of our money as they hand out dollars to the very legislative twitheads who passed this bogus legislation to begin with. Oh sure, they did it under the guise of "protecting the consumer" (by claiming a family whose one family member was riding in a vehicle involved in an accident did not receive the full benefits of the policy due to family exclusion limits) but we all know such lines are smoke and mirrors, meant to keep us even more regulated and controlled. And besides, since when on earth did the injury of a citizen ever truly effect our legislature? Like they care about the people's well-being?
Give me a break.
Mandated insurance (of any kind) is unconstitutional and these folks know it. (Note to Obama supporters who voted for him while knowing he planned to mandate that all of us carry health insurance: You getting the picture yet?) Knowingly causing such damage to our rights is simply another form of molestation, hence the term "Constitution Molesters".
Give me a break.
Mandated insurance (of any kind) is unconstitutional and these folks know it. (Note to Obama supporters who voted for him while knowing he planned to mandate that all of us carry health insurance: You getting the picture yet?) Knowingly causing such damage to our rights is simply another form of molestation, hence the term "Constitution Molesters".
11.30.2009
Orb in Photo?
Mr. N took this photo of me and baby-to-be last month. We're taking monthly photos to watch our growing baby and my expanding belly (doggie Shilo wants to be in the photos too). After uploading this one onto the computer, I noticed the bright circular object in the upper left-hand corner and immediately felt a chill. The next picture he took showed another circular object of the same size, not nearly as bright (quite faint actually) same height only it had moved a bit more to the right. Was this the spirit of our baby wanting to be in the picture, wanting to appear as something more than just a bump on mama's belly? I'm not totally convinced, but that is my hunch. I e-mailed the photo to a place that investigates orbs and haven't heard back yet.
What do you think?
11.27.2009
A Peek Inside Being Pregnant in America
While I plan on putting this up at my other blog, I decided to post this here as well as it's a subject most aren't aware of unless they go through the experience directly or indirectly. As regular readers know, Mr. N and I are pregnant, expecting our first baby next spring. I thought the early stage symptoms of fatigue and nausea were stressful. Little did I know, dealing with the medical system was going to add its own stress.
From the start, we have been adamant in our decisions to not vaccinate the baby, to bypass genetic testing, to have a natural delivery and unless it is medically warranted, to forgo any medical intervention and very recently, to forgo any additional ultrasounds.
So far, while our decisions have been respected, our choices have not been met without a fight, without fear being put into our faces and with all of these supposed "studies". While they claim it's all about empowering ME, it's really about covering their asses (meaning they won't want me to sue them).
To begin with, these "studies" they cite have not been shown to me, despite my asking to see:
1) The actual results.
2) Who was behind the study.
3) Who performed the study.
4) Who funded the study.
Just this past week, we had a Doppler. For those not familiar with the procedure, it's a little hand held device that looks like a microphone attached to a Walkman. It sends sound waves into the womb, into the amniotic sac, to detect heart rate. Prior to this, we had had two ultrasounds.
With the first ultrasound, the baby was about the size of a pea, so movement was really not noticeable. However, with the second ultrasound, what began with the image of a calm little fetus, gently sucking, suddenly took an interesting change. After a few moments of sending the sound wave signals into my uterus, our calm little baby began to thrash violently. It kicked, punched and even flipped from its back to its side and back again. It caught me off guard.
"Is that normal?" I asked.
The midwife assured me that yes, it was indeed normal as they are quite active.
"Yes," I said, "But she seems to be bothered by the ultrasound."
Oh no need to worry. She hardly feels a thing. She's safe and protected in there.
Hardly feels a thing?
Wrong. I found studies (PLURAL) that claim otherwise. In one study, scientists mimicked the sound alone and determined that when ultrasound waves are passed into the womb, the sound decibel is equal to that of a subway train. That's a very loud sound to an adult. Imagine what that can do to a developing baby.
Not only is the sound terribly loud, but the heat coming from these ultrasound machines raises the heat in the amniotic sac and can damage to developing tissue. The FDA even issued this following warning in 2004: "Ultrasound is a form of energy -- and even at low levels, laboratory studies have found it can produce physical effects in tissue, such as jarring vibrations and a rise in temperature." (This despite their allowance of an 8 FOLD increase in power output, to which so far no tests have been done to test for any long-term adverse effects.)
Unfuckingbelievable. And yet, not really given this is western capitalism at work.
As any pregnant woman will tell you, we are warned by the VERY SAME MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS WHO GIVE US THESE ULTRASOUNDS against exposing ourselves to things that raise body temperature, such as sauna's and hot tubs. Even having a fever over 100 for any extended period of time is supposed to be brought down as soon as possible to avoid potentially harming the growing baby. Again, these very same medical "professionals" use ultrasound technology regularly throughout the pregnancy, particularly in the very critical, early stages of fetal development?
I N S A N E.
With this Doppler we had this past week (which I wasn't aware was along the lines of the same technology as ultrasounds), I noticed the same pattern as we experienced with the previous ultrasound. What began at first as nothing but a strong, solid, precious little heartbeat took a different turn. Again, within moments, we heard this "BAM BAM BAM" sound as though the baby were violently kicking.
"Oh isn't that cute? It sounds like she's hiccuping!" the midwife said.
"Hiccup?!" I said. "That sounded more like a kick to me." (And HELLO!? "CUTE"??? I don't THINK so.)
Well the kicking only continued for the next few moments so I said, "Enough! I don't think she likes this!" and pushed the thing away from me. Daddy to be and I discussed this on the way home and our parental instincts were both on the same page: She doesn't like these ultrasound procedures. We both overwhelmingly, strongly just KNEW and KNOW this.
So..no more ultrasounds or dopplers...
Which I relayed to my doctor's office the next day while also stating we would not be doing the 20 week ultrasound (which checks for abnormalities, not to mention it is an HOUR LONG PROCEDURE).
60 minutes of hell when our baby has made it clear after just a minute or two she does NOT like the crap coming out of these "advances in medical science". NO FUCKING WAY. (FMI see this link and this link on ultrasound technology and its risks. They're powerful articles and I was absolutely horrifed, as was Mr. N, after reading them. I can only pray that we haven't unknowingly harmed our baby through the god damn ignorance of medical "professionals". I am remaining positive that our little miracle is well and thriving. I don't often ask for prayers, but I am now. Any like-minded thoughts sent our baby's way is very much appreciated!)
Well, within an hour, the phone rang. It was the midwife who ordered the test. She just wanted to make sure I was making an "educated" decision. Yes we are. Question is, are you?
After making attempts to somehow "justify" our decision, I finally thought 'I don't need to justify SHIT to these people' so I said: "I'm done discussing this. Our decision is made." I thought the conversation was over. I was wrong.
The conversation quickly turned into me needing to be "open" to such testing if I haven't delivered by week 38 or 40. Apparently my chances of delivering a stillborn rise significantly if I go past this time given my "maternal age" (a term i am SO FUCKING SICK OF HEARING). Again, I asked for the stats and again, she didn't "know them off the top of " her head. So get them and present them to me, I said. She said she will. She did mention it is probably something like a jump from 1 in 1000 births to 3 in 1000 births. So, statistically that is a threefold jump even though the chances are so overwhelmingly significantly low. Yes, she agreed with that.
So then WHY FILL MY HEAD WITH SUCH FEARFUL SHIT?
(I decided to do my OWN research on the subject and found that yes, the jump, while being 2-3 times higher in women over 35, is still overwhelmingly small. In fact, you see the majority of this jump in more "deprived" areas where medical care isn't routine. So statistically, I have about the same chance of delivering a NORMAL HEALTHY baby without having to worry about the stillborn issue as ANY OTHER WOMEN UNDER 35.)
Again, all of this is to "educate" me.
Oh yeah? If you want to EDUCATE me, how about you PROVIDE ME THE PROOF of these studies? How about you PROVIDE ME THE SAME INFORMATION I FOUND OUT ABOUT THE ULTRASOUND TECHNOLOGY, INCLUDING SOME PROOF FROM OUR VERY OWN GOVERNMENT?
Then there's the whole vaccination debate. While we don't have to "worry" about that much with this particular clinic (we've found a pediatrician who is respectful of parent's decision to not vaccinate, which is a growing trend even in our neck of the woods--a relief for certain) in that the baby will only have just the one interaction w/them and that is at birth, we've still had to undergo questioning as well as their "opinions" on the matter. Hospital policy (aka standard procedure) says at birth, newborns will receive (unless parents say otherwise which believe you me we will!) the hepatitis b vaccination, along with an injection of vitamin k as well as an eye treatment of an antibiotic cream. We're saying no to all three, the last two ONLY being allowed if, again, it is medically warranted. (You find yourself saying that term a lot when you're a parent-to-be who thinks like us). The vitamin K injection is given in case (hospital speak for "cover our ass") the baby experiences injury/bleeding. Newborn baby bodies don't clot well during the first hours. I asked the midwife if the hospital provides the oral dosage of vitamin K, which after doing my own research, I learned was the best, most obvious, most effective means of providing this vitamin. Doing so in a shot in muscle tissue doesn't work well and has in fact been linked with newborn jaundice, a benign condition (a ridiculous term considering no babies have ever been asked "did this skin yellowing cause you any pain or discomfort?"). Midwife said "No, the hospital only injects it via a needle."
"Why?" I asked.
"That's just the way it's done."
"Yes," I continued. "But I read where oral injection is the most beneficial and doesn't have the risks or side-effects."
She couldn't disagree with me. FMI on Vitamin K injections, check out this link. I also learned that the first breastmilk provides an ample supply of vitamin K. Since I plan on starting to breasfeed immediately upon delivery, I think she will be ok. Think the midwife offered me this information? Nope. I had to inform her of my awareness of this. She confirmed this fact. Sigh.
Nature knows what she's doing, doesn't she? Miraculous and beautiful.
Then there's the hepatitis B vaccine insanity.
"Why on EARTH would we give our baby this vaccine when it is only caught through the sharing of bodily fluids, usually through sex and sharing of needles?" Mr. N boldly spoke up.
The midwife could only shake her head in agreement, but then went on to say the following rather haunting statement:
"Their idea is that they will catch everyone at birth when they're in the hospital setting and in that way, wipe out hepatitis B altogether."
Holy crap. "Catch" everyone? As though babies are cattle to these "they" folks. Oh wait, you and I are so why not babies, too?
I digress.
"But there has never been any solid evidence to show that vaccines of ANY kind actually work AT reducing or eliminating disease," I pointed out.
As a medical professional, she had nothing to say to that.
As far as the antibiotic eye-ointment, which is used, again "in case" of an eye infection which can happen as baby goes through the womb and comes in contact with my bodily fluid and bacteria. Ok, I thought, I can be open to that possibility occurring and need for such a cream. However, Mr. N and I once again used the magical term (drum roll please): Only if "medically warranted."
I swear to you all, we have spent MORE TIME talking about what COULD go wrong and defending our positions than we have about actually talking about what is going RIGHT. There has been next to no discussion about my health (which at this point is excellent), about my nutrition (very good), about exercise (I'm doing 45 minutes of prenatal yoga 3 days a week, plus walking and dancing, doing some hand weights and modified core training on my yoga ball on occasion). And...Not ONCE has anyone asked how I FEEL emotionally and mentally about being pregnant, delivery and being a mother. And my goodness there are a host of studies that show all of these factors are FAR MORE IMPORTANT than maternal age alone.
Thankfully I had the knowledge to know about doula's. We're interviewing our (potential) doula next week. She's from The Netherlands and gave birth to two of her children at home, without medical intervention. Talking with her over the phone, she said giving birth here in the States is a totally different experience than it is in The Netherlands (although sadly, she said that is changing as things become more corporate/westernized/fear-based). In dutchland, birth is viewed as it should be: A natural event. Fear isn't put into the minds of the birthing mothers as the people over there know this only adds to the stress mothers can experience. That was the one big difference, she said. Over here, pregnancy and delivery is to be feared. In The Netherlands, pregnancy and delivery is not something that is feared. Medical intervention is only used when, again, medically warranted. She sounds just awesome and just what I'm looking for. (And even my midwife said she is wonderful.) She will be my sounding board (along with Mr. N) during my delivery, when I will be completely immersed and absorbed in birthing this beautiful little baby I am carrying.
From the start, we have been adamant in our decisions to not vaccinate the baby, to bypass genetic testing, to have a natural delivery and unless it is medically warranted, to forgo any medical intervention and very recently, to forgo any additional ultrasounds.
So far, while our decisions have been respected, our choices have not been met without a fight, without fear being put into our faces and with all of these supposed "studies". While they claim it's all about empowering ME, it's really about covering their asses (meaning they won't want me to sue them).
To begin with, these "studies" they cite have not been shown to me, despite my asking to see:
1) The actual results.
2) Who was behind the study.
3) Who performed the study.
4) Who funded the study.
Just this past week, we had a Doppler. For those not familiar with the procedure, it's a little hand held device that looks like a microphone attached to a Walkman. It sends sound waves into the womb, into the amniotic sac, to detect heart rate. Prior to this, we had had two ultrasounds.
With the first ultrasound, the baby was about the size of a pea, so movement was really not noticeable. However, with the second ultrasound, what began with the image of a calm little fetus, gently sucking, suddenly took an interesting change. After a few moments of sending the sound wave signals into my uterus, our calm little baby began to thrash violently. It kicked, punched and even flipped from its back to its side and back again. It caught me off guard.
"Is that normal?" I asked.
The midwife assured me that yes, it was indeed normal as they are quite active.
"Yes," I said, "But she seems to be bothered by the ultrasound."
Oh no need to worry. She hardly feels a thing. She's safe and protected in there.
Hardly feels a thing?
Wrong. I found studies (PLURAL) that claim otherwise. In one study, scientists mimicked the sound alone and determined that when ultrasound waves are passed into the womb, the sound decibel is equal to that of a subway train. That's a very loud sound to an adult. Imagine what that can do to a developing baby.
Not only is the sound terribly loud, but the heat coming from these ultrasound machines raises the heat in the amniotic sac and can damage to developing tissue. The FDA even issued this following warning in 2004: "Ultrasound is a form of energy -- and even at low levels, laboratory studies have found it can produce physical effects in tissue, such as jarring vibrations and a rise in temperature." (This despite their allowance of an 8 FOLD increase in power output, to which so far no tests have been done to test for any long-term adverse effects.)
Unfuckingbelievable. And yet, not really given this is western capitalism at work.
As any pregnant woman will tell you, we are warned by the VERY SAME MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS WHO GIVE US THESE ULTRASOUNDS against exposing ourselves to things that raise body temperature, such as sauna's and hot tubs. Even having a fever over 100 for any extended period of time is supposed to be brought down as soon as possible to avoid potentially harming the growing baby. Again, these very same medical "professionals" use ultrasound technology regularly throughout the pregnancy, particularly in the very critical, early stages of fetal development?
I N S A N E.
With this Doppler we had this past week (which I wasn't aware was along the lines of the same technology as ultrasounds), I noticed the same pattern as we experienced with the previous ultrasound. What began at first as nothing but a strong, solid, precious little heartbeat took a different turn. Again, within moments, we heard this "BAM BAM BAM" sound as though the baby were violently kicking.
"Oh isn't that cute? It sounds like she's hiccuping!" the midwife said.
"Hiccup?!" I said. "That sounded more like a kick to me." (And HELLO!? "CUTE"??? I don't THINK so.)
Well the kicking only continued for the next few moments so I said, "Enough! I don't think she likes this!" and pushed the thing away from me. Daddy to be and I discussed this on the way home and our parental instincts were both on the same page: She doesn't like these ultrasound procedures. We both overwhelmingly, strongly just KNEW and KNOW this.
So..no more ultrasounds or dopplers...
Which I relayed to my doctor's office the next day while also stating we would not be doing the 20 week ultrasound (which checks for abnormalities, not to mention it is an HOUR LONG PROCEDURE).
60 minutes of hell when our baby has made it clear after just a minute or two she does NOT like the crap coming out of these "advances in medical science". NO FUCKING WAY. (FMI see this link and this link on ultrasound technology and its risks. They're powerful articles and I was absolutely horrifed, as was Mr. N, after reading them. I can only pray that we haven't unknowingly harmed our baby through the god damn ignorance of medical "professionals". I am remaining positive that our little miracle is well and thriving. I don't often ask for prayers, but I am now. Any like-minded thoughts sent our baby's way is very much appreciated!)
Well, within an hour, the phone rang. It was the midwife who ordered the test. She just wanted to make sure I was making an "educated" decision. Yes we are. Question is, are you?
After making attempts to somehow "justify" our decision, I finally thought 'I don't need to justify SHIT to these people' so I said: "I'm done discussing this. Our decision is made." I thought the conversation was over. I was wrong.
The conversation quickly turned into me needing to be "open" to such testing if I haven't delivered by week 38 or 40. Apparently my chances of delivering a stillborn rise significantly if I go past this time given my "maternal age" (a term i am SO FUCKING SICK OF HEARING). Again, I asked for the stats and again, she didn't "know them off the top of " her head. So get them and present them to me, I said. She said she will. She did mention it is probably something like a jump from 1 in 1000 births to 3 in 1000 births. So, statistically that is a threefold jump even though the chances are so overwhelmingly significantly low. Yes, she agreed with that.
So then WHY FILL MY HEAD WITH SUCH FEARFUL SHIT?
(I decided to do my OWN research on the subject and found that yes, the jump, while being 2-3 times higher in women over 35, is still overwhelmingly small. In fact, you see the majority of this jump in more "deprived" areas where medical care isn't routine. So statistically, I have about the same chance of delivering a NORMAL HEALTHY baby without having to worry about the stillborn issue as ANY OTHER WOMEN UNDER 35.)
Again, all of this is to "educate" me.
Oh yeah? If you want to EDUCATE me, how about you PROVIDE ME THE PROOF of these studies? How about you PROVIDE ME THE SAME INFORMATION I FOUND OUT ABOUT THE ULTRASOUND TECHNOLOGY, INCLUDING SOME PROOF FROM OUR VERY OWN GOVERNMENT?
Then there's the whole vaccination debate. While we don't have to "worry" about that much with this particular clinic (we've found a pediatrician who is respectful of parent's decision to not vaccinate, which is a growing trend even in our neck of the woods--a relief for certain) in that the baby will only have just the one interaction w/them and that is at birth, we've still had to undergo questioning as well as their "opinions" on the matter. Hospital policy (aka standard procedure) says at birth, newborns will receive (unless parents say otherwise which believe you me we will!) the hepatitis b vaccination, along with an injection of vitamin k as well as an eye treatment of an antibiotic cream. We're saying no to all three, the last two ONLY being allowed if, again, it is medically warranted. (You find yourself saying that term a lot when you're a parent-to-be who thinks like us). The vitamin K injection is given in case (hospital speak for "cover our ass") the baby experiences injury/bleeding. Newborn baby bodies don't clot well during the first hours. I asked the midwife if the hospital provides the oral dosage of vitamin K, which after doing my own research, I learned was the best, most obvious, most effective means of providing this vitamin. Doing so in a shot in muscle tissue doesn't work well and has in fact been linked with newborn jaundice, a benign condition (a ridiculous term considering no babies have ever been asked "did this skin yellowing cause you any pain or discomfort?"). Midwife said "No, the hospital only injects it via a needle."
"Why?" I asked.
"That's just the way it's done."
"Yes," I continued. "But I read where oral injection is the most beneficial and doesn't have the risks or side-effects."
She couldn't disagree with me. FMI on Vitamin K injections, check out this link. I also learned that the first breastmilk provides an ample supply of vitamin K. Since I plan on starting to breasfeed immediately upon delivery, I think she will be ok. Think the midwife offered me this information? Nope. I had to inform her of my awareness of this. She confirmed this fact. Sigh.
Nature knows what she's doing, doesn't she? Miraculous and beautiful.
Then there's the hepatitis B vaccine insanity.
"Why on EARTH would we give our baby this vaccine when it is only caught through the sharing of bodily fluids, usually through sex and sharing of needles?" Mr. N boldly spoke up.
The midwife could only shake her head in agreement, but then went on to say the following rather haunting statement:
"Their idea is that they will catch everyone at birth when they're in the hospital setting and in that way, wipe out hepatitis B altogether."
Holy crap. "Catch" everyone? As though babies are cattle to these "they" folks. Oh wait, you and I are so why not babies, too?
I digress.
"But there has never been any solid evidence to show that vaccines of ANY kind actually work AT reducing or eliminating disease," I pointed out.
As a medical professional, she had nothing to say to that.
As far as the antibiotic eye-ointment, which is used, again "in case" of an eye infection which can happen as baby goes through the womb and comes in contact with my bodily fluid and bacteria. Ok, I thought, I can be open to that possibility occurring and need for such a cream. However, Mr. N and I once again used the magical term (drum roll please): Only if "medically warranted."
I swear to you all, we have spent MORE TIME talking about what COULD go wrong and defending our positions than we have about actually talking about what is going RIGHT. There has been next to no discussion about my health (which at this point is excellent), about my nutrition (very good), about exercise (I'm doing 45 minutes of prenatal yoga 3 days a week, plus walking and dancing, doing some hand weights and modified core training on my yoga ball on occasion). And...Not ONCE has anyone asked how I FEEL emotionally and mentally about being pregnant, delivery and being a mother. And my goodness there are a host of studies that show all of these factors are FAR MORE IMPORTANT than maternal age alone.
Thankfully I had the knowledge to know about doula's. We're interviewing our (potential) doula next week. She's from The Netherlands and gave birth to two of her children at home, without medical intervention. Talking with her over the phone, she said giving birth here in the States is a totally different experience than it is in The Netherlands (although sadly, she said that is changing as things become more corporate/westernized/fear-based). In dutchland, birth is viewed as it should be: A natural event. Fear isn't put into the minds of the birthing mothers as the people over there know this only adds to the stress mothers can experience. That was the one big difference, she said. Over here, pregnancy and delivery is to be feared. In The Netherlands, pregnancy and delivery is not something that is feared. Medical intervention is only used when, again, medically warranted. She sounds just awesome and just what I'm looking for. (And even my midwife said she is wonderful.) She will be my sounding board (along with Mr. N) during my delivery, when I will be completely immersed and absorbed in birthing this beautiful little baby I am carrying.
NY Judge Sticks It To A Bank By Wiping Out Couples Mortgage
A Judge with balls for sure. Maybe this be the beginning of a trend. May this set a precedent which will grant such dismissal to ALL struggling homeowners. Then once we clean up that mess we can focus on the millions of us who must rent simply due to greed and misguided values.
"Suffolk Judge Jeffrey Spinner erased $525,000 in mortgage payments that OneWest Bank was demanding from the couple. That includes $291,000 in principal and $235,000 in interest and penalties. The decision leaves the couple completely debt-free on their home. The Horoskis were only paying interest on their mortgage after falling behind due to health problems and a change in their interest rate, WABC said...Spinner slammed the bank's "harsh, repugnant, shocking and repulsive" acts and said the bank "must be appropriately sanctioned so as to deter it from imposing further mortifying abuse against [the couple],"..."
"Suffolk Judge Jeffrey Spinner erased $525,000 in mortgage payments that OneWest Bank was demanding from the couple. That includes $291,000 in principal and $235,000 in interest and penalties. The decision leaves the couple completely debt-free on their home. The Horoskis were only paying interest on their mortgage after falling behind due to health problems and a change in their interest rate, WABC said...Spinner slammed the bank's "harsh, repugnant, shocking and repulsive" acts and said the bank "must be appropriately sanctioned so as to deter it from imposing further mortifying abuse against [the couple],"..."
11.21.2009
Did Ya Hear About...?
...the 40-something year-old woman from Ontario who died two days after receiving the H1N1 vaccination? And yet the headlines read "Ontario Woman Dies From Swine Flu".
Uh huh.
p.s. Don't forget to check out my new pregnancy blog (and leave a comment too if you want).
Uh huh.
p.s. Don't forget to check out my new pregnancy blog (and leave a comment too if you want).
11.13.2009
Pregnancy Blog Has Moved
Here's the link to my new/updated pregnancy blog. mamavictoria.wordpress.com The old one is being deleted upon posting this post.
I must say, I like wordpress better than blogger. But I'll still be keeping my musies and obsies up and going, while returning to my original username of Nina (ninja princess warrior).
I must say, I like wordpress better than blogger. But I'll still be keeping my musies and obsies up and going, while returning to my original username of Nina (ninja princess warrior).
11.04.2009
Potpourri
Not much blogging lately. Focus has primarily been on this pregnancy deal, researching the normal things an expectant parent does plus seeking out other parents-to-be for support, laughter and the like. (If you haven't done so, check out my new pregnancy blog for exciting updates and humorous commentary. I'm thinking of moving it to another site so I can get this one back to Nina. I'm thinking wordpress and will post if/when I do.)
We had quite the experience with Qwest a couple of weeks ago. In a nutshell, we were lied to by the salesperson. We had signed up for a bundle deal on phone, cable television and high speed internet. It was a very good bargain, less than what we are currently paying. We were told there were absolutely no contracts, that all three services were month-to-month and we could cancel at anytime. When we asked about the cable, Direct TV (which we did not know was satellite--we don't pay attention to such things), we were never told it was Satellite TV. "This is cable television, right? That's what we have with Comcast and that's what I want to keep." I said. Yes, the sales clerk responded. We were assured there were no other fees hidden inside this great deal. After spending about 45 minutes on the phone working everything out, we spent much of the afternoon getting organized...gathering e-mail addresses, internet sites we visit. I composed an e-mail notifying people of our upcoming change of e-mail address.
Around 5pm, I noticed an e-mail from Direct TV. I opened it and read through it. First I was surprised to learn they're a Satellite provider. Next, I was additionally surprised to read of our TWO YEAR contract and $70 MONTHLY FEE (Qwest said it would be $34). There was also a list of extra little fees for equipment rental and the like.
WTF? I thought.
So we called Qwest and were informed that, yes indeedy, we were locked into a 2 year contract with Direct TV and that yes indeedy, their pricing information was correct. When we informed the CSR what we were told, he said "she was wrong".
So just as quickly as we thought we were getting a great deal, we canceled the entire package and thanked the CSR for allowing his company to waste our time.
Still not being totally satisfied, I decided to phone them up again and file a complaint. The gentleman I spoke with was profusely apologetic. He took the report and said it would be passed along to his Supervisor. However, he did nothing to attempt to rectify the situation. He made us no other offers, even after I said we would be going with their competitor.
So there you have it. Qwest sucks. They lie to their customers to get that sale. And when you're screwed over, they make no attempt at resolving the situation like. (And by the way, if you do decide to look into Qwest for one of their bundle packages, run like wild if you get hooked up with Stephanie from Idaho.)
***
We've had several near-misses with bicyclists lately in our town. There's this sense of aloofness (perhaps it's a bit of entitlement) some of these riders have. They don't think the rules of the road apply to them. They've run stop signs, causing us to slam on our brakes. They don't use hand signals (there's battery powered turn signals these folks can buy for a very reasonable price). They dart out in front of cars and they don't get right if they happen to be riding down the middle of the road, under the speed limit and you wish to pass. I'm tired of being flipped off when I point out their error (I'm pregnant and emotionally unpredictable. I may just get out of my vehicle and give one of these folks a good spanking.). Do they not care that, if they continue this behavior, they only increase their chances of getting hit? Is this what they want? Is it what they're looking for? The road belongs to us all and simply because you're on a bike does not mean you don't have to share it or follow the basic laws. These folks are as dangerous to road safety as are the folks who drive and talk on their cell phones. (I've already ranted about them enough on this blog so no need to do that now.)
***
There's a group of folks advocating for an end to homelessness in our community. Next week they're holding a meeting that I am thinking of attending. You see, I have an idea. It's practical and could be simple if only people would think outside of the box on this issue. (Most people in positions of power lack this skill.) My idea is to get the University's Sports Program, in particular the Football Program, to cough up a million dollars (or two) to buy some land and build a large apartment-style shelter. There would be room for garden space, including the space and ability to own some chickens, something the residents would be required to attend to (if physically able). I realize some who are homeless really do choose that life, based on who they are today as a result of their life experiences. But most don't want to have to figure out how to eat and where to sleep on a daily basis. The resources are already there to ensure no one has to ever ask themselves such questions. Instead of ripping up land to put up another unnecessary strip mall or build more of those tacky looking monstrous homes, let's instead use that land to provide for REAL human need, for those MOST in need. We can do it!
**
There is a real lack of authentic humor in today's media outlets. I'm so tired of sarcastic, crude behaviors disguised as humor that only really serve to insult. This is humor? Whenever one insults another in an attempt at being humorous, they lose me and only serve in making themselves look insecure. There is absolutely no humor to be found when someone is feeling ashamed, angry or in pain. Not saying I'm a prude as I enjoy some of the antics of south park-type humor on occasion (and in small doses). But that kind of humor has taken on a life of it's own whereby crude is now cool and authentic humor (along the lines of seinfeld, cosby and the like) is for sissies. Anybody can do crude. It doesn't take much talent. But to truly make someone laugh where no one gets harmed, now that's where real talent lies.
We had quite the experience with Qwest a couple of weeks ago. In a nutshell, we were lied to by the salesperson. We had signed up for a bundle deal on phone, cable television and high speed internet. It was a very good bargain, less than what we are currently paying. We were told there were absolutely no contracts, that all three services were month-to-month and we could cancel at anytime. When we asked about the cable, Direct TV (which we did not know was satellite--we don't pay attention to such things), we were never told it was Satellite TV. "This is cable television, right? That's what we have with Comcast and that's what I want to keep." I said. Yes, the sales clerk responded. We were assured there were no other fees hidden inside this great deal. After spending about 45 minutes on the phone working everything out, we spent much of the afternoon getting organized...gathering e-mail addresses, internet sites we visit. I composed an e-mail notifying people of our upcoming change of e-mail address.
Around 5pm, I noticed an e-mail from Direct TV. I opened it and read through it. First I was surprised to learn they're a Satellite provider. Next, I was additionally surprised to read of our TWO YEAR contract and $70 MONTHLY FEE (Qwest said it would be $34). There was also a list of extra little fees for equipment rental and the like.
WTF? I thought.
So we called Qwest and were informed that, yes indeedy, we were locked into a 2 year contract with Direct TV and that yes indeedy, their pricing information was correct. When we informed the CSR what we were told, he said "she was wrong".
So just as quickly as we thought we were getting a great deal, we canceled the entire package and thanked the CSR for allowing his company to waste our time.
Still not being totally satisfied, I decided to phone them up again and file a complaint. The gentleman I spoke with was profusely apologetic. He took the report and said it would be passed along to his Supervisor. However, he did nothing to attempt to rectify the situation. He made us no other offers, even after I said we would be going with their competitor.
So there you have it. Qwest sucks. They lie to their customers to get that sale. And when you're screwed over, they make no attempt at resolving the situation like. (And by the way, if you do decide to look into Qwest for one of their bundle packages, run like wild if you get hooked up with Stephanie from Idaho.)
***
We've had several near-misses with bicyclists lately in our town. There's this sense of aloofness (perhaps it's a bit of entitlement) some of these riders have. They don't think the rules of the road apply to them. They've run stop signs, causing us to slam on our brakes. They don't use hand signals (there's battery powered turn signals these folks can buy for a very reasonable price). They dart out in front of cars and they don't get right if they happen to be riding down the middle of the road, under the speed limit and you wish to pass. I'm tired of being flipped off when I point out their error (I'm pregnant and emotionally unpredictable. I may just get out of my vehicle and give one of these folks a good spanking.). Do they not care that, if they continue this behavior, they only increase their chances of getting hit? Is this what they want? Is it what they're looking for? The road belongs to us all and simply because you're on a bike does not mean you don't have to share it or follow the basic laws. These folks are as dangerous to road safety as are the folks who drive and talk on their cell phones. (I've already ranted about them enough on this blog so no need to do that now.)
***
There's a group of folks advocating for an end to homelessness in our community. Next week they're holding a meeting that I am thinking of attending. You see, I have an idea. It's practical and could be simple if only people would think outside of the box on this issue. (Most people in positions of power lack this skill.) My idea is to get the University's Sports Program, in particular the Football Program, to cough up a million dollars (or two) to buy some land and build a large apartment-style shelter. There would be room for garden space, including the space and ability to own some chickens, something the residents would be required to attend to (if physically able). I realize some who are homeless really do choose that life, based on who they are today as a result of their life experiences. But most don't want to have to figure out how to eat and where to sleep on a daily basis. The resources are already there to ensure no one has to ever ask themselves such questions. Instead of ripping up land to put up another unnecessary strip mall or build more of those tacky looking monstrous homes, let's instead use that land to provide for REAL human need, for those MOST in need. We can do it!
**
There is a real lack of authentic humor in today's media outlets. I'm so tired of sarcastic, crude behaviors disguised as humor that only really serve to insult. This is humor? Whenever one insults another in an attempt at being humorous, they lose me and only serve in making themselves look insecure. There is absolutely no humor to be found when someone is feeling ashamed, angry or in pain. Not saying I'm a prude as I enjoy some of the antics of south park-type humor on occasion (and in small doses). But that kind of humor has taken on a life of it's own whereby crude is now cool and authentic humor (along the lines of seinfeld, cosby and the like) is for sissies. Anybody can do crude. It doesn't take much talent. But to truly make someone laugh where no one gets harmed, now that's where real talent lies.
10.21.2009
Olbermann and Matthews: One's A Hero. One's A Putz.
I happened to catch a couple of pieces on MSNBC the past week. I say "happened to" catch because I rarely watch mainstream media of any sort. Sometimes I channel surf just to see what's going on. Last week, during a brief evening surf, I stumbled upon a long, passionate rant by Keith Olbermann where, in a nutshell, he nailed not only what is fucked up about health care/health insurance but what is fucked up about this system: Simply because one makes more money than another does NOT entitle them to the rights of health care, housing, food, clothing, education and the like. As Olbermann so eloquently and truthfully stated (paraphrased): "What kind of a country do we want? This is America. We're supposed to help out and share with those in need. I want my tax dollars going to help out those in need. Just because I happen to have the privilege of making a very good income does not mean I am more deserving of having access to the best health care in the country." He shared a couple of personal stories related to health care. Each point he made was sincere and spot on. I hope he continues on with his mission.
Then there's the flip side. That idiot Chris Matthews. He had on a constitutional lawyer who has organized a group of 2nd Amendment supporters whose purpose is to ensure the government does not impose martial law, enforce concentration camps and to ensure that our freedom's and liberties are not stripped away from us. Matthews accused the guy of creating hysteria while conveniently bypassing the guy's legitimate questions then interrupting and engaging in his typical egotistical bully-speak. Clue to Matthews: This isn't hysteria. This is a group of individuals who know their rights and who care enough about this country and its inhabitants to ensure federalism doesn't further spread it's slimy fingers into our lives. The lawyer had weak arguments. I was even hollering out points of truth for this guy to help him out. It was a classic case of bully vs. wimp. The funniest of all though was when the lawyer pointed out the Patriot Act and how that has ripped apart parts of our Constitution. Matthews response was to stumble for a bit before saying (paraphased): "Well yeah but that is currently being discussed in Congress to see if changes need to be made." Such a brilliant man. Sure. Trust the same idiots who passed this bogus piece of legislation to "discuss" it and make necessary changes. Right. Uh huh. Too many stage lights shinin' on Matthews fryin' his puppet brain.
Not that Olbermann isn't clueless himself in his own way. He doesn't see the real agenda behind the scenes. He thinks pro-gun groups are right wing nuts. He thinks any discussion of concentration or FEMA camps is hysteria. He would read through this blog and similar others and quickly assign the label "right wing" whilst totally bypassing all of my very otherwise "socialistic" ideas. It's really impossible to put a label on me you see, and those still asleep behind the wheel simply cannot stand not being able to label someone. It makes it that much easier for a person to keep stuck in their own mind thought and opinions.
Then there's the flip side. That idiot Chris Matthews. He had on a constitutional lawyer who has organized a group of 2nd Amendment supporters whose purpose is to ensure the government does not impose martial law, enforce concentration camps and to ensure that our freedom's and liberties are not stripped away from us. Matthews accused the guy of creating hysteria while conveniently bypassing the guy's legitimate questions then interrupting and engaging in his typical egotistical bully-speak. Clue to Matthews: This isn't hysteria. This is a group of individuals who know their rights and who care enough about this country and its inhabitants to ensure federalism doesn't further spread it's slimy fingers into our lives. The lawyer had weak arguments. I was even hollering out points of truth for this guy to help him out. It was a classic case of bully vs. wimp. The funniest of all though was when the lawyer pointed out the Patriot Act and how that has ripped apart parts of our Constitution. Matthews response was to stumble for a bit before saying (paraphased): "Well yeah but that is currently being discussed in Congress to see if changes need to be made." Such a brilliant man. Sure. Trust the same idiots who passed this bogus piece of legislation to "discuss" it and make necessary changes. Right. Uh huh. Too many stage lights shinin' on Matthews fryin' his puppet brain.
Not that Olbermann isn't clueless himself in his own way. He doesn't see the real agenda behind the scenes. He thinks pro-gun groups are right wing nuts. He thinks any discussion of concentration or FEMA camps is hysteria. He would read through this blog and similar others and quickly assign the label "right wing" whilst totally bypassing all of my very otherwise "socialistic" ideas. It's really impossible to put a label on me you see, and those still asleep behind the wheel simply cannot stand not being able to label someone. It makes it that much easier for a person to keep stuck in their own mind thought and opinions.
10.12.2009
New Blog Link
Here's the link to my new blog. The title alone tells you what's been going on and why I haven't posted much. It likely won't suit the interests of current blog readers, but if you know of anyone who may be interested, could you please pass it along? I'm looking to expand it and, hopefully, make some sort of an income out of it! I don't know how much I will be posting here at this point given how my focused has changed. So for the interim, political and social musings will likely be on hold. That is lest I find some (social/political) situation that relates to my current "condition" that I decide to muse about... : )
10.11.2009
Free From Facebook!!
After weeks of contemplating, I finally canceled my F/B page. Overall, I found the experience to be a waste of time where I felt I was at some pretentious cocktail party. I'm not into cocktail type talk, certainly not with people who aren't in my real world experiences. I want to know what people THINK and FEEL. I want REAL exchanges, not p/c crap. I was hoping to reconnect with certain people but I found out that was just not going to happen. Sometimes you just can't go home. But that's ok. Home just takes on a new meaning.
In addition, I realized how crazy it was to give out my full name to the world whilst sharing personal beliefs that are contrary to the way things are. May as well walk around with a bullseye on my head saying "Here I am!" F/B is also full of bugs and cookies and other nasty things geared to slowing down your computer. You really want to be monitored? Sign up with F/B. Since signing up, my computer suddenly became quite slow. It also took me 20 minutes to deactivate my account. That's how controlling F/B is. I kept getting a page error warning. Likely they do this to everyone who wishes to cancel, figuring most will simply give up and give in, keeping their account open.
Of course, it is impossible to fully cancel your account. All you do is deactivate it. All I have to do is sign back in and it will all come back up for the world to see. That is so utterly invasive. If I had known this, I never would have signed up to begin with.
I'm on to other things. A new blog is being created, which I will link here shortly. In the meantime, cheers and peace!
In addition, I realized how crazy it was to give out my full name to the world whilst sharing personal beliefs that are contrary to the way things are. May as well walk around with a bullseye on my head saying "Here I am!" F/B is also full of bugs and cookies and other nasty things geared to slowing down your computer. You really want to be monitored? Sign up with F/B. Since signing up, my computer suddenly became quite slow. It also took me 20 minutes to deactivate my account. That's how controlling F/B is. I kept getting a page error warning. Likely they do this to everyone who wishes to cancel, figuring most will simply give up and give in, keeping their account open.
Of course, it is impossible to fully cancel your account. All you do is deactivate it. All I have to do is sign back in and it will all come back up for the world to see. That is so utterly invasive. If I had known this, I never would have signed up to begin with.
I'm on to other things. A new blog is being created, which I will link here shortly. In the meantime, cheers and peace!
9.18.2009
TGIF. Not Really.
In the midst of this hellhole called third dimensional living, the truth is we're all alone.
Not that anyone really cares what I think. (Yeah, I know--passive-aggressive behavior. Today, simply do not care.)
I want to throw in the towel. Give up. I have no close family connections. Given up on that one. I feel old and tired. I have to push myself to even WANT to get out of bed. Most mornings I awaken, only to sigh. Damn planet is still here and I on it. For 20 years I've searched for my purpose. I've done the self-help stuff. Done the affirmations and the visualizations. Made the vision boards. Done the journaling. In short, I've done the work. And this is the result?
Maybe the whole "what is my purpose" concept is nothing more than a distraction. I have some acquaintances. I've learned it's next to impossible to really make friends once you're into your adult years. Most people I know are friends with their siblings or family or friends from their younger years. Or else they aren't really wanting a friendship or don't have the time or energy to expand their current circle. Or else they move.
Yes, I am creating quite the pity party for myself. But as I said above, I simply don't care. It is at it is. I feel as I feel. I don't feel like I own my life. Hell, I don't even know who I am anymore or what I really want. When I think about that, all I get is "I want a million dollars". Seriously. That's what comes to me.
I've searched out avenues for help and support and gotten burned as a result. I know people whose lives have been simple(r) or full of support don't get this. In fact, I can bet any such person would have already stopped reading by now. Who wants to see a person suffering and actually do something?
I need a hole to crawl into.
And an angel would be nice, too.
Not that anyone really cares what I think. (Yeah, I know--passive-aggressive behavior. Today, simply do not care.)
I want to throw in the towel. Give up. I have no close family connections. Given up on that one. I feel old and tired. I have to push myself to even WANT to get out of bed. Most mornings I awaken, only to sigh. Damn planet is still here and I on it. For 20 years I've searched for my purpose. I've done the self-help stuff. Done the affirmations and the visualizations. Made the vision boards. Done the journaling. In short, I've done the work. And this is the result?
Maybe the whole "what is my purpose" concept is nothing more than a distraction. I have some acquaintances. I've learned it's next to impossible to really make friends once you're into your adult years. Most people I know are friends with their siblings or family or friends from their younger years. Or else they aren't really wanting a friendship or don't have the time or energy to expand their current circle. Or else they move.
Yes, I am creating quite the pity party for myself. But as I said above, I simply don't care. It is at it is. I feel as I feel. I don't feel like I own my life. Hell, I don't even know who I am anymore or what I really want. When I think about that, all I get is "I want a million dollars". Seriously. That's what comes to me.
I've searched out avenues for help and support and gotten burned as a result. I know people whose lives have been simple(r) or full of support don't get this. In fact, I can bet any such person would have already stopped reading by now. Who wants to see a person suffering and actually do something?
I need a hole to crawl into.
And an angel would be nice, too.
9.08.2009
"Expert" Says To Land A Job One Must Engage In A Massive Campaign Of Massive Effort To Land Massive Interviews In The Hopes Of (Perhaps) Landing A Job
I could only shake my head as I listened to this dude on television tell the long-term unemployed they aren't doing enough. "You've got to engage in a massive job seeking campaign. You must take massive action in today's market. Massive interviews. Anything less will not suffice."
If that doesn't make you want to smack the blowhard (for at the very least supporting the current system without saying "hey wait a minute this situation is totally fucked..."), then this one will. His second piece of advice was to go into an interview and tell the employer exactly, in explicit detail, what and how you will do for them as the best employee. Not only that, what and how you will do such and such NOW. Today. This second. You must be willing to totally commit yourself 150% to the employer's bottom line.
This is nothing more than "how to continue to sell your soul and continue the work-for-a-living slave system" rhetoric.
The audience, of course, was full of pompous-looking system-blind folks who could only shake their heads in agreement while the unemployed folks cast their eyes downward as though in shame. Yep. Haven't busted my ass enough. Haven't quite yet sold my soul or exhausted myself to the point of hospitalization. Just not doing enough apparently.
What's next? Offering to work for free for 6 months?
(Oh wait, that's already been given as advice.)
If that doesn't make you want to smack the blowhard (for at the very least supporting the current system without saying "hey wait a minute this situation is totally fucked..."), then this one will. His second piece of advice was to go into an interview and tell the employer exactly, in explicit detail, what and how you will do for them as the best employee. Not only that, what and how you will do such and such NOW. Today. This second. You must be willing to totally commit yourself 150% to the employer's bottom line.
This is nothing more than "how to continue to sell your soul and continue the work-for-a-living slave system" rhetoric.
The audience, of course, was full of pompous-looking system-blind folks who could only shake their heads in agreement while the unemployed folks cast their eyes downward as though in shame. Yep. Haven't busted my ass enough. Haven't quite yet sold my soul or exhausted myself to the point of hospitalization. Just not doing enough apparently.
What's next? Offering to work for free for 6 months?
(Oh wait, that's already been given as advice.)
9.06.2009
More Reasons To Rethink The Monetary System
For many moons now, as I have watched Relationship "Expert's" (loosely defined term) on television discuss money and how it is notoriously listed as being the number one cause of stress in relationships, I cannot help but think "Why do we continue to teach people how to deal with this stress? Why not just eliminate the stress altogether?"
It isn't as though money is really needed. As it is today, it is. But as I always say: "Things do not need to be this way." That is one quote that truly sums up who I am. Accepting of reality, but when reality sucks, looking for ways to create something different.
Today I've seen all sorts of segments on "Recession-Proof Your Marriage." Give me a fucking break. No one is immune from the current unfolding fiasco taking place. NO ONE. To say one can "recession-proof (not to mention the truth is we're in a depression) their marriage" is every bit as ridiculous as stating:
"How to avoid being laid off"
"How to stop your job from going to India"
"How to ensure your health insurance company doesn't increase your premiums by another 30%"
"How to ensure your health insurance company doesn't decide to drop you because you're considered a high risk customer."
On and on and on.
And of course these pompous windbags typically have on the easy fixes. People who make close to $100,000 a year and up and who live in a 4,000 square foot home they bought for over half a million dollars. They also have 25 credit cards which they have used to buy totally unnecessary things like lavish cars, boats, 25 pairs of designer jeans for their teenage daughter and now they are whining "helllllllllppppppp meeeeeeee". Etc. etc. etc. They're suffering?
Please.
Not once have I seen someone who has lived within their means but simply cannot keep up with the increased cost of living. I have yet to see a family whereby one or both of the adults in the household lost their job(s) and they were already living very modestly and simply. Or what about the family where the health insurance was lost and they are now bankrupt due to a health issue. Such pompous windbags don't really want to deal with people like that. Too difficult. It's much simpler to deal with irresponsible idiots who really do have solutions so blaringingly obvious, the drunk on the corner could counsel them.
But back to my point. The best things in life are free. A nice sentiment. But of course full of shit when you think of the people who aren't ABLE to enjoy these "best things" when their entire life is revolved around making money to ensure basic survival. Yes, money is the biggest source of stress in our lives. We get that, oh holier than thou windbags. So how about this. Instead of tooting your horn of "DUH NO SHIT" level of advice (while you see another cool million pass into your lap for dishing out such obvious stupidity), you really dig deep and put your mind to real use. Get real yourself. Start questioning the very existance of money. Begin to think outside of the box (And oh god have I heard that phrase tossed about by these windbags. "Gotta think outside the box here folks."). Present new ways of living. New ways that would make the lives of your clients much more conducive to mental, emotional and physical health.
You're in a position of power. Start using it wisely lest you wish to be drug through the mud on blogs such as mine. You may be fooling your blind, naive followers. But you aren't fooling me.
It isn't as though money is really needed. As it is today, it is. But as I always say: "Things do not need to be this way." That is one quote that truly sums up who I am. Accepting of reality, but when reality sucks, looking for ways to create something different.
Today I've seen all sorts of segments on "Recession-Proof Your Marriage." Give me a fucking break. No one is immune from the current unfolding fiasco taking place. NO ONE. To say one can "recession-proof (not to mention the truth is we're in a depression) their marriage" is every bit as ridiculous as stating:
"How to avoid being laid off"
"How to stop your job from going to India"
"How to ensure your health insurance company doesn't increase your premiums by another 30%"
"How to ensure your health insurance company doesn't decide to drop you because you're considered a high risk customer."
On and on and on.
And of course these pompous windbags typically have on the easy fixes. People who make close to $100,000 a year and up and who live in a 4,000 square foot home they bought for over half a million dollars. They also have 25 credit cards which they have used to buy totally unnecessary things like lavish cars, boats, 25 pairs of designer jeans for their teenage daughter and now they are whining "helllllllllppppppp meeeeeeee". Etc. etc. etc. They're suffering?
Please.
Not once have I seen someone who has lived within their means but simply cannot keep up with the increased cost of living. I have yet to see a family whereby one or both of the adults in the household lost their job(s) and they were already living very modestly and simply. Or what about the family where the health insurance was lost and they are now bankrupt due to a health issue. Such pompous windbags don't really want to deal with people like that. Too difficult. It's much simpler to deal with irresponsible idiots who really do have solutions so blaringingly obvious, the drunk on the corner could counsel them.
But back to my point. The best things in life are free. A nice sentiment. But of course full of shit when you think of the people who aren't ABLE to enjoy these "best things" when their entire life is revolved around making money to ensure basic survival. Yes, money is the biggest source of stress in our lives. We get that, oh holier than thou windbags. So how about this. Instead of tooting your horn of "DUH NO SHIT" level of advice (while you see another cool million pass into your lap for dishing out such obvious stupidity), you really dig deep and put your mind to real use. Get real yourself. Start questioning the very existance of money. Begin to think outside of the box (And oh god have I heard that phrase tossed about by these windbags. "Gotta think outside the box here folks."). Present new ways of living. New ways that would make the lives of your clients much more conducive to mental, emotional and physical health.
You're in a position of power. Start using it wisely lest you wish to be drug through the mud on blogs such as mine. You may be fooling your blind, naive followers. But you aren't fooling me.
8.31.2009
Actual Job Advertisement
I found this on our local job bulletin board. It gave me a good laugh.
***
FEED HORSES AM and PM, and water/clean stalls/paddocks every other day. Interview and then Start Immediately! Have a very, VERY DEPENDABLE VEHICLE, live close by, and be able to feed 2 TIMES per DAY, EVERY DAY, in the morning and again, [about 12 hours later], in the late afternoon/early evening!!! AM feedings are needed to be done sometimes around approximately 6-8 AM, [give or take], and also, again, sometimes at around approximately 5-8 PM. THIS IS A SPLIT SHIFT! Drive there in the AM and then Drive there AGAIN in the PM!!! Averages about 1+ hours of ACTUAL work per day,
[ok, so far sounds fairly kosher, correct? the "hmmm" factor follows]:
but it is hardly worth it when you figure in your TRAVEL TIME and GASOLINE!
***
Ok, so explain to me why I should apply?
***
FEED HORSES AM and PM, and water/clean stalls/paddocks every other day. Interview and then Start Immediately! Have a very, VERY DEPENDABLE VEHICLE, live close by, and be able to feed 2 TIMES per DAY, EVERY DAY, in the morning and again, [about 12 hours later], in the late afternoon/early evening!!! AM feedings are needed to be done sometimes around approximately 6-8 AM, [give or take], and also, again, sometimes at around approximately 5-8 PM. THIS IS A SPLIT SHIFT! Drive there in the AM and then Drive there AGAIN in the PM!!! Averages about 1+ hours of ACTUAL work per day,
[ok, so far sounds fairly kosher, correct? the "hmmm" factor follows]:
but it is hardly worth it when you figure in your TRAVEL TIME and GASOLINE!
***
Ok, so explain to me why I should apply?
8.24.2009
Wonderful Website Portraying The Homeless
Please check out this most excellent, authentic and moving website. Invisiblepeople.tv Here you will read about and watch the stories of just a sampling of individuals and families without permanent shelter. There are no news pundits to cut the people off lest they become too emotional or their stories, too difficult to hear. The man behind this project, Mark (haven't been able to find out his last name on the website) was once homeless himself 14 years ago, living on Hollywood Blvd. He's made it his mission to to bring this subject out into the open, uncensored. Even though the project is, in part, financially sponsored by the Ford Motor Company (according to what I heard on one of the media outlets), I'm grateful to this man and grateful this is available for all to view at their leisure. As my teeny tiny little handful of regular readers know, this is an issue that I am very passionate about. Home ownership to me is a fundamental human right. Some day, at some point in the (hopefully) very near future, humanity as a whole and the system itself will embrace this concept. As the website says: "Our hope is you will get mad enough to do something." Coupled with compassion and persistance, we can.
8.20.2009
Keith Olbermann: The Sellout
For awhile there, when Bush was in office, Keith asked some very direct questions of that administration's policies. But now that Obama is in office, and things have (supposedly :::ahem:::) switched back to the left, Olbermann's gone soft. Last night he spoke briefly about the "nuts" in Phoenix who showed up to an Obama Health Care Rally carrying guns. Apparently Keith doesn't realize they were exercising their rights. Does he not support the constitution or states rights or the citizens rights to exercise these rights? Apparently Keith failed to read some of their comments, which basically boiled down to this: We are making a statement. If you don't exercise your rights and fight for them, you lose them. And lest you be asleep, we've been losing our rights as provided by our Constitution over the years.
Keith then went on to say these "nuts" believe the gov't had some sort of a hand in or knowledge of the events of 9/11. Apparently Keith's journalism schooling of asking the tough questions, where he was pretty successful at asking during the previous administration, has gone out the window now that we have a Democrat in office. Apparently Keith doesn't understand much about physics. Should he have to? Well, I didn't take any college courses in physics, but I do question things around me and came to the conclusion that official versions of 9/11 are full of lies.
I would ask Keith if buildings on fire collapse in the manner they did that awful day.
I would ask Keith how passports survive such a blazing inferno.
I would ask Keith how many buildings collapsed and as such, how is this number possible with just 2 planes.
I would ask Keith where is the video footage of the plane flying into the Pentagon. The media showed over and over and over again the plane(s) flying into the WTC. What's up with the complete lack of coverage for the Pentagon?
Keith went on to lump them into the right-wing extremist militia movement (who actually have some good points to make if only people would actually remove their attachments to their prospective political labels and listen to them).
The days of authentic journalistic reporting are dead, save for the citizen journalists out there and the few independent (meaning they are not owned by corporate america) news sites. Keith is like every other MSM journalist: an entertainer. Nothing more. Nothing less.
Keith then went on to say these "nuts" believe the gov't had some sort of a hand in or knowledge of the events of 9/11. Apparently Keith's journalism schooling of asking the tough questions, where he was pretty successful at asking during the previous administration, has gone out the window now that we have a Democrat in office. Apparently Keith doesn't understand much about physics. Should he have to? Well, I didn't take any college courses in physics, but I do question things around me and came to the conclusion that official versions of 9/11 are full of lies.
I would ask Keith if buildings on fire collapse in the manner they did that awful day.
I would ask Keith how passports survive such a blazing inferno.
I would ask Keith how many buildings collapsed and as such, how is this number possible with just 2 planes.
I would ask Keith where is the video footage of the plane flying into the Pentagon. The media showed over and over and over again the plane(s) flying into the WTC. What's up with the complete lack of coverage for the Pentagon?
Keith went on to lump them into the right-wing extremist militia movement (who actually have some good points to make if only people would actually remove their attachments to their prospective political labels and listen to them).
The days of authentic journalistic reporting are dead, save for the citizen journalists out there and the few independent (meaning they are not owned by corporate america) news sites. Keith is like every other MSM journalist: an entertainer. Nothing more. Nothing less.
8.19.2009
Really. Fucking. Hot.
Sometimes a picture says it all...
This was brought in from outside. Originally the reading was 110. Being inside in our nice a/c place for a few minutes brought the temp down a few degrees. Relief is on the way, though. 80 by the weekend, cooling into the 70's next week.
8.16.2009
Sunday Contemplations
What if the reason we're in Iraq isn't solely due to controlling the precious resource that is oil? What if there's more to it than expanding western imperialism? What if one of the main reasons we're in Iraq is to aquire the long-lost and heavily guarded secrets of ancient technology (said to be buried in Iraq), the technology of the gods (space travelers)? The ability to travel through wormholes and blackholes and the like. And what if this jesus being was an alien (meaning time/space traveler) who had that ability and as such, traveled the cosmos in order to remind us of our capacity to love as well as letting us know we ALL possess and have access to the very same energy he carried with/within him (and knew how to manipulate/use)? What if 2012 marks another 26,000 year cycle where something mystical yet completely normal happens, where a wave of energy encircles our planet (acting alone or perhaps with or due to this mysterious planet "x" or nirubu), giving us access to such abilities, plus expanding our consciousness at the same time? What if this wave of energy is what's largely behind the weather changes occuring on our planet (and the other planets of our solar system)? What if the sun and its increase in solar flares are also a result of this energy wave? What if there has been on-going battles between planets for access to such energy? And what if the Universe/All That Is which is what this energy is believed to be does not judge and therefore, such energy, such power, is free for the taking? Rather exciting and terrifying at the same time, no?
What if all of this were true? What if some were true? Would you want access to such technology? To such knowledge? Would you want to know how to access and control the energy?
What if I'm full of it? : )
Imagine the potential results of such an event. We're likely seeing much of the results from the last go-around today. It seems far past time it is used for good this time around, don't you think?
What if all of this were true? What if some were true? Would you want access to such technology? To such knowledge? Would you want to know how to access and control the energy?
What if I'm full of it? : )
Imagine the potential results of such an event. We're likely seeing much of the results from the last go-around today. It seems far past time it is used for good this time around, don't you think?
8.13.2009
Obama's $80 Billion Dollar Deal
The headlines scream, lefty media outlets drool and Obama brags: "In a deal made with the pharmaceutical companies, I have cut the cost of medicine over the next 10 years by $80 billion dollars." And yet, in the grand scheme of things, what's that really boil down to? According to an excellent commentary by Greg Palast, 2%.
And yet, will this really be reducing the cost of drugs over the next ten years?
"The Big Pharma kingpins did not actually agree to cut their prices. Their promise with Obama is something a little oilier: they apparently promised that, over ten years, they will reduce the amount at which they would otherwise raise drug prices. Got that? In other words, the Obama deal locks in a doubling of drug costs, projected to rise over the period of "savings" from a quarter trillion dollars a year to half a trillion dollars a year. Minus that 2%."
Greg also points out yet another of Obama's failed promises: The promise to make these negotiations with the drug companies viewable for all to see on C-Span.
It's the Bush years all over again, yet with more intelligent sounding promises, speeches and proper enunciation.
Those of us who either didn't vote or voted for Nader are simply sitting back, watching it all enfold whilst saying to the Obama supporters: "Yep. I told ya so."
And yet, will this really be reducing the cost of drugs over the next ten years?
"The Big Pharma kingpins did not actually agree to cut their prices. Their promise with Obama is something a little oilier: they apparently promised that, over ten years, they will reduce the amount at which they would otherwise raise drug prices. Got that? In other words, the Obama deal locks in a doubling of drug costs, projected to rise over the period of "savings" from a quarter trillion dollars a year to half a trillion dollars a year. Minus that 2%."
Greg also points out yet another of Obama's failed promises: The promise to make these negotiations with the drug companies viewable for all to see on C-Span.
It's the Bush years all over again, yet with more intelligent sounding promises, speeches and proper enunciation.
Those of us who either didn't vote or voted for Nader are simply sitting back, watching it all enfold whilst saying to the Obama supporters: "Yep. I told ya so."
8.10.2009
The Pursuit of Money
I want you to try something. For one day (preferably a quiet day with few or no activities), write down every conscious moment you have about money. Any thought will do whether it's a worry about money, wondering if you have enough, wondering if you will either land a job or keep your current one, wondering what to do next to bring in more money, wondering if where you have it stored is safe. Etc. etc.
You may be surprised, but likely not, to realize how much of your time, energy, focus is geared towards money. Even if you consider yourself to be fairly enlightened, you're likely spending much of your time thinking about money. I've come to the realization that the pursuit of money changes who we are, and not in beneficial ways to our emotional, spiritual, mental and physical selves. It makes us worrisome. It makes us fearful. It makes us competitive and on edge. It makes us controlling, doubtful and distrustful. And those are the rather benign consequences. Taken to the extreme, the pursuit of money can turn us into violent criminals.
Either way, regardless of how much money we have or how little of it (although I would rather have too much than not enough), the pursuit of money is a slow death of important elements of our being. It stops us from fully being who we are, for thoughts of fear (especially those that are ongoing) and all that fear includes, is a barrier to the expression of our inner glory.
I believe this is a topic that is sorely missing in the spiritual community. I have yet to hear of one of our popular new age/spiritual "guru's" discuss money in this way, much less read any of their words that discuss creating a different system.
Imagine not having to pursue money. Imagine having all of our physical needs provided for--by one another--through a new (mostly automated) system where human need takes precedence. Imagine all of that energy that would be freed up to pursue those things to our liking. To spend (and actually enjoy) our time in communion with others and with nature. Imagine not having to worry about having enough money.
While being physical beings in this dimension and having survival needs will always create some level of fear at times due to our innate need and desire for survival, it would greatly enhance our life experience if we were not given the heavy burden of having to create money.
The first step in doing so is to simply imagine what that would be like for you.
You may be surprised, but likely not, to realize how much of your time, energy, focus is geared towards money. Even if you consider yourself to be fairly enlightened, you're likely spending much of your time thinking about money. I've come to the realization that the pursuit of money changes who we are, and not in beneficial ways to our emotional, spiritual, mental and physical selves. It makes us worrisome. It makes us fearful. It makes us competitive and on edge. It makes us controlling, doubtful and distrustful. And those are the rather benign consequences. Taken to the extreme, the pursuit of money can turn us into violent criminals.
Either way, regardless of how much money we have or how little of it (although I would rather have too much than not enough), the pursuit of money is a slow death of important elements of our being. It stops us from fully being who we are, for thoughts of fear (especially those that are ongoing) and all that fear includes, is a barrier to the expression of our inner glory.
I believe this is a topic that is sorely missing in the spiritual community. I have yet to hear of one of our popular new age/spiritual "guru's" discuss money in this way, much less read any of their words that discuss creating a different system.
Imagine not having to pursue money. Imagine having all of our physical needs provided for--by one another--through a new (mostly automated) system where human need takes precedence. Imagine all of that energy that would be freed up to pursue those things to our liking. To spend (and actually enjoy) our time in communion with others and with nature. Imagine not having to worry about having enough money.
While being physical beings in this dimension and having survival needs will always create some level of fear at times due to our innate need and desire for survival, it would greatly enhance our life experience if we were not given the heavy burden of having to create money.
The first step in doing so is to simply imagine what that would be like for you.
8.07.2009
Forgot This One...
This morning Obama was heard singing "the economy's on the road to recovery" song. You know how it goes, right? If not, here's a sample of the lyrics (sung to the tune of "On Top Of 'Ole Smokie"):
The numbers are out
it's lookin' quite good.
Economy's cookin'
just as it should.
Sure we have our homeless
and food lines galore.
But those folks don't matter
to us anymore.
So go out and spend
your money on stuff.
Ignore the words of those
who've had quite enough.
So while Obama was engaging in a verbal wet dream about the unemployment rate dropping by 1/10th of one freakin' percent, just remember this my dear american: These stats don't include the millions who have run out of their benefits and are still unempoyed nor do they include the millions of unemployed who have had to resort to part-time minimum wage employment, nor do they include those who have simply given up.
2.6 million jobs lost in 2008. Between 300,000 and 600,000 lost each month in 2009.
And yet, the economy's on the road to recovery.
The people sigh.
Whatever.
The numbers are out
it's lookin' quite good.
Economy's cookin'
just as it should.
Sure we have our homeless
and food lines galore.
But those folks don't matter
to us anymore.
So go out and spend
your money on stuff.
Ignore the words of those
who've had quite enough.
So while Obama was engaging in a verbal wet dream about the unemployment rate dropping by 1/10th of one freakin' percent, just remember this my dear american: These stats don't include the millions who have run out of their benefits and are still unempoyed nor do they include the millions of unemployed who have had to resort to part-time minimum wage employment, nor do they include those who have simply given up.
2.6 million jobs lost in 2008. Between 300,000 and 600,000 lost each month in 2009.
And yet, the economy's on the road to recovery.
The people sigh.
Whatever.
8.06.2009
Brrr!
One week ago I sat behind this computer in a/c, wearing a tank and shorts, with temperatures outside hovering near 100, approximately 20 degrees above normal. Today, I sit here in jeans, socks, shirt and hubby's flannel draped over my shoulders. Temps outside are hovering in the low to mid 60's, approximately 20 degree below normal.
Summer has been an interesting one here in the northwest. We experienced what I fall the flip-flop syndrome. May was very warm. June, cool. July, downright hot. August, cool (so far). Extended forecast for the next week shows us remaining cool with below normal temperatures. Two nights ago, Mr. Nina and I felt we could smell fall in the air. There was a certain crispness that accompanies the onset of fall. Our fall mums are already in bloom. Some of the surrounding trees are already showing signs of foilage change.
I'm not complaining though! If given a choice, I would rather be too cold than too hot. You can always add more clothes for warmth when cold, but when it's hot, you can only strip down so far.
Summer has been an interesting one here in the northwest. We experienced what I fall the flip-flop syndrome. May was very warm. June, cool. July, downright hot. August, cool (so far). Extended forecast for the next week shows us remaining cool with below normal temperatures. Two nights ago, Mr. Nina and I felt we could smell fall in the air. There was a certain crispness that accompanies the onset of fall. Our fall mums are already in bloom. Some of the surrounding trees are already showing signs of foilage change.
I'm not complaining though! If given a choice, I would rather be too cold than too hot. You can always add more clothes for warmth when cold, but when it's hot, you can only strip down so far.
8.05.2009
"Pay What You Can"
Vermont taxi service tells customers: "Pay what you can."
A sign of things to come? We (certainly I) can only hope. While it may not be altogether practical to implement across the board at the moment, it is certainly a doable business model (and falls along the line of my previous post about establishing a sliding scale fee on all goods and services).
A sign of things to come? We (certainly I) can only hope. While it may not be altogether practical to implement across the board at the moment, it is certainly a doable business model (and falls along the line of my previous post about establishing a sliding scale fee on all goods and services).
8.02.2009
The Need For A Sliding Scale Fee On Goods and Services
Eating healthy food. Access to safe drinking water. Owning a home. Land. Access to health care. Education. And freedom to live as one pleases without hassle (without impeding on others). All are basic human rights. And of course in the monetary system, they're privileges. Money will buy you healthy food, water, a home, land, health care, education and often times, freedom.
I won't tolerate anymore hearing people say "that's just how it is". Most people who say that either don't realize how negatively affected they are by such a system or else they haven't been severely impacted by the system. Or perhaps they simply don't care because they are, currently, safe and financially secure. (I know people like that, many residing in my own family, which makes me shudder sometimes in the wee hours of the morning). Sometimes I feel like tossing a grain of corn their way, pat them on the head and say "go back to sleep sweet little lamb".
"The world isn't fair."
"That's just how things are."
Such statements are nothing more than lazy excuses. Instead of actually doing something, instead of embracing the notion that we're all connected and as such, have SOME amount of accountability to one another, not to mention future generations, such statements have become mainstream. The system smiles when such statements are tossed about.
In my neck of the woods we have a local co-op store. It's a smaller store, home to healthy, organic, local foods. If I could afford to, I would do all of my shopping there. But I can't. When you are living on a very fixed income and have the choice of buying organic chicken for $10/lb or non-organic for $4/lb, you opt for the non-organic kind. A gallon of organic milk can run upwards of $5 while the non-organic milk goes for $2.30. At least I buy hormone-free dairy products and meat and poultry when I can and I am very grateful I can afford to do so. The management and staff wear the "buy organic/buy local" hat proudly. And while they do offer a 5% discount for low income folks, they simply don't go far enough.
I'm under no illusion the monetary system is going away anytime soon, although in spite of that, I will continue to be a staunch, outspoken supporter of a system based on human need and the responsible, fair and just utilization and distribution of resources. Accepting this, we can begin to impart some fairness into the monetary system by encouraging a sliding scale fee on all goods and services. We've insisted upon and supported a system of sliding scale incomes. It's only fair, just and right (remember, those are American values) to create a sliding scale fee system.
No excuses either. It would be a hassle at first. And yes, some would take advantage of such a system. But I believe, perhaps naively, in the goodness and honesty of people. Certainly I believe in the decency of the human heart and soul. And as such, I believe most would do the right thing.
There is nothing...no thing...that can not be created and put into place. Anything is possible. Always has been, always will be. When it comes to how we live/work/eat etc. etc. we've been conditioned there is one way and one way only. Bullshit. Do not ever listen to anyone who preaches such crap. The road to change is often long. Travelers often become battle weary. Persistance and a refusal to budge from ones goal, beliefs, values is necessary.
As in the words of that wonderful saying by George Bernard Shaw: "The reasonable person adapts to his or her environment. The unreasonable person expects his or her environment to adapt to them. Therefore, all change is dependent upon the unreasonable person."
Embrace that inner unreasonable self! The planet and the people need more of you!
I won't tolerate anymore hearing people say "that's just how it is". Most people who say that either don't realize how negatively affected they are by such a system or else they haven't been severely impacted by the system. Or perhaps they simply don't care because they are, currently, safe and financially secure. (I know people like that, many residing in my own family, which makes me shudder sometimes in the wee hours of the morning). Sometimes I feel like tossing a grain of corn their way, pat them on the head and say "go back to sleep sweet little lamb".
"The world isn't fair."
"That's just how things are."
Such statements are nothing more than lazy excuses. Instead of actually doing something, instead of embracing the notion that we're all connected and as such, have SOME amount of accountability to one another, not to mention future generations, such statements have become mainstream. The system smiles when such statements are tossed about.
In my neck of the woods we have a local co-op store. It's a smaller store, home to healthy, organic, local foods. If I could afford to, I would do all of my shopping there. But I can't. When you are living on a very fixed income and have the choice of buying organic chicken for $10/lb or non-organic for $4/lb, you opt for the non-organic kind. A gallon of organic milk can run upwards of $5 while the non-organic milk goes for $2.30. At least I buy hormone-free dairy products and meat and poultry when I can and I am very grateful I can afford to do so. The management and staff wear the "buy organic/buy local" hat proudly. And while they do offer a 5% discount for low income folks, they simply don't go far enough.
I'm under no illusion the monetary system is going away anytime soon, although in spite of that, I will continue to be a staunch, outspoken supporter of a system based on human need and the responsible, fair and just utilization and distribution of resources. Accepting this, we can begin to impart some fairness into the monetary system by encouraging a sliding scale fee on all goods and services. We've insisted upon and supported a system of sliding scale incomes. It's only fair, just and right (remember, those are American values) to create a sliding scale fee system.
No excuses either. It would be a hassle at first. And yes, some would take advantage of such a system. But I believe, perhaps naively, in the goodness and honesty of people. Certainly I believe in the decency of the human heart and soul. And as such, I believe most would do the right thing.
There is nothing...no thing...that can not be created and put into place. Anything is possible. Always has been, always will be. When it comes to how we live/work/eat etc. etc. we've been conditioned there is one way and one way only. Bullshit. Do not ever listen to anyone who preaches such crap. The road to change is often long. Travelers often become battle weary. Persistance and a refusal to budge from ones goal, beliefs, values is necessary.
As in the words of that wonderful saying by George Bernard Shaw: "The reasonable person adapts to his or her environment. The unreasonable person expects his or her environment to adapt to them. Therefore, all change is dependent upon the unreasonable person."
Embrace that inner unreasonable self! The planet and the people need more of you!
7.29.2009
It. Is. So. Hot!
103 Tuesday. 108 yesterday. 104 today. Lows around 70, which doesn't occur until after 3am. Running the a/c 24/7 which means the air inside is stuffy, albeit cool. I long for the return of normal temps when we open up the house at night and allow that wonderful, cool, clean ocean air inside.
Today the coast breeze kicked in, dropping the temperature into the 90's late this afternoon, which felt good. I never thought the day would arrive when I could find some excitement over a 90 degree reading.
This is the Northwest. Not the Southwest. We that live in the NW choose it for its mild climate. Northwesterner's don't do well in the heat. We melt. We get pissy and moody. We hibernate inside when the temps climb much above 82. We are strong in many ways. Heat is our weakness.
This is ridiculous. There is nothing more to say.
(pic is a representation of what many of us in the nw have been visualizing this past week)
(pic is a representation of what many of us in the nw have been visualizing this past week)
7.22.2009
History Channel Uses The "C" Word: Chemtrails
Mr. N was watching "That's Impossible: Weather Wars" last night on the History Channel. I happened to walk by as I heard the narrator say "chemtrail". What the hell? I thought. Did he just say what I thought he said? Sure enough, there on the television screen was a computer graphic and explanation of a chemtrail. It's purpose, according to the narrator? Control the weather.
Of course it was being presented as something currently in development, something likely to be occurring in the future instead of something that has been going on for over a decade (with weather control technology being employed since the 1950's).
Nonetheless I was a bit surprised to hear the "C" word being used. Perhaps it's part of another brainwashing campaign to slowly get us used to chemtrails as being GOOD for us and GOOD for the planet (the 'ole "we're only doing this for YOUR benefit/we're here to HELP you" mantra), much in the way they're slowly indoctrinating the public to accept a jab in the arm of swine flu vaccine. I mean sure, the History Channel will air the conspiracy stuff, but in the end, the viewer is usually left with thinking "oh that will never happen" or "oh that is something that won't happen in my lifetime" or "totally impossible. conspiracy theory stuff".
Oh well, to those who have brushed off my "chemtrail" explanation for the past few years: Believe me now, jack?
For those interested in watching it in its entirety (something I will be doing), it airs again this Saturday, July 25th at 4pm.
Of course it was being presented as something currently in development, something likely to be occurring in the future instead of something that has been going on for over a decade (with weather control technology being employed since the 1950's).
Nonetheless I was a bit surprised to hear the "C" word being used. Perhaps it's part of another brainwashing campaign to slowly get us used to chemtrails as being GOOD for us and GOOD for the planet (the 'ole "we're only doing this for YOUR benefit/we're here to HELP you" mantra), much in the way they're slowly indoctrinating the public to accept a jab in the arm of swine flu vaccine. I mean sure, the History Channel will air the conspiracy stuff, but in the end, the viewer is usually left with thinking "oh that will never happen" or "oh that is something that won't happen in my lifetime" or "totally impossible. conspiracy theory stuff".
Oh well, to those who have brushed off my "chemtrail" explanation for the past few years: Believe me now, jack?
For those interested in watching it in its entirety (something I will be doing), it airs again this Saturday, July 25th at 4pm.
7.21.2009
Warning: Facebook Can Rot Your Brain
It's true.
I've seen it.
I'm starting to experience it.
After 2 weeks on "the book", I've noticed something happening to my brain. Little cells that once were aware to outer happenings, once concerned about them, once used to creating (hopefully) intelligent and insightful writings to share and inform, are now singing little "la la la la de de la la de da everything is just schwell weeeeeeeeee" songs. After being exposed to games like mafia wars (still don't know what that one's about) and quizzes like "what color should your hair be" and messages from people I haven't seen in over 20 years, some of whom I never really even knew but now suddenly want to know when my birthday is so they can send me a virtual card???
Excuse me whilst I engage in a moment of screaming:
AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH
Facebook could have some real value if only people used it to actually create some sort of change by really informing people of the real shit that's going on in our world. Unfortunately, one can't write personal opinion pieces on F/B. You're given enough space to write about 5 sentences. Most people write just one, two or three sentences. Something that was intentional I am sure.
Not that I'm against the occasional escape from reality.
We all need that escape now and then, but given the amount of time I've found myself spending on F/B and the amount of time I've seen others put into it (F/B has this little indicator where you can check and see who is signed on--and believe me there are people on my "friends" list who seem to be signed on all the time), to me it seems like something that the PTB created to keep us focused in a world of virtual illusion whilst the carpets are pulled out from underneath us one by one. Wouldn't surprise me one bit to learn it was created by people who understand the brain and how it works and as such, F/B was created to tap into the addiction/pleasure centers of the brain.
So I find myself facing a dilemma. Do I take F/B for what it is or do I, now that I have a growing audience, use it to reach across the screen like I do on here and gently but assertively say "Wake The Fuck Up"?
Don't know the answer to that one. Brain cells once used to answer that question need to be recharged.
I wonder if there's a mental detox program for users of Facebook...
I've seen it.
I'm starting to experience it.
After 2 weeks on "the book", I've noticed something happening to my brain. Little cells that once were aware to outer happenings, once concerned about them, once used to creating (hopefully) intelligent and insightful writings to share and inform, are now singing little "la la la la de de la la de da everything is just schwell weeeeeeeeee" songs. After being exposed to games like mafia wars (still don't know what that one's about) and quizzes like "what color should your hair be" and messages from people I haven't seen in over 20 years, some of whom I never really even knew but now suddenly want to know when my birthday is so they can send me a virtual card???
Excuse me whilst I engage in a moment of screaming:
AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH
Facebook could have some real value if only people used it to actually create some sort of change by really informing people of the real shit that's going on in our world. Unfortunately, one can't write personal opinion pieces on F/B. You're given enough space to write about 5 sentences. Most people write just one, two or three sentences. Something that was intentional I am sure.
Not that I'm against the occasional escape from reality.
We all need that escape now and then, but given the amount of time I've found myself spending on F/B and the amount of time I've seen others put into it (F/B has this little indicator where you can check and see who is signed on--and believe me there are people on my "friends" list who seem to be signed on all the time), to me it seems like something that the PTB created to keep us focused in a world of virtual illusion whilst the carpets are pulled out from underneath us one by one. Wouldn't surprise me one bit to learn it was created by people who understand the brain and how it works and as such, F/B was created to tap into the addiction/pleasure centers of the brain.
So I find myself facing a dilemma. Do I take F/B for what it is or do I, now that I have a growing audience, use it to reach across the screen like I do on here and gently but assertively say "Wake The Fuck Up"?
Don't know the answer to that one. Brain cells once used to answer that question need to be recharged.
I wonder if there's a mental detox program for users of Facebook...
7.15.2009
Harvest Day
While this wasn't my first harvest, it was our first harvest of carrots. This was after they had been cleaned up and the (massive!) tops removed. I gotta admit, I'm pretty proud of myself. This is the first time I've grown carrots and they came out perfectly. I still have several left in the ground. I also threw in some more seeds for a fall harvest. I chose the smaller variety, both for their size (2-3") and for their sweetness. (I also since learned that those little small fingerling carrots you buy in bags at the grocery store are simply regular carrots peeled and sliced down to a small size. True small carrots like the ones I grew are MUCH sweeter. And another lesson for the kiddies: do not buy carrots with the green tops still attached. That only serves to add weight and they also suck up more nutrients from the carrot root.) Our soil has a lot of clay. While I created my own bed for the carrots (top soil, mulch, etc.), I knew that underneath was clay so I didn't want to grow the lengthy variety. Also in the picture is a few leaves of green leaf lettuce and some swiss chard. All was used in a salad for dinner last night. YUM! Something very satisfying in growing your own foods. Friends stopped in last night and took a sampling of the carrots and some cherry tomatoes which are starting to ripen. Thumbs up were given. We also have peas, spinach (which ain't doing so well for some reason), squash, broccoli, beans, strawberries and a variety of herbs growing, most in pots. If we had the space, I'd be growing fruit trees, blueberries, corn and potatoes.
7.13.2009
Entertainment Recommendations
Some things I've been engaged in to occupy myself.
Currently I'm reading "The Life of Pi". I first heard of this book several years ago and, at the time, thought it was about the mathematical term, 3.14. In a way, I was correct in that it is the story of Piscine, portrayed as a young boy and adult male, who goes by Pi or 3.14 in order to escape the teasing that comes along when your name, pronounced with that Indian accent, sounds like "pissing". I am enthralled with this book. I am deeply engaged with the main character. I am taken away with the narration and in particular, the discussion of religion. This is a story of faith and adventure. It almost blinds me with its realness. I have to say I haven't been this taken away with an author's writing style since I first read Hemingway.
We watched a very simple yet moving film last night called "Opal Dream". Set in Australia, it tells of the story of a little girl who spends her time playing with her (supposed) "imaginary" playmates, preferring them to her classmates while her dreamer father has moved the family in order to stake a claim in search of Opal's. All moves along quite nicely until the little girl's two friends disappear, where upon the little girl becomes very ill. What follows is a story of sibling connection, and ultimately, faith in the midst of judgment, struggle and controversy.
Tonight we watched a rather bizarre yet compelling short film called "Light and the Sufferer". It's the story of two brothers, one a college dropout, the other a societal dropout. Upon reconnecting, the two decide to score some quick cash and get out of town. Their plans are diverted, in part by their own choosing and in part by a strange other worldly cat-like being, known as a Sufferer, who are said to follow those who are suffering, who don't believe they have any purpose or worth. Check it out.
Facebook. Yeah, I sold my soul and signed up. I don't know why. I'll likely cancel. I really don't have anyone from my past with whom I can see myself reconnecting with. I have a few local friends who are on Facebook, but I see them enough to not really need to communicate with them in that manner. One friend said it was a great way to connect with friends from the past, especially high school.
Gulp.
High school was a prison for me. College, not much different. In fact, since signing up, I feel like I'm back in those days, at one giant party, where I'm on the outside looking in. Seeing many of my old classmates registered on one another's page is like walking into a giant tub of salt, with me being a giant open wound. For whatever reason, I've never been one to have a large circle of friends. I certainly tried during childhood, but for whatever reason(s), instead of friendship from me, the kids instead wanted me as one of their targets for teasing. Either that or I was simply ignored. As a result, I grew into my teen years moody, rebellious against anything that was considered popular or hip. I discovered solitude was where I could truly be myself without hassle, so I became a bit of a loner, that is until I discovered weed and beer in my late teen years. Then I became the life of the party. However, those relationships made during that time were no more significant or meaningful than the ones made when I was sober. I had a tiny circle of friends who I thought were going to be there for the long haul. However, after I opted to divorce my last husband, they split. Since that time, I've become even more selective in who I allow into my life. And sometimes, I wonder just who I really am. Am I really this sensitive, hesitant introvert or did I become that way as a result of my experiences with relationships? Having long ago opted for sobriety in dealing with groups of people and new faces, I still face those social anxieties and prefer the company of animals, meaningful books, movies and music, and like-minded/like-souled introspective, sensitive nerds. So far, I haven't found such people on Facebook. They're probably out there, like myself, waiting for someone to come to them instead of doing the reaching out.
Currently I'm reading "The Life of Pi". I first heard of this book several years ago and, at the time, thought it was about the mathematical term, 3.14. In a way, I was correct in that it is the story of Piscine, portrayed as a young boy and adult male, who goes by Pi or 3.14 in order to escape the teasing that comes along when your name, pronounced with that Indian accent, sounds like "pissing". I am enthralled with this book. I am deeply engaged with the main character. I am taken away with the narration and in particular, the discussion of religion. This is a story of faith and adventure. It almost blinds me with its realness. I have to say I haven't been this taken away with an author's writing style since I first read Hemingway.
We watched a very simple yet moving film last night called "Opal Dream". Set in Australia, it tells of the story of a little girl who spends her time playing with her (supposed) "imaginary" playmates, preferring them to her classmates while her dreamer father has moved the family in order to stake a claim in search of Opal's. All moves along quite nicely until the little girl's two friends disappear, where upon the little girl becomes very ill. What follows is a story of sibling connection, and ultimately, faith in the midst of judgment, struggle and controversy.
Tonight we watched a rather bizarre yet compelling short film called "Light and the Sufferer". It's the story of two brothers, one a college dropout, the other a societal dropout. Upon reconnecting, the two decide to score some quick cash and get out of town. Their plans are diverted, in part by their own choosing and in part by a strange other worldly cat-like being, known as a Sufferer, who are said to follow those who are suffering, who don't believe they have any purpose or worth. Check it out.
Facebook. Yeah, I sold my soul and signed up. I don't know why. I'll likely cancel. I really don't have anyone from my past with whom I can see myself reconnecting with. I have a few local friends who are on Facebook, but I see them enough to not really need to communicate with them in that manner. One friend said it was a great way to connect with friends from the past, especially high school.
Gulp.
High school was a prison for me. College, not much different. In fact, since signing up, I feel like I'm back in those days, at one giant party, where I'm on the outside looking in. Seeing many of my old classmates registered on one another's page is like walking into a giant tub of salt, with me being a giant open wound. For whatever reason, I've never been one to have a large circle of friends. I certainly tried during childhood, but for whatever reason(s), instead of friendship from me, the kids instead wanted me as one of their targets for teasing. Either that or I was simply ignored. As a result, I grew into my teen years moody, rebellious against anything that was considered popular or hip. I discovered solitude was where I could truly be myself without hassle, so I became a bit of a loner, that is until I discovered weed and beer in my late teen years. Then I became the life of the party. However, those relationships made during that time were no more significant or meaningful than the ones made when I was sober. I had a tiny circle of friends who I thought were going to be there for the long haul. However, after I opted to divorce my last husband, they split. Since that time, I've become even more selective in who I allow into my life. And sometimes, I wonder just who I really am. Am I really this sensitive, hesitant introvert or did I become that way as a result of my experiences with relationships? Having long ago opted for sobriety in dealing with groups of people and new faces, I still face those social anxieties and prefer the company of animals, meaningful books, movies and music, and like-minded/like-souled introspective, sensitive nerds. So far, I haven't found such people on Facebook. They're probably out there, like myself, waiting for someone to come to them instead of doing the reaching out.
Corvallis: A Sustainable City?
One of the popular buzzwords flying about these days is "sustainability". In other words, let us create a way of living that can last for the long term with minimal impact on the environment and one another. Corvallis is certainly no exception when it comes to using this word. And yet, from my perspective, the term sustainable, when applied to Corvallis, is used more to imply you're part of the "cool" lefty crowd than it is about true sustainability.
Corvallis is one of the most expensive cities in the state in which to live, with low wage paying jobs and grossly inflated housing prices. Today alone, I saw an ad to rent a townhouse in the CoHo Ecovillage, all for a whopping $1250/month (which, according to the individual who wrote the ad, is a bargain considering the home, pardon me, the townhome, is for sale for only $285,000). I also saw an ad to work for the Corvallis Environmental Center, another organization very much into the "sustainability" movement. The wage? $10/hour.
Both of the entities behind these ads promote "sustainability". And yet, it's basic common sense that $1250/month for rent, $285,000 for the cost of a townhome and $10/hour for employment ARE NOT SUSTAINABLE. These folks need to expand their vision and think long and hard about their concept of "sustainability" because, despite all of the hype, they're missing the boat.
Our local Co-Op, another local entity into the "sustainability" movement, when being questioned by folks in the community via their monthly newspaper, The Thymes, often uses the term "providing a living wage" when referring to their employees. Well given the majority of their advertised positions start between minimum wage and $9/hour, they cannot use that term truthfully.
The folks in the sustainability movement need to expand their viewpoint, turn the mirror on themselves and get real. I realize most are well-intentioned, but having good intentions whilst wearing blinders does not produce positive, lasting results. They need to embrace the concept of money. They need to address the affordability factor. For if even just part of the movement is exclusive, then it cannot be considered sustainable.
Corvallis is one of the most expensive cities in the state in which to live, with low wage paying jobs and grossly inflated housing prices. Today alone, I saw an ad to rent a townhouse in the CoHo Ecovillage, all for a whopping $1250/month (which, according to the individual who wrote the ad, is a bargain considering the home, pardon me, the townhome, is for sale for only $285,000). I also saw an ad to work for the Corvallis Environmental Center, another organization very much into the "sustainability" movement. The wage? $10/hour.
Both of the entities behind these ads promote "sustainability". And yet, it's basic common sense that $1250/month for rent, $285,000 for the cost of a townhome and $10/hour for employment ARE NOT SUSTAINABLE. These folks need to expand their vision and think long and hard about their concept of "sustainability" because, despite all of the hype, they're missing the boat.
Our local Co-Op, another local entity into the "sustainability" movement, when being questioned by folks in the community via their monthly newspaper, The Thymes, often uses the term "providing a living wage" when referring to their employees. Well given the majority of their advertised positions start between minimum wage and $9/hour, they cannot use that term truthfully.
The folks in the sustainability movement need to expand their viewpoint, turn the mirror on themselves and get real. I realize most are well-intentioned, but having good intentions whilst wearing blinders does not produce positive, lasting results. They need to embrace the concept of money. They need to address the affordability factor. For if even just part of the movement is exclusive, then it cannot be considered sustainable.
7.12.2009
Japanese Railway Workers Face Smile Monitoring
I don't know what's creepier. Enforced smile scans on the workers or being greeted by person after person with fake smiles.
I wonder if they offer a good dental plan for workers who have less than appealing teeth.
I wonder if they offer a good dental plan for workers who have less than appealing teeth.
Biggest Landowner On The Planet
Ah, to be a rich royal elitist wench. QE II takes the cake on this one with an ownership of 1/6th of the planet's land mass.
7.05.2009
Sunday Ramblings
Well, another 4th of July has come and gone, my desire to celebrate as dismal as the local fireworks display. You see, I keep growing into this thing called "conscious awareness" and as such, I question everything. Is it really ok to light these fireworks? Each year, I hear dogs howling in distress upon having to be exposed to the noise. Last year, I recall seeing this poor traumatized dog running up and down the street frantically. I wasn't able to catch it. Last night, I couldn't even walk outside and breathe without being exposed to the smell of sulfur. And then there's the whole "freedom" mantra. We aren't free. Well ok, unless you believe in the idea of "freedom is a state of mind", but that simply glosses over the darker side of life. While we always have a choice, sometimes that choice can lead to those who disagree with our choice to interfere with our free will and impose something upon us. And then there's the whole americana bravado that goes along with such a celebration.
Look, I could get into the whole celebration of America had a history of honoring and practicing such things as freedom, truth and justice. But we haven't. So instead of pretending, let's use the 4th of July to truly celebrate the birth of America by looking with an honest eye at where freedom, truth and justice are missing in our culture and creating something new whereby such values are not just words but rather, played out through action. And perhaps, we could find some new practices that don't include getting shit-faced (especially on crappy beer) and watching things blow up while hootin' and hollerin' at the top of our lungs late into the evening hours.
***
I read up more on the upcoming flu swine vaccine, which is set to be released by Baxter this month. Ridiculous, all of the hype and fear, especially since the regular flu killed thousands more than the swine flu did this year. Of course no clinical trials were done, so we're playing russian roulette with another vaccine. The immune system is quite resilient and, for most people, is a much better protector of disease than any vaccine will ever be. I guess vaccines could have their place - if they were to be preserved with natural, safe and organically-based properties. But that isn't the case. And it likely won't be in any foreseeable future.
***
Ok, where in the hell is the consideration with today's youth? I'm not talking about the behavior we all engaged in during our young years. The partying. The loud music. The rebellion. I'm talking about taking ownership of ones behavior. I'm talking about consideration for others. I remember when I would hang out with friends and party. We would hang out in some abandoned field where no one was around or we would hang out at a friend's house and make sure we turned down the noise after a certain hour. Why? So as not to disturb the neighbors. The idea of consideration for others was drilled into my head, as it was for my friends as well. Don't just think of yourself. Think of others as well.
Many of these young people I am speaking of are the same generation of kids I used to care for 15-20 years ago during my stint in daycare. At the time, I saw a trend appearing that I knew was going to result in a generation of kids not having authentic consideration for anyone except for yours truly. These children had both parents working full-time and as such, were in the care of other adults 8-12 hours a day, 5 days a week. I remember thinking "who in the world do these parents think is really parenting and raising their children?" It isn't just quality of time. Quantity is equally as important.
What I saw were tired parents picking up their children, their children begging mommy and/or daddy for x y or z, mommy and/or daddy too tired to argue, too worn out to even deal with, feeling guilty for believing they couldn't spend more time with their children (with many of these families under the illusion they could have it all NOW) and more times than not, child got his/her desire. I could tell which children had learned how to use this to their advantage and as such, were turning in to demanding little tyrants, totally self-absorbed.
I'm not saying it isn't possible not to raise considerate children when both parents are working full-time, but it does take a fairly unique adult with an extra amount of energy to spare and a willingness to do what it takes to make sure such behavior is not allowed to continue. And just as important is a childcare system where the student to teach ratio gap is a small one. The place I first worked had a 17 to 1 student/teacher radio for the preschool room, which I felt was ridiculous. Also equally important are teachers who are willing to step outside of the politically correct box now and then and stop such demanding behavior at the onset, even if it means employing their own instinctive measures that may be contrary to policy. I recall one episode where the Assistant Director was helping me out in the preschool room. One of the moms arrived to pick up her son, a sweet little boy but certainly a demanding little tyrant when he wanted to be. Well, little boy wasn't ready to leave and told mommy "no", to which mommy sighed and again, repeated her request that he get his jacket. Little boy again said "no", only this time with more anger in his voice. Mommy sighs. If looks could speak, she would have said "I don't have the energy to deal with this!"
What proceeded was a round of mommy quietly repeating her request, her voice sounding more weary with each attempt, which only served to add fuel to little boy's repeated refusal to comply. Well finally, the Assistant Director had had quite enough, so she walked over to little boy, picked him up, and, despite his screaming and kicking, took him out to mommy's car, placed him inside and shut the door. All without saying a word. Mommy looked at me as though she were about ready to cry, and, with her head down, walked over to get little boy's belongings and left.
Assistant Director had returned. "Well done," I said, knowing full well as she did that if the Director had caught her doing such a thing, she would have faced possible termination due to the long list of policies, many of which are unnecessary, of the daycare establishment.
"I couldn't take that scene anymore," she said. "Someone had to do something."
Excellent advice.
***
It's been very hot and dry here, temperatures in the mid 90's. Today though we are having the start of a much desired cooling trend. Our natural a/c, the Pacific, has pushed in some clouds. Temperatures are expected to hover around 70 degrees for much of next week, which after 90 plug degree heat, is going to feel refreshingly cool. Oh how I long to live someplace where the temps don't get out of the 70's. Such heat didn't seem to stop people from enjoying outdoor activities, such as the Portland Waterfront Blues Festival, where I watched people on television listen to spectacular music (the best blues band I have heard to date, the name having since slipped my mind, perhaps even better than Stevie Ray Vaughan himself, was heard 1998 Blues Fest on July 4th)...all the while sitting in lawn chairs in the 90 plus degree heat, surrounded by like-behaved folks, bodies glistening with sweat.
Ugh. Not my idea of fun. When I attended, temps were around 70.
***
I thought of something today. My desire for and on-going pursual of self-employment. Whilst this is getting a foot out of the system, my other foot is still in it, helping support the very element that needs to be removed: the banking system. Like the ocean, where everything we throw into the street and waterways ends up there, with every dollar we create or spend (or save for that matter), it all ends up at some bank. Self-employment is very much a positive trend. However, how positive is it really when the very system that is causing so much unnecessary struggle and suffering is allowed to continue on its merry way?
Look, I could get into the whole celebration of America had a history of honoring and practicing such things as freedom, truth and justice. But we haven't. So instead of pretending, let's use the 4th of July to truly celebrate the birth of America by looking with an honest eye at where freedom, truth and justice are missing in our culture and creating something new whereby such values are not just words but rather, played out through action. And perhaps, we could find some new practices that don't include getting shit-faced (especially on crappy beer) and watching things blow up while hootin' and hollerin' at the top of our lungs late into the evening hours.
***
I read up more on the upcoming flu swine vaccine, which is set to be released by Baxter this month. Ridiculous, all of the hype and fear, especially since the regular flu killed thousands more than the swine flu did this year. Of course no clinical trials were done, so we're playing russian roulette with another vaccine. The immune system is quite resilient and, for most people, is a much better protector of disease than any vaccine will ever be. I guess vaccines could have their place - if they were to be preserved with natural, safe and organically-based properties. But that isn't the case. And it likely won't be in any foreseeable future.
***
Ok, where in the hell is the consideration with today's youth? I'm not talking about the behavior we all engaged in during our young years. The partying. The loud music. The rebellion. I'm talking about taking ownership of ones behavior. I'm talking about consideration for others. I remember when I would hang out with friends and party. We would hang out in some abandoned field where no one was around or we would hang out at a friend's house and make sure we turned down the noise after a certain hour. Why? So as not to disturb the neighbors. The idea of consideration for others was drilled into my head, as it was for my friends as well. Don't just think of yourself. Think of others as well.
Many of these young people I am speaking of are the same generation of kids I used to care for 15-20 years ago during my stint in daycare. At the time, I saw a trend appearing that I knew was going to result in a generation of kids not having authentic consideration for anyone except for yours truly. These children had both parents working full-time and as such, were in the care of other adults 8-12 hours a day, 5 days a week. I remember thinking "who in the world do these parents think is really parenting and raising their children?" It isn't just quality of time. Quantity is equally as important.
What I saw were tired parents picking up their children, their children begging mommy and/or daddy for x y or z, mommy and/or daddy too tired to argue, too worn out to even deal with, feeling guilty for believing they couldn't spend more time with their children (with many of these families under the illusion they could have it all NOW) and more times than not, child got his/her desire. I could tell which children had learned how to use this to their advantage and as such, were turning in to demanding little tyrants, totally self-absorbed.
I'm not saying it isn't possible not to raise considerate children when both parents are working full-time, but it does take a fairly unique adult with an extra amount of energy to spare and a willingness to do what it takes to make sure such behavior is not allowed to continue. And just as important is a childcare system where the student to teach ratio gap is a small one. The place I first worked had a 17 to 1 student/teacher radio for the preschool room, which I felt was ridiculous. Also equally important are teachers who are willing to step outside of the politically correct box now and then and stop such demanding behavior at the onset, even if it means employing their own instinctive measures that may be contrary to policy. I recall one episode where the Assistant Director was helping me out in the preschool room. One of the moms arrived to pick up her son, a sweet little boy but certainly a demanding little tyrant when he wanted to be. Well, little boy wasn't ready to leave and told mommy "no", to which mommy sighed and again, repeated her request that he get his jacket. Little boy again said "no", only this time with more anger in his voice. Mommy sighs. If looks could speak, she would have said "I don't have the energy to deal with this!"
What proceeded was a round of mommy quietly repeating her request, her voice sounding more weary with each attempt, which only served to add fuel to little boy's repeated refusal to comply. Well finally, the Assistant Director had had quite enough, so she walked over to little boy, picked him up, and, despite his screaming and kicking, took him out to mommy's car, placed him inside and shut the door. All without saying a word. Mommy looked at me as though she were about ready to cry, and, with her head down, walked over to get little boy's belongings and left.
Assistant Director had returned. "Well done," I said, knowing full well as she did that if the Director had caught her doing such a thing, she would have faced possible termination due to the long list of policies, many of which are unnecessary, of the daycare establishment.
"I couldn't take that scene anymore," she said. "Someone had to do something."
Excellent advice.
***
It's been very hot and dry here, temperatures in the mid 90's. Today though we are having the start of a much desired cooling trend. Our natural a/c, the Pacific, has pushed in some clouds. Temperatures are expected to hover around 70 degrees for much of next week, which after 90 plug degree heat, is going to feel refreshingly cool. Oh how I long to live someplace where the temps don't get out of the 70's. Such heat didn't seem to stop people from enjoying outdoor activities, such as the Portland Waterfront Blues Festival, where I watched people on television listen to spectacular music (the best blues band I have heard to date, the name having since slipped my mind, perhaps even better than Stevie Ray Vaughan himself, was heard 1998 Blues Fest on July 4th)...all the while sitting in lawn chairs in the 90 plus degree heat, surrounded by like-behaved folks, bodies glistening with sweat.
Ugh. Not my idea of fun. When I attended, temps were around 70.
***
I thought of something today. My desire for and on-going pursual of self-employment. Whilst this is getting a foot out of the system, my other foot is still in it, helping support the very element that needs to be removed: the banking system. Like the ocean, where everything we throw into the street and waterways ends up there, with every dollar we create or spend (or save for that matter), it all ends up at some bank. Self-employment is very much a positive trend. However, how positive is it really when the very system that is causing so much unnecessary struggle and suffering is allowed to continue on its merry way?
7.01.2009
Metallicized Particles Show Up On Doplar Radar: Western Oregon 6/30/2009
While watching the weather last night, KEZI Meteorologist Justin Stapleton explained that, what looked to be rain showing up on radar yesterday was actually metallicized particles resulting from some Coast Guard activities off the Oregon Coast.
Mr. Nina and I of course wanted to know more.
What was in these particles? What were they comprised of?
What were these activities being done by the Coast Guard?
And why on earth would such a thing show up on radar as rain?
Considering Mr. Stapleton has a Masters in Geosciences, you would think he would have more knowledge to share. Likely he does and just as likely, his corporate bosses wouldn't allow him to say anymore more than that.
Mr. Nina and I of course wanted to know more.
What was in these particles? What were they comprised of?
What were these activities being done by the Coast Guard?
And why on earth would such a thing show up on radar as rain?
Considering Mr. Stapleton has a Masters in Geosciences, you would think he would have more knowledge to share. Likely he does and just as likely, his corporate bosses wouldn't allow him to say anymore more than that.
6.30.2009
Seeking A New Life
I should really rename this blog to "rages of fury". Or perhaps "awakening has lead to rages of fury now I seek something better."
After spending yet another spring and early summer in this dry, pollen-infested valley, whereby I have had to hole up inside the past 7 weeks, only to be nailed by a god damn cold virus because some people are simply too inconsiderate at times and don't stop to think that "hey, i'm getting sick, perhaps i should STAY HOME" (honest to god am i the only person who actually thinks this way??)......where was I? Oh yes, pissed off, sneezing and coughing. Holed up for health reasons. Unemployed. Fed up with the system. No, DONE with it. Want my own system. Or at least want the system to really start working FOR me so that I may achieve those things that I desire. I am fed up with being 40 something and still RENTING, still searching for where I fit in, where I belong.
Do I want the mountains? The beach? Both?
It's easy to say what I don't want. Pollen. And valley's. Desert, too. Yuck. Give me cool clean air. I'm tired of having to rely on a/c.
Upon each visit to the ocean, something w/in me says "home". I cry each time I leave. I find myself each time I visit. People say "don't go to the coast. Global warming. Beach erosion." I'm to the point of saying "So what? It's always going to be SOMETHING that will threaten to destroy this planet." I'm done with living life, always looking to see if something dark will ruin my plans. Fuck it. Time to follow my heart. Throw some caution to the wind. Take a chance. I'd rather live 20 years at the coast then another 40 plus years in the valley.
I think.
Better a shorter life lived where you desire than a longer life lived where you don't like.
I think.
How about a long life living where I desire.
Yeah.
I've found some emerging communal-type communities, but so far, they're in the Southwest or other parts of the country that are hot and humid or hot and dry or nowhere near the ocean.
I figure if my vision of some asian-pacific invasion happens, the little army dudes will likely want to head inland.
I like to say "give me a trust fund of a million dollars and I will live just wonderfully."
Can't buy happiness.
Bullshit.
Well, ok, you can buy security and security is contentment and when content it is easier to feel happy.
What would I do if I were to come into a million dollars?
Move.
Well, no, first I'd buy a new car. Newer car, I should say. 2006 Civic Hybrid. '66 Mustang Convertible. 2008 Subaru Forester.
Then I'd sell off--likely give away--a lot of my old crap, hire some movers and go buy myself a chunk of land (5 acres should suffice) on the coast, inland, up in the hills, with a spectacular ocean view where I would build myself a totally off-the-grid home. 1500 square feet should be just fine. I'd have a greenhouse for year-round food production. Chicken coop. I'd spend my days writing and tending to my property. A yurt or two on the property for a music studio/artist studio and for guests.
If money were not necessary or if I were to come into/create that kind of money, that is the life I would build for myself. That is the life I would seek.
That is the life I am ready to live. Now.
That being said I have a simple invention idea. It isn't a green product. It's simple. For women. Cheesy little thing. Not a need, but a want (although it would provide for a bit of simplicity). Totally Americana. Totally would go contrary to a part of my value system, but what the hell. I can't do this lifestyle anymore. I'll do what it takes, even it means putting aside a part of my "soul" for a year or two. With the right marketing it could get me the kind of money I seek to build that life. Heck, I'd even sell the rights to it for the right price. I also have a few books I'm working on, including an e-book. And a demo CD awaits to be given to the right person and/or singer. Once I feel well again, I'll be pursuing all of it with fiery.
After spending yet another spring and early summer in this dry, pollen-infested valley, whereby I have had to hole up inside the past 7 weeks, only to be nailed by a god damn cold virus because some people are simply too inconsiderate at times and don't stop to think that "hey, i'm getting sick, perhaps i should STAY HOME" (honest to god am i the only person who actually thinks this way??)......where was I? Oh yes, pissed off, sneezing and coughing. Holed up for health reasons. Unemployed. Fed up with the system. No, DONE with it. Want my own system. Or at least want the system to really start working FOR me so that I may achieve those things that I desire. I am fed up with being 40 something and still RENTING, still searching for where I fit in, where I belong.
Do I want the mountains? The beach? Both?
It's easy to say what I don't want. Pollen. And valley's. Desert, too. Yuck. Give me cool clean air. I'm tired of having to rely on a/c.
Upon each visit to the ocean, something w/in me says "home". I cry each time I leave. I find myself each time I visit. People say "don't go to the coast. Global warming. Beach erosion." I'm to the point of saying "So what? It's always going to be SOMETHING that will threaten to destroy this planet." I'm done with living life, always looking to see if something dark will ruin my plans. Fuck it. Time to follow my heart. Throw some caution to the wind. Take a chance. I'd rather live 20 years at the coast then another 40 plus years in the valley.
I think.
Better a shorter life lived where you desire than a longer life lived where you don't like.
I think.
How about a long life living where I desire.
Yeah.
I've found some emerging communal-type communities, but so far, they're in the Southwest or other parts of the country that are hot and humid or hot and dry or nowhere near the ocean.
I figure if my vision of some asian-pacific invasion happens, the little army dudes will likely want to head inland.
I like to say "give me a trust fund of a million dollars and I will live just wonderfully."
Can't buy happiness.
Bullshit.
Well, ok, you can buy security and security is contentment and when content it is easier to feel happy.
What would I do if I were to come into a million dollars?
Move.
Well, no, first I'd buy a new car. Newer car, I should say. 2006 Civic Hybrid. '66 Mustang Convertible. 2008 Subaru Forester.
Then I'd sell off--likely give away--a lot of my old crap, hire some movers and go buy myself a chunk of land (5 acres should suffice) on the coast, inland, up in the hills, with a spectacular ocean view where I would build myself a totally off-the-grid home. 1500 square feet should be just fine. I'd have a greenhouse for year-round food production. Chicken coop. I'd spend my days writing and tending to my property. A yurt or two on the property for a music studio/artist studio and for guests.
If money were not necessary or if I were to come into/create that kind of money, that is the life I would build for myself. That is the life I would seek.
That is the life I am ready to live. Now.
That being said I have a simple invention idea. It isn't a green product. It's simple. For women. Cheesy little thing. Not a need, but a want (although it would provide for a bit of simplicity). Totally Americana. Totally would go contrary to a part of my value system, but what the hell. I can't do this lifestyle anymore. I'll do what it takes, even it means putting aside a part of my "soul" for a year or two. With the right marketing it could get me the kind of money I seek to build that life. Heck, I'd even sell the rights to it for the right price. I also have a few books I'm working on, including an e-book. And a demo CD awaits to be given to the right person and/or singer. Once I feel well again, I'll be pursuing all of it with fiery.
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